Weird Dream about Fernando Poe, Jr.

Dear mouse,

I have never been a fan of Fernando Poe, Jr.

Except for the movies where he was paired with Juday Santos and Sharon Cuneta, I have never get to watch his famous PAnday series, not one of his action movies that portrayed him as a good contender for boxing championship.

Last night, I dreamed of this man.

You see, I have a pain that won't go away.

It is not as depressing as the thoughts that they said drove Irene Chang (author of Rape of Nanking) to shoot herself inside her Oldsmobile. Yes, it's true that I am easily affected by what I read and research especially those about inhumanities and abuses but it does not reach to the point of becoming depressed. Some people have a theory that it was not depression that made her commit suicide. It was fear for her life that haunted her after that controversial novel and the novel that she was about to write, the Bataan Death March.

It is not the same feeling of frustration and hopelessness for injustices that drove Ted Borlongan to commit suicide.

I have accepted that life is not fair.

It was just a pain that is soothed by the thought that even Jesus Himself was abandoned by His trusted disciples in His time of need.

In case you misinterpret that I am suffering from loneliness due to loss of friends, you are mistaken. When friends leave me, I consider that as blessings for I have realized the kind of frienshhips we really had.

It's another kind of pain that I endure. Every night, I included in my prayers that if it pleases HIM, I am ready.

Then I dreamed.

I went inside the church with some young children. I do not know their faces. I do not knw who they are. All I know is that I have the obligation to bring them to Church.

The church was not full but all seats were taken. So I asked the kids to kneel on the pew that was empty.

While I was about to join the children, a figure from a pew away, waved me to join him where one seat was available.

He was dressed in barong and was seated among the people who were also dressed in white and were seemed to be praying.

I smiled and formed thank you in my lips. It was Fernando Poe, Jr.

Then the next scene was meeting the husband of a dear friend whom I have not communicated with for a long time. He hugged me and I felt cold. He was in tears. I just thought that he was happy to see me.

So where is my dad who used to come to my dream during these days when I have to endure the pain.

Ahak, nagsawa na siguro.

Is Fernando Poe on that part of the other side that welcome newcomers to that realm? Posible.Pero bakit siya ang nakita ko. Was it because of Susan Roces whom I saw in the TV? Hmmmm.

I just felt, I should write this.

The Ca t