Sunday, May 18, 2003

CAT on CHIMPS My brain is frozen. I need a lot of heat to thaw it. Since that write- think- write- you are logged- off episode last Friday, my brain seems not working. To borrow Philamgyspy’s statement - " My brain went on strike and it will work when it wants to". If I am going to believe all the researches conducted, I would say that my human pet/companion/alter ego is an animal cousin of the chimps.I am a CAT. I have a different culture from those swinging movie bit players of Tarzan. (excuse me). Humans are believed to have evolved from lower form of animals. This is an outrage for me as a CAT, knowing that millions of money is being spent to research about the traits of some animals that closely resemble those of humans but I have never come across a serious study of our species. Even me, a simple cat does not have to spend months and years in the forest to observe that chimps most likely will live at the top of the tree if I know that hungry lions will devour me if I stay in the low-lying places in the forest. I do not need a scientist to come up with that conclusion. Baahh. I myself would not dare to go near the house dog of a neighbor when I know, it has been salivating to get my tail since I refuse to join it in a dog-chase-cat game. I am too classy to engage in such a game. When a scientist concludes that the chimps are inching their way into becoming more humans just because they were found to be cracking nuts with a primitive tool that had long been discarded by humans billions of years ago, this CAT is confused. Can I infer that we, CATS are close to becoming more humans because we are civilized enough to do our stuff in a litterbox and to eat in a cat’s dish rather than go into barbaric killing of a mouse……..While these scientists are talking about chimps and apes capable of becoming a Shakespeare given a computer, this CAT which is using a mouse to be able to write not only a sentence but also an article can hope to come up with a novel "THE POLITICAT IS A LIAR" .Have you read about a CAT peeing a computer ? Cats have the decency of doing the call of nature under a bush or in the dark corner of a house but they would not get caught with one leg up against a fire hydrant. They got culture you know. While chimps are found to be using sticks to pick noses (blech), CATs do the grooming subtly that even in public view; humans would not find it revolting. So what is significant knowing that chimps dance when it rains?.... Dogs look for shades or run inside the house when it rains like humans do.Does it require for the whys and the whats and the wherefores to explain this behaviour. ? Simple explantion is it is just being scared to get wet. Isn’t it enough to realize that the dwindling of the number of the apes and chimps is not because they have evolved to human beings if the evolution theory is to be believed…but it is because of the carnage of these animals by enterprising hunters who sell the meat as exotic food. I do not need these researches to become fond of chimps. I like them in the commercial especially that one that mimics an endorser of a wireless carrier. It is better though than the research made about the sexual lives of insects. No scientist so far is able to offer explanation why CATS make a lot of noise when they make love. Do not ask me, I am not a TOM. Besides, I think I have evolved into a higher form of animal. See, I can use a computer to write something for humans to read. SHE: What is this ranting about chimp, CAT? Are you fishing for assurance that I will not replace you with chimp as my pet or floating the idea of getting a dsl line because you believe you are pursuing life-enriching activities by blogging which others regard as time wasting behaviour aka internet addiction. CAT: I say, it is better than hooked up in Reality TV programs and considering a-food-begging poodle a genius. You humans are so complicated but shallow.haah Quotation: Self-praise is half-slander.


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