SPAM REVISITED Methinks that the long months of tossing spam day in and day out made my brain develop an alert station in my finger tips that triggers the reflex action of typing block and send before my snake pointer can shed its skin to assume the form of an arrow. It seems spamming is a very lucrative and effective sales strategy that no amount of threat of legal actions can diminish its proliferation. Ringgggg Friend: Open a spam Cat: Am not hungry. Friend: I mean spam mail Cat: No Friend: Sige na CAT: Ayaw Friend: Just one CAT: Kulit mo. Sabi na ayaw eh. Why ba? Friend: Kasi ako inopen ko three. CAT: ‘ ahaaaa, naghahanap ko noong…nong.. Friend: viagra ? Sira..do not need that yet. CAT: Xxxxrated ? Friend: Shower at shampoo ka. Dumi sa utak lang yan. CAT: Baba ko phone. Friend: Sige , di kita turuan ng html. CAT: Oke, what do you want me to see sa spam. Friend: Hanapin mo yong nag-oofer ng instant ordination. CAT: ' No yan? Friend : Yon yong you just pay so much tapos magiging minister ka na. CAT: Syanga ? Saang Church ka naman magmiminister ? Friend: Di start you own church. O kaya ride ka sa malaking church kagaya ni Mike Velarde. CAT: Di naman minister yon ano. Friend: Pero may congregation siya. Di lalo na kung Reverend ka. CAT: Hmmmm, so gusto mong maging minister ? Friend: No, ikaw ang gusto kong maging minister. CAT: Eh ano ang role mo ? Friend: Ako ang in charge sa collection. CAT: Utak criminal ka talaga. Friend: Hindi yon. Just think about the lives that you would touch, the broken hearts that you are going to heal, the pockets that you are going to rip open(guffaws). CAT: Oo nga ano, I can minister to the sick, to the dying, to the people who needed to be inspired… Friend: Sige, pag-isipan mo. Tawag ako ni Mommy. Drive ko raw siya. CAT: Bless you my child hehehe Ringggg CAT: ow ‘nong nangyari ?…ooops God, is that you ? GOD: (with heavenly voices and thunder and lightning in the background) You cannot be a minister. CAT: Pati ba naman sa phone conversation, YOU eavesdrop. GOD: Besides being Omniscient, marami akong techies /hackers here. CAT: You are against the idea of me becoming a minister because I am woman. GOD: NO, with these sex scandals of my priests and Church princes left and right, I would like to see women in frock. CAT: What is it then ? GOD: You are a CAT. CAT: That is discrimination. I can sue you for that. GOD: You are suing ME? CAT: Yeah, I know you got no lawyers up there. GOD: I am allergic to CATs. Dogs go to heaven but CATS go to special place where your hair cannot reach my nostril. Achooooo CAT: Bless you. GOD: Thank you (hangs up) Rinngggg Answering machine: You have reached the number of REVEREND CAT. Please leave a message after beep. Beeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeep.