Si Pinay ang Soap Opera

Dear Mouse,

Drama ng mga buhay sa Pinay.

The Ca t

Paalala

Dear Mouse,

May salawikain tayo na :

Ang pagsisisi ay palaging nasa huli.

Minsan may pagkakamali tayo na hindi natin inaasahang pagsisihan natin pagdating ng araw.

Isa sa mga kailangan ng isang nag-iimigrate dito sa Estet ay ang medical examination kung saan ang doctor ay tinatanong ang applicant kung gumamit sila ng pinagbabawal na gamot. Ang iba ay umaamin na gumamit sila nang kanilang kabataan .Dahil sa sagot na ito, sila ay hindi binibigyan ng visa sa US Embassy sa Manila.

According to Atty. Robert Reeves, there is a developing trend in the US Embassy in Manila where applications for immigrant visa are denied on the basis of past drug use.

He said further that he would like to challenge the interpretation of immigration officers in including a past drug use without conviction in barring the aliens to come to the US as immigrant.

Not just an admission can exclude an alien, it should be validly obtained in order to bar the immigrant from coming to the US.

(PN)

Paalala lang sa gustong mapunta sa Estet.

The Ca t

Si Pusa

Dear Mouse,

Naniniwala ako na kahit magkapatid ay nagkakaiba ng pag-iisip.

Ang paniniwala ko ay ang buhay ay parang sandwich.Dapat may gulay, may karne, may mayo o ketchup.

Yan ang estilo ng aking pagsusulat. May recycled jokes,may mga seryosong ginagawa kong katatawanan na ang paniniwala ko ay may mensahe akong naibibigay kung ang nagbabasa ay nauunawaan ang paksa. Wala akong balak isalba ang Pilipinas. Hindi ako si Kristala o kaya si Darna. Ibibigay ko lang ang mga kuwentong nauunawaan ka na makabubuti o makakasama sa bansa. Ang mga artista ay kasama sa usapan dahil malaki ang nagagawa nila sa pag-iisip ng mga Pilipino. Kung gustong yumaman, kailangang mag-artista o kaya maging pulitiko o kaya sabay.

Pero sa mga feedback ko,( hindi lang sa comment) mga respetable naman ang mga nagbabasa.

Pinauubaya ko sa mga kolumnista at mga seryosong manunulat ang mga usaping ibig nilang talakayin sa kanilang pamamaraan.

Ang aking market positioning,geographicwise ay palengke instead of mall.Opo,palengkera ini.

Ang mga pabirong comment dito ay sa mga kakilala na nakakaalam na nang aming paninindigan, magkaiba man o magkatulad.

Mahigit namang lima ang nagbabasa ng blog na ito dahil sa counter ko ay libo libo na hindi kasama ang mga spammer. Ibig sabihin, may gustong tumawa.

Hindi ako puwedeng magseryoso, baka ako ma ICU.

Naiintindihan ko rin ang sinusulat kong pasaring.

Dahil totoo yong mga yon.

Saiyo Anonymous,salamat po.

The Ca t

The Cabinet Members

Dear Mouse,

Kung ano ang sukat ng ohales iyon ding ang laki ng butones.

Ang ibig sabihin nito ay ang pagtutugma ng mga bagay- bagay upang tiyak ang pagkuha ng magandang resulta. Sa pagkuha ng empleyado o ng mamahala marapat na ito ay may-alam sa katungkulang kanilang gagampanan.

Sa mga Katulong ng Pangulo sa pag-ugit ng pamahalaan, ang mga kagawad ng kaniyang Gabinete ay dapat may pinag-aralan o may karanasan sa kaniyang departamento.

Kilalanin natin ang mga Kalihim ng Pangulo.

Department of Energy

Vincent Perez

Educ.Attainment:

UP-Bachelor’sdegree in Business Economics

Wharton Business School of the University of Pensylvania=Masters in Business Administration

He has the distinction of being the first Asian partner at Lazard and the first Filipino partner on Wall Street.

The Ca t sez: SO? Ano ang ginagawa ng finance whiz sa Department of Energy?

Department of Budget Management

Emilia Boncodin

UP=BSBA and Accountancy

She placed 15th in the CPA Board Examinations that same year.

Harvard University in Cambridge=Masters in Public Administration( Edward S. Mason Fellow)

1996 Dwight Eisenhower Fellow for the Philippines.

The Ca t sez: Galing at simple pa.

Department of Health

Manuel M. Dayrit

Ateneo de Manila=AB

UP College of Medicine=Medical degree

London School of Hygiene and Tropical Medicine=Master of Science

Before his appointment, he was Assistant Vice-President of United Laboratories, Inc. as well as Vice-President and General Manager of Health Delivery Systems, Inc. Even before that, he was Vice-President for Medical Services of Aetna Health Care, Inc.

The Ca t sez: Hmmmmm malakas kaya itong mga firms na ito sa Department of Health?

Department of Finance

Juanita D. Amatong

Silliman University=BSBA, Graduate, Cum Laude

Syracuse University, New York= MA in Economics & Public Administration

1996-Oct. 1998 : Executive Director

The World Bank Group Washington D.C. USA

The Ca t sez: Galing din. Kaya ba dumami ang utang natin ?

Department of Labor and Employment

Patricia Sto. Tomas

FEU= Bachelor of Arts

UP=Master of Science degree

Harvard University=Master in Public Administration

She has been with DOLE ever since.

The Ca t sez: Education and experience.Hmmm

Department of Social Welfare

Corazon “Dinky”Soliman

UP=Bachelor of Science in Social Work

She copped 5th place in the 1974 National Board Examinations for Social Workers.

Kennedy School of Government,Harvard University: Master in Public Administration

Department of Transportation and Communications

LEANDRO RAMOS MENDOZA

Philippine Military Academy – Bachelor of Science

UP – Visayas, Cebu City – MA in Public Management AFPCGSC, Ft. Bonifacio, MM – General Staff Course

The Ca t sez: One of the thank you sirs.

Itutuloy

The Ca t

Si Pinay, Batang Likot at Gabby Concepcion

Dear Mouse

Kuwento ni Sassy ay ang mga batang dinadala sa opit ng mga magulang sa Pinas.

Kuwento ni Pinay aang mga batang dinadala sa opit ng mga magulang sa Estet.

The Ca t

Mabisang Birth Control

Dear Mouse,

May salawikaing:

May mabuting mapait namnamin,

May mapait namang di masamang kanin.

Sa aking palagay ay iba ang pagsabihan na ang mga Filipino ay duwag at ang sabihan ang isang Filipino ay duwag. Kapag ang Filipinong ito ay sabihing tinutuya ang buong lipi na duwag dahil sa sarili niyang karuwagan, oras na para ipagwasiwasan ito sa Ilog Pasig hanggang aminin niya na ang karuwagan ay sa kaniya lamang.

Katulad nang pangyayari sa Kalihim ng Pangkalusugan Manuel Dayrit. Ito ang balita.

DOH to file diplomatic protest vs Thai 'condom king' Health Secretary Manuel Dayrit Wednesday said he will file a diplomatic protest against visiting Thai lawmaker Mechai Viravaidya for commenting on his alleged failure to promote family planning. Dayrit said Viravaidya has no right to tell the Philippine government what it needs to do in the campaign against AIDS (Acquired Immune Deficiency Syndrome) and the overpopulation problem.

The Cat notes:

The comment on alleged failure points to him as the Secretary of Health responsible for the implementation of the family planning.

Totoo naman. Anong masakit doon?

Totoong walang karapatan ang sinumang hinayupak na mambabatas ng ibang bansa para tayo diktahan pero kung ang sinabi ay katotohanan, masama ba ito? Dinusta ba ng Thai official na ito ang bansa nang punahin niya si Dayrit?

Ang population growth ng Thailand ay napakababa at inaamin naman nito na ang AIds ay nanalasa sa mga nasa prostitution industry (Oo Birhinya,isa yan sa mga nakakapalakas ng turismo).

Balat sibuyas karamihan sa atin kaya pati amoy, sibuyas na rin. ehek.

Talaga namang mataas ang growth ng population natin.

Totoo namang pinaglalaruan lang ang condom sa probins.

Kung ayaw nila ang artifical birth control, di bigyan ng edukasyon ang mga kababaihan na kung ayaw nilang manganak, ihulog nila yong kanilang asawa sa bintana tuwing ito ay gustong makitalik.

