TWINS Every Saturday, when my mom was alive, I would call her over the phone and we would talk for hours. She was a good storyteller. She kept a scrap book for everything. Her first bus ticket, star photos, news items about her favorite stars and letters. It was from her that I learned about some obscure truths about my family. Among them is that the family belongs to a clan where there are several sets of twins in generations. According to her, we got twin great granduncles who were separated when one left for the Big City and for a long time nothing was heard about him. When he came back, his twin brother had just gotten married. He decided to pay him a visit without informing him of his arrival. He did not knock nor call his brother’s name when he got in his house. He simply sat in a rocking chair at the porch with the intent to surprise him. It was the wife who came out. After she gave him a basket, a list and the money, she went back inside the house. The wife was sending him to the market. The market was a walking distance, so off he went scratching his head. Came, the husband who stealthily dashed to the rocking chair when he heard his wife’s footsteps towards his direction. The wifey came out and asked why he was still there. The husband said that he was waiting for the money, the list and the basket. What he did not tell her was he went to a neighbor to get his winnings from his favorite gambling past time…huweteng. The neighbor was not there and he did not tell the wife that he placed a bet and won. They were #@$^&*( when the neighbor got by. Husband: didn’t I win ? Wife: ahaaa, you’ve been gambling again. So you used the marlet money to place bet in that bleep bleep bleep huweteng. Husband: No, this was yesterday. You have not given me the money yet today. Wife: But I gave you the money. Husband: Not yet Neighbor: But I gave you the money. Husband: What ? I have been looking for you since yesterday to ask for my winnings. You have not given me a cent. Neighbor: But I did. I bumped on you in the market just a while ago. Remember. You were carrying a basket but you were wearing a nice green shirt then. They were in the middle of argument when the twin brother came with the basket of goodies and the winnings. Just like his brother he also do a few chores for his wife such as running to the market, babysitting the kids, cleaning the house, etc… Both scratched their heads. Identical twins indeed. If you think , I am fabricating this story, wait ‘till you hear my twin brothers’funny anecdotes. 1.When they were young, they used to play pranks on our first time visitors. One would conveniently position himself at the foot of the stairwell and the other would be at the entrance of the living room. It amused them to no end whenever they heard the remark would , how in the earth did he do that ? 2. They are so identical in looks that even my father was confused to who was N and who was N. The playful twin would ask allowance from my dad. In a short while, the same twin would ask for an allowance. The other twin would come later. My dad would blurt out..I gave you already your allowances a minute ago… 1. In school, they always belonged to the same section. But problems caused by misidentification, intented and unintented confusions drove the school management to put them in separate sections. It proved to be beneficial to both the teachers and my twin brothers. One can easily pass off as the other twin when any of them would like to ditch off a class. I do not mean they did that all the time. Other reasons included inability to review for a test, feeling sick or would like to be sick…or plain laziness. Bhwahhaaaha 2. When one of the twins got married, the other half was the best man. The groom-to-be and the best man were standing side by side at the foot of the altar when the priest walked in to start the ceremony. He gave the signal to the organist to start the march while he motioned to the not-the-groom-twin to step closer. The priest failed to see the groom-to-be-twin stooping to pick up something from the floor. Seeing the mistaken-groom-twin stubborn to move closer, the priest approached him. When he was a few inches away from the twins, the groom-to-be sprung up from his bent position. The audience laughed when the priest could not figure who was the groom-to-be. Seems like the comedy of errors. My mom said that the twins are born in the succeeding generation. My other twin brother is still single If ever he marries and has children, there should be twins, a boy and a girl. One, I will name Denise and the other Denephew. Mwehehehe