The Ca t, The Pope and the CSI

Dear mouse,

Who do you think among the candidates is going to be elected as the next Pope?

Got to call God.

Rinngggggggggggggggg

The Ca t : Well what do you know, it isn't engaged. The people must be busy condoling with the Catholics.

God: What is it this time Ca t ?

The Ca t: I want to recommend the Archbishop for the next pope.

God: I have nothing to do with the choice of the Pope, Ca t?

The Ca t: Well, they claimed that inspiration comes from you.It is tantamount to saying You whisper in their ears while they are in deep meditation.

God : You believe that ? I did not choose the popes who were responsible for the deaths of people who were accused of heresy. I am not responsible for the popes who shared power with the monarchs and massacred non-believers. But let’s go back to your first statement ? Who are you recommending for the position? Granting that you have the privilege to vote for the selection of a Pope.

The Ca t: I recommend Godfried Danneels.

God: Don’t you want a Black Pope, Ca t? You have to realize that the highest number of Catholics are no longer found in Latin and European countries but in Africa so do not be surprised if a Nigerian Pope is elected.

The Ca t : True, God but just like the parable of the Lost Sheep, your Son left the flock of sheeps to look for one lost sheep. The latest pope came from a communist country where Catholicism was banned. Catholicism is slowly becoming unpopular in some European countries. Isn't it time to restore the faith where it is already lost because of too much conservatism?

God: But Catholicism is not my religion. It is some peoples' religion.

The Ca t: Okay, God for the sake of argument, I will accept that and please consider my recommendee in case you want to do some whisperings. Look, he is the only Cardinal who urged the Vatican to allow women to hold posts normally taken by the cardinal.

God: Uhum. Is that the only reason ?

The Ca t : Well he recommended that condoms can be used in the fight against AIDs and what is important is his recommendation that the Bishop would have more say in the running of the Church.

God :Uhuhu, the Vatican would not like that...to dissipate its powers.

The Ca t: Ahaaaaa...

God : What ahaaaaa?

The Ca t : So you know that they want the power monopoly.

God: Why should I not know but as you have said, your recommendee wanted to have a say in the running of the Church. Catholicism is not the only religion in my World, Ca t. If I am going to intervene in all the adminstrative processes of these churches, I might as well run the whole thing.

The Ca t : Why don’t you ?

God: You want the End of the World ?

The Ca t: You mean you are choosing the Italian Cardinal as the next pope ?

God : What do you mean?

The Ca t: Well, they have this belief that the moment, the Vatican leadership is returned to an Italian, the end of the word is nigh.

God: Tell that to the Non-Catholics, Ca t.

The Ca t: Oh one more thing, GOD. Don't you know that Grissom is a Catholic?

God: Who’s he ?

The Ca t: My favorite CSI character .

God: How did you know?

The Ca t: Because the priest told him so. He addressed him as Father instead of Reverend or Minister like non-Catholics do when they see a man of God.

The only difference is he does not have the Catholic guilt anymore.

God: Are we going to talk about the incoming Pope or the CSI.

The Ca t : Ow, can you excuse me for an hour, God , I want to watch the next episode. It's on.

God: And I was enjoying the conversation with a Ca t. Humans, I mean Cats.

The Ca t