HOW TO HEAL A BROKEN SPIRIT I was cracked, broken when I came to the States not too long ago. The fissure in my spirit was imperceptible to the naked eye. There were tremendous pressures for me to leave for the States. The last straw that broke the camel’s back was my failure to get the fruit of my two year sabbatical. I almost got the degree. The panel gave a passing grade . The visa had been approved but I postponed my decision. My mother and siblings were wondering what kept me from flying. Not until, I marched and wear the hood. I have to meet the members of the panel for their suggestions that need to be incorporated in the paper. One member invited me for lunch. I felt the rage as soon as I heard him insinuate to go to a place conducive to a more relaxed and intimate discussion. There was that part of me that could easily spiral out of control but surprisingly, I held control of my demons. I could have slapped him and walked out of that restaurant. The thought of the hard work, sleepless and hungry nights to finish the paper in my timetable made me cling to my other side…the part of me that does not show myself…the pain, the anger and the sadness inside…BUT the courage to say NO despite the risks. The ocean of hope broke and flooded my world. He recommended for further deliberation of my paper. The letter of congratulation from the office of the dean was nowhere to be found. The person in charge simply filed an indefinite leave. I felt discouraged. I pleaded. I hoped. The manipulative actions, the conspiracy and the cover-up not only sickened me but served as lemon juice of life to give more pain to the bruised feeling. I crawled, fought back …My adviser resigned. I felt the wall caved in and swallowed me whole. I left with a broken spirit.. It seems like yesterday. A friend mentioned to me that the person responsible for my disappointment had a stroke that left him paralyzed. Would that heal the spirit that he broke? I am looking for that side of me that cries for relief. There is much to be fixed. A new wall with fresh paint. A new floor with new tiles….An old garden with new flowers.