Saturday, May 31, 2003

CRAZy WOLRd Balikbayan box is a Filipino invention. At the airport, you can easily pick out a Filipino face from a crowd of arrivals by the boxes loaded in the cart. This box is used to send or carry goodies from the Land-of-Plenty to the Land-of-not-so-plenty but they want Imported-plenty. Several jokes were spun about balikbayan box but nothing can top the joke about a casket use as the “box”. (whoever is the original author of the joke, raise your two feet. I got this in the e-mail several times, the latest of which is from Liza. I invoke the saying, copying from one source is plagiarism and copying from various sources is research BUT writing about it is a gesture of recognizing one’s talent of creativity (at least). For Filipinos the use of casket to send the goodies to the relos was just a joke (or is it? ngeee) For Russians, it is no joke. A family in the Philippines was puzzled when the coffin of their dead mother arrived from the USA, sent by their sister. The corpse was so tightly squeezed inside the coffin that their mother's face was practically touching the glass cover. When they opened the coffin, they found a letter from their sister pinned to their mother's chest, which read:Dearest brothers and sisters, I am sending you our mother's remains for burial there in the Philippines. Sorry I couldn't come along as the expenses were so high. You will find inside the coffin, under Mama's body, 12 cans of Libby's corned beef and 12 cans of Spam. Just divide it among yourselves. On Mama's feet is a brand-new pair of Reeboks for Junior. There are four pairs of Reeboks under Mama's head for Miloy's sons.Mama is wearing six Ralph Lauren T-shirts - one is for Manong Roy and the rest are for my nephews. Mama is also wearing one dozen Wonder Br! as (your favorite), just divide it among yourselves. The 2 dozen Victoria's Secret panties that Mama is wearing should be distributed among my nieces and cousins.Mama is also wearing eight Docker pants - Kuya Diko, please get one for yourself and the rest are for the boys. The Swiss watch you asked for is on Mama's left wrist, please get it. Aunty Sol, Mama is wearing what you asked for - earrings, ring and necklace - just please get them.Also, the six pairs of Chanel stockings that Mama is wearing must be divided among the teen-age girls there. I Hope they like the color. Your loving sister, Nene PS. Please take care of finding a dress for Mama for her burial. For the Russian balikbayan box version: Smugglers tried to smuggle caviar in coffin Russian smugglers have been caught trying to smuggle 250 kilogrammes of caviar in a coffin. The red caviar was seized at Krasnodar airport when a customs guard investigated the coffin that "just didn't feel right." Russian news agency Interfax said the smugglers were from the far eastern city of Khabarovsk. An Interior Minister spokesman said that the coffin, properly marked as 'cargo 200' - a military and aviation term for a dead body - had arrived in Krasnodar from Khabarovsk after a nine-hour flight. Police added the people accompanying the coffin had all the necessary documents on them, including the coroner's confirmation of death, the way-bill and a form stating the cargo had been checked before departure. AnanovaThursday 22nd May 2003 Names Revisited Filipino feminine names usually end in a. Masculine names can be made into feminine by adding a, like Juana for Juan, Melchora for Melchor or changing the masculine endletter from o to a, like Mario to Maria (oops), Toribio to Toribia. But there are exceptions to the rules. There are feminine names that end in o like Rosario, Ceilito, Ceilo, Cilito and Loreto. The last two were also used by some mothers for their male sons. Except for confusions as to the appropriate address for these human species carrying names that are supposed to be for weaker sex, in the Philippines, there aren’t worthy news that have been caused from resentment of the beneficiaries of the unwanted names.In Japan, according to the Associated Press, a judge sentenced a 54 year old Japanese carpenter 14 years for killing his father, who he claimed gave him a feminine sounding name.Kaname Yoshida has a phonetically feminine ending since Japanese female names often end with “e” “ko’ and yo. There is no direct equivalent to English but is comparable with such as names Francis or Leslie that can be used for both men and women. Akiko in Bicol is Anak ko. Do not start me with Japanese made up words please in the likes of ano sa hapon ang pangit..di MUKAKO. mweheee


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