Room for rent

Dear Mouse, For the last few days, I've been pretty much busy, interviewing prospective tenant for a room in my place. The former tenant is gone after leaving horrendous trash in a pretty much neglected place. How in the world did he survive in that room, unvacuumed carpets, spiderman lurking in the cobwebs at the corner of the room and two slippers orphaned by their other pair under the bed. It took me two bottles of Tylex to make the walls white again. My arms and my back still hurt. I can say I am in excruciating that I can hardly move a msucle without saying aaaaaaaaaaaaAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAa. Applicant: Can we come over and see the place ? (over the Phone) Me: Who's we? I thought you are single ? Applicant: My husband. Didn't XXX tell you ? Me: No, anyway, you are already parked outside, so you may as well come and see. (she's calling from a cellphone). The guy with him looks like a bouncer. Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh no way, no way. The lady is sweet. I can sense that she is a good person (here I am again, didn't I tell that to myself about the mother of my latest tenant). Me: So why are you moving? Applicant: We got two sets of families, his and mine and we would like to have our own place. Me: Why not take a bigger apartment for the two of you. (nakialam pa). Applicant: We cannot afford to get another apartment because we are paying for one for our siblings. (thought baloon...uh uh) Next. My first tenant was single and is now married with two kids. Did'nt I mention it before? My problem with her was her previous boyfriend who turned into a potato everytime he sees my couch. (Uunahan pa ako). Meron naman silang sariling couch. Gusto lang yong couch ko kasi sa mga colorful and soft throw pillows strewn all over. Akala niya for the hugging and for pillows talaga yon. OYYYY dekorasyon lang yon noh.(Nanny Fine, I am fine).Oh there was also her cousin who stayed with us for six months. ngeeek. She was a tenant's cousin from hell. She would offer to cook for her cousin and would leave the mess in the kitchen for us to clean. grrrrr. Then my US citizen tenant took a vacation in the Philippines. After a few months, she started showing signs of a woman infanticipating. Buntis ang lokah. So I helped her petitioned the guy so that she will not join the ranks of the unmarried mothers. She became like a sister to me but I cannot be a surrogate mother for her son. She delivered a baby when the father was still in the Philippines. I know nothing about caring of babies. ah ah ah baka mabali ang mga buto pag kinarga ko. ah ah ah ah. Then one night, she left him with me. When he started crying, pinandilatan ko siya as if...he stopped crying para ba siyang nakakaintindi sa message ng mata ko. Don't mess up with me or.... Pag dating ng mother, saka nagpalahaw ng iyak para bang. Donot leave me again. She is a witch. The CAT