Friday, July 23, 2004

Ask Mom

Dear Mouse,

For the last four days, I have been meeting with some former classmates. I requested some friends to take care of my blog as I reminisced the good old days with old friends.

I got an idea from pinay/expat when she let her JP did the blogging for her.

Meet my guest bloggers. They are willing to answer your questions.

The Ca t

huh?thanks but no thanks. Ask mom.leave us alone.

Okay,shoot.Us gorillas are smarter than humans.tssk tssk

Doc Emer got some questions:

Doc Emer: Did you know that 2 men die for every woman during the years between adolescence and adulthood?

Mom Gorilla: So ?

(Canned applause for a very enlightening response).

Doc Emer: In the US men had higher death rates than women for all 11 leading causes of death. The biggest differences between male and female mortality rates were for suicides, homicides, nonautomobile accidents and autombile accidents.

Mom Gorilla : Doc,I can offer you causes of suicides.

  • mother-in-law, not the meddling in-law types but those stay-at-your-home -in -laws whose weather beaten faces-devoid-of-makeup greet you first hour in the morning at the kitchen while your wife is still snoring in bed. You do not want to see the future.
  • the wifey left. It could have been good riddance if she did not withdraw your last cent in your joint account.
  • unpaid bills. yourlucky to have a wife and neighbors named Joneses.
  • causes of homicides

  • your wifey tried the recipe of radical chef but used/substituted a wrong ingredient (on purpose perhaps?)

  • several times, you forgot to check the pockets for motel receipts, the shirt's collars for lipstick marks(your wife is allergic of lip gloss)and you talk during sleep.
  • you overslept in your mistress' home
  • your gambling debts give your creditors heartburn
  • causes of automobile accidents

  • your wife volunteered to drive that reduced you to a backseat driver
  • you eluded the cop that could have asked you to take the breath analyer test
  • you thought that your speed should be equal to your normal diastolic.
  • Non-autombile accidents

  • You are fond of lechon and other fatty foods. You think that your wife is just a nagger when she reprimands you.
  • Beating the red light by crossing the street when the traffic light is already red saves you precious minutes but won't save your life.
  • whoever copies this blog without the guest bloggers'permission.Pick your weapon.

    At 11:02 AM, Blogger Dr. Emer said...

    I had another good laugh reading this, Cath. Thanks for relieving me of my daily stress. =)

    At 11:48 AM, Blogger Sassy Lawyer said...

    Hay, I second the motion, Doc Emer. Cathy, ikaw ang antidote ko sa mga bwisit sa blog ko.

    Hmmm, pag especially bitchy ako, si Batjay binabasa ko. ;)

    At 10:23 PM, Blogger cathcath said...

    Moving on does not mean going to the last destination.
    There are levels of progression of the souls. The earthbound spirits may have moved on but they might not have crossed over yet where there is no more point of return.

    I got more stories more about these topics but
    am busy until my friends leave this weekend.

    At 1:26 AM, Blogger BatJay said...

    mayron akong kumara na talagang inspector ng mga gamit ng asawa niya. she checks my kumpare's collars for lipstick, amoy ng t-shirt kung amoy pabango ng babae. check ng leeg kung mag chikinini. check ng wallet kung may mga questionable na resibo at condom na hindi gamit. she also smells her husbands used underwear if it has the smell of sex. i shit you not.

    tawag nga namin sa kanya ay "jawo".

    At 1:27 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

    kumara = kumare.

    buyoyong ko talaga. kakasigarillo ng hope nung araw.

    At 1:50 PM, Blogger cathcath said...

    preho lang tayo.tingnan mo yong comment ko para sa kabila dito nakapost. boyoyongdinako.

    At 7:21 PM, Blogger rolly said...

    cat, kakatawa to. Pero yung unang-una about the mother-in-law, parang di nakakatawa. Nakakaiyak. Sabagay di naman nakikialam biyenan ko kahit samin siya nakatira. Nakakatulong pa nga, kaya lang daldal ng daldal. Lam mo yun? Kahit walang kausap, ipinaglihi yata sa sama ng loob. hehehe


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