Tuesday, December 30, 2003

Cost cutting-2

Dear Mouse, Ahem, and when I was trying to be an intellectual, my classmate-VP hired (sweet-talked me, that is more like it, i allowed him naman eh kse guwapo saka "giggle ng klase".) to look into his pl and bs. (profit and loss and balance for you, humans)to apply the theories that were cramming my notes, (that is according to him to get my service gratis) Parang practice daw. He got to present a healthier budget. So feeling like a real consultant, I started burning the candle to pore over the detailed expenses and l tried to diagnose what was ailing the company. Ahaaaa, office supplies expenses were unbelievably high. What were these people doing with paper clips? Eating or linking them to make a chain...to strangle their boss in case...How old were the children of these employees? Before a lawyer shouts "RELEVANCE"---let me go to the sidebar your honor, it is like this... busy parents who do not have the time to get by a bookstore but still managed to be ideal when providing their children with needed school supplies..whisper...whisper...whisper.... How many of the employees are studying. ARAAAAAY...kalyo ko...ooops may natapakan ba ako ? (a classmate of mine used to pass assignments in worksheets with logo that I asked her if she has already changed her name.to..)(supply the name of the co.) But the surprise of it all is that, I traced the bulk of the expenses to the monthly consumption of toilet papers. YES, YES, YES, toilet papers. You see, that was a company which 90 per cent of its manpower were women. So, I felt that I have to look into the root of this problem. I went to the ladies restroom and observed. Wow, just listening to them roll, I was able to get ideas, how much they consumed on the average per visit. Knowing that the toilet papers were of high quality, there was also a tendency to roll more and keep them in their pockets for kleenex substitutes. Now do the math, if there were 2000 employees, there really was a need for big cartoons of soft/doubly ply toilet papers. Alternative solutions: 1. Do not put rolls of toilet papers. Allocate one roll per employee per month. Magtipid sila. 2. Install those hand drying machines 3. Buy the lower quality toilet papers as long as there are no skid marks. And as I was waiting for my classmate to give me the recommendation, his staff floated an idea about the musical toilet paper holder. Whenever you roll the paper, music plays. If you cannot get the message of this blog, there is nothing wrong with you. It is me, incoherent again. . It is an offshoot of me getting banned in a forum for rebutting to one Filipino's posts whose brief stay in the foregin country makes him think that people who do not buy his idea of solving a problem like the Philippines by cost cutting are idiots. This is the same guy who thinks that his Phil. passport should go to the crapper. HAAAH. Inuubo na naman ako ang my biorthym shows an exceptionally high emotional level while my intelligence is critically low.(as in floor level?) The CA t Dear Ca t In response to your question if we have them in the US, yes,The Chinese Stores carry them, Cat. In fact, next time I will look for the beetle nut and lime so I can chew them on the halloween and give the children a scare when they do come treat- or-tricking at home. W

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