Ang mahirap sa ating mga opisyales ay hindi umaamin ng kanilang kamalian bagkus dinadaan nila sa tampo, sa people power at sa paghihingi ng public apology.

Ah ewan ko sainyo, dapat sainyo, bigyan ng lollipop.Masahol pa ang mga batang makukulit.

Hmpph.

The Ca t

Si Pinay at ang Maalala Mo Kaya

Dear Mouse,

Napanood ko ang The Correspondents kung saan tinatalakay ang mga Pinoy sa Hapon. Dito naman kay Pinay ay ang buhay sa Amerika. Kumain at umiyak sa kanyang mga kuwento.

The Ca t

Coffee, Tea or Meilk

DearMouse,

One of my multiple personalities. bwahahaha

Cor blimey, I taste like Tea. I am a subtle flavour, quiet and polite, gentle, almost ambient. My presence in crowds will often go unnoticed. Best not to spill me on your clothes though, I can leave a nasty stain. What Flavour Are You?

via Doc Emer.

The Ca t

Si Pinay at ang Soap Opera

Dear Mouse,

Pakituro nga ang daan pauwi ni Pinay.

The Ca t

Sassy Lawyer (NOT)meets Radical Chef(NOT)

Dear Mouse,

You've met Radical Chef (NOT) already. Sassy would like to strangle her when she meets her in person. Wait 'till she meets Sassy Lawyer(NOT).

Radical Chef(NOT) was deposed by Sassy Lawyer(NOT)) regarding the case of the missing husband.

Sassy Lawyer(NOT): All your responses must be oral, OK?

Where are you from ?

Radical Chef(NOT): Oral.

Cat sez: BOINKKKK

Pasensiya na kayo, walang pics eh, sound na lang.

-----------------------------------------

Sassy Lawyer(NOT) :What is your date of birth?

Radical Chef (NOT) July fifteenth.

Sassy Lawyer(NOT) : What year?

Radical Chef (NOT): Every year.

Cat sez: TOINKKKK

---------------------------------

Sassy Lawyer(NOT):Is this your first marriage ?

Radical Chef(NOT): No.

Sassy Lawyer(NOT): How was your first marriage terminated?

Radical Chef(NOT): By death.

Sassy Lawyer(NOT): And by whose death was it terminated?

Cat sez: POINKKKK

-----------------------------------------

Sassy Lawyer(NOT):You have three children, right?

Radical Chef(NOT): Yes.

Sassy Lawyer(NOT): How many were boys?

Radical Chef(NOT): None.

Sassy Lawyer(NOT): Were there any girls?

Cat sez: KOINKKKK

Sassy Lawyer(NOT):So when you woke up, your husband is gone?

Radical Chef(NOT): Yes

Sassy Lawyer(NOT):Did he tell you where he is going?

Cat sez: SOINKKKK

------------------------------------------

Sassy Lawyer(NOT):Last night what was his last words ?

Radical Chef(NOT):Goodnight Pumpkin, and I got upset

Sassy Lawyer(NOT): And why did that upset you?

Radical Chef(NOT):Because that is not my name.

Cat sez: POINKKKK

------------------------------------------

Sassy Lawyer(NOT):Are you sure he has not called you by that name?

Radical Chef(NOT): I am not sure,I am taking a pill that affects my memory.

Sassy Lawyer(NOT): And in what ways does it affect your memory?

Radical Chef(NOT): I forget.

Sassy Lawyer(NOT): You forget. Can you give us an example of something that you've forgotten?

Cat sez: COINKKKK

------------------------------------------

Sassy Lawyer(NOT):Can you describe this individual who came yesterday to meet your husband ?

Radical Chef NOT): He was about medium height, has a beard and is bald.

Sassy Lawyer(NOT):Was this a male, or a female?

Cat sez: GOINKKKK

------------------------------------------

Sassy Lawyer(NOT):Is your appearance here this morning pursuant to a deposition notice which I sent to your attorney?

Radical Chef(NOT):No, this is how I dress when I go to work.

Cat sez: HOINKKKK

------------------------------------------

The next deposition was with the PCathologist.

