Samot-sari Among the samot-samot forwarded to me by my brother, I picked two of them. 1. Anak: Dear Itay, padalhan mo ako ng pera kasi ang mga damit ko pinagkakain ng mga daga. Itay: Dear Anak, wala akong pera. Kung gusto mo, meron dito pusa. Gross. This newly ordained CAT eats veggies and fish only. I do not want to be seen eating dead poultry made stiff with some cornstarch and cooking oil. I was home early. Witthout airconditioning unit, I feel like I am back in the Philippines So what that has to do with my food preferences ? Because it was pretty warm, I got a quick shower after I put small slices of salmon in a casserole, add some teriyaki sauce and mushroom and little oil. I must have lingered in the shower long enough to see that my dinner for the night burnt into stone-like volcanic vomits after they cooled off. Oh well, half of the slices were still salvageable.Salmon with mushroom. Overoverover welldone. Thank you. story 2 Isang babae bumili ng asukal. Inabot ng tindera, pero sabi ng babae, "Miss,asin itong binigay mo sa akin." Tindera: Hindi, asukal yan. Minarkahan lang naming "Asin" para hindi langgamin. This reminds me of my college days when the barkadas used to switched sugar with salt in the sxchool canteen , waited for the victims and burst into suppressed laughters after watching the victims blurt in “unprintable” profanities. Bad, bad, bad…. rinnggg Friend: your phone does not ring. CAT: how cum I picked up the phone? Friend: No really, it took a while before it started ringing. CAT: Baka, sleeping pa siya. Friend: Was that the old phone ? CAT: You guessed it right, you win one broken answering machine. Friend: Where is the phone system, I gave you to replace that unit you bought from a fire sale. CAT: Hindi naman fire sale. Yard lang. Friend: Ganiyan, ka you don’t appreciate what I give u by using it. CAT:I appreciate it naman ano. Ganda nga eh. Muk’a siyang maiit na laptop and the numbers you dial appear in the screen. Made in Japan. Cool and high tech. Friend: So why are u not using it? CAT: Because I do not know how to install it. Friend: There is an instruction manual. CAT: Can your read Japanese ? This CAT can only speak little French and Latin. Friend: Like what? CAT: ' TU as grossi Friend: What that does mean? CAT: You put on a little weight. Friend: Bangs the phone CAT: Oew…that hurts. . Dear Diary, How could I be so insensitive by being straightforward. I could have just said. “ Je pense que la robe est trop petitie pour vous. Translation: I think the dress is too small for you. She lost her sense of humor. Meow