Tuesday, September 02, 2003

Divorce, anyone ?

Dear Mouse, Lately, the humans in the coffee shop were spending extra time now that there were new customers. Two of them even dragged one of the the tables outside and engaged in mudpie-throwing. The other day, I digressed by writing about my friend's favorite statements to parry questions about marriage. Now, I digressed again by recording the conversations of my favorite humans on divorce. Len:. Divorce and separation are financially devastating. Money problems usually drive a wedge between two people who are otherwise in love with each other. Wander: There are many number of reasons why separation and divorce happen but I am stressing the point that money problem may not be the number one issue but it could be an integral part... Philamgypsy: Now money is of course an integral part. How can you meet even the basic needs kung walang pera??? It becomes stressful ...Like a domino effect, it is the beginning of the end if one is not solid or strong, or if one is emotionally/mentally weak, or immature. Ibs: Separation incurs two sets of overhead in a reduced income. The worldly matters will all eventually matter. Details from/to the nitty-gritty of couple's finances will be in the hands of a ticking money machine. The more emotional the divorce is, the more expensive it will be --- harsh reality. Len: For others where money is not a problem, emotional hunger may come between them too. One or both fall out of love, one gets to meet another at work and falls in love with another person, one discovers a character flaw that he / she finds unacceptable ( commonly called irreconciliable differences or incompatibilities ) , or one is too busy to meet the other's emotional needs.Yes there are hundreds of reasons. Philamgypsy: Emotional Hunger.....a person at times is not aware that he/she is emotionally hungry. Cannot articulate, as again culturally, di yan pinaguusapan, or EGO will block it all, kumapa ka sa dilim, or read my mind. Lollololol I don't mean to be insulting here, but even some "educated" people are not aware of this one. Dadaanin yan sa passive-aggressive, padabog dabog, or walang kibuan till doomsday, matira matibay, Gie: I couldn't have said it any better, Gee. Yes, when a couple cannot see eye to eye and refuse to compromise, it is the beginning of the end. Combine that with all the little annoying things and sum it all up. The sulking and the one who knows it all, not listening to each other, etc., etc. I like how Len described it, emotional hunger which when not filled is the worst hunger of all. W: Perhaps, laziness of a partner drives one to fall out of love but unfaithfulness is the more mitigating factor, don't you think so? Ibs: Unfaithfulness engenders mistrust. When trust is broken in a marriage, problems fall like dark shadows across the harmony path. The pain is real and it constantly interferes with the couple's daily activities. Moneyed or not, couples start arguing about finances. Walls are created instead of bridges and distance separates. Philamgypsy:There really should be a class in Marriage/Parenthood. They should offer this class before college. They should teach Foresight 101 and Survival 101 before entering college. Jude: There are classes... not in college but they can be found in the actual classroom of life. My husband and I took the course for long years. Philamgypsy: Psssttt...somebody might be reading this, matatakot magasawa....Pls. don't, If you're fortunate enough to run into this section....Just take some good notes, trust me, there are many happy marriages out there because they've got the basics in place and yes, prayed along the way. Mousey, can you understand a thing? The CAT Dear CAT, Not a thing because I refuse to understand. Excuse me while i take a drink from your cup. slurppppp The Mouse


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