Sassy Lawyer(NOT): doctor, how many autopsies have you performed on dead people?

PCathologist: All my autopsies are performed on dead people.

--------------------------------------------------

Sassy Lawyer(NOT): Do you recall the time that you examined the body?

PCathologist : The autopsy started around 8:30 p.m.

Sassy Lawyer(NOT): And Mr. Costner was dead at the time?

PCathologist : No, he was lying there on the table wondering what I am doing.

> --------------------------------------------------------

Sassy Lawyer(NOT): : Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a pulse?

PCathologist : No.

Sassy Lawyer(NOT): Did you check for blood pressure?

PCathologist : No.

Sassy Lawyer(NOT): Did you check for breathing?

PCathologist : No.

Sassy Lawyer(NOT): So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when you began the autopsy?

PCathologist : No.

Sassy Lawyer(NOT): How can you be so sure, Doctor?

PCathologist : Because his brain was already dead and removed.

Sassy Lawyer(NOT): But could the patient have still been alive, nevertheless?

PCathologist : Yes, it is possible that he could have been alive and practicing law.

The Ca t

Si Pinay sa LA downtown

Dear Mouse,

May naliligaw na Pinay. Dito po siya nakatira.

The Ca t

Kung Meron ngang Karma

Dear Mouse,

May salawikain tayo na :

Kung ano ang itinanim, iyon din ang aanihin.

Sana ang may kagagawan nang karumal-dumal na krimen na pagpatay sa mga bata ay dumanas nang karamdaman kung saan kailangan nilang palitan ang bahagi ng kanilang katawan at sana ay wala silang makuha.

Basahin ang balita at maging silbing babala. Sabay-sabay nating sila ay isumpa.

5 dead kids: organs missing

By Christine F. Herrera

Corpses of children, their organs carved out of their bodies, dumped by the roadside.

Two schools on red alert. A province caught in a wave of panic.

This is not Mexico or Latin America, where organ harvesting has been a practice for decades now. This is right here.

Residents of Nueva Ecija are gripped by fear after five children who were allegedly snatched and reported missing later turned up dead, their internal organs and eyes missing.

Ranging in age from three to 12 years old, the victims were dumped in separate incidents in Gapan, Sto. Niño, San Lorenzo, Sta. Rosa and San Leonardo towns in Nueva Ecija — their bodies “harvested” of their heart, kidneys, and liver. In one case, the eyes were gouged. Cash in opened stomach In another, P7,000 in cold, hard cash was inserted in the stomach cavity, slit wide open.

Modus operandi

Last Friday, an unsuccessful attempt was made on a one-year-old child. It was unsuccessful because the community was alerted to the suspected kidnapper, identified as Ricardo Yumson, whom they pounced on.

Gapan authorities later released Yumson, claiming he was demented and not responsible for his actions.

“We were told that this is the modus operandi of members of the syndicate if caught — they either feign ignorance or act crazy so that lawmen would believe they are not responsible.”

As a result, residents feel the police are not to be trusted.

“We cannot rely on the police, so we decided to go straight to media,” Fabito said.

The Ca t sez:

Pag kumakain kaya ang mga taong ito, hindi kaya nila naiimagine na ang kinakain nila ay parte ng katawan ng tao ? Pumapatay sila para mabuhay na masagana. Talo pa nila ang drakula. Sabay sabay nating sabihin, magsuka sana kayo puso ng tao, atay ng tao at putol-putol na bituka ng tao. Pweh kayo.

The Ca t

Para kay Prem Rara

Dear Mouse,

Sinusoporthan ni Prem ang FOSS upang makapagtipid ang Pilipinas.

Mukha yatang matata"foss" ang kaniyang dakilang hangarin na ating samantalahin ang libreng sistema para tayo makatipid.

As usual ang kontrabida ay ang mga may pera at ang gustong magkapera.

May salawikain tayo na:

Kung nasaan ang asukal, naruon ang langgam.

Lintek na mga "langgam" yan, dapat hulihing isa-isa at painumin ng ant killer.

Ito ang balita:

DepEd unveils P25.3-M LAN project, sets up Microsoft IT labs for teachers

On the other hand, the IT laboratory deal it forged with Microsoft Philippines is part of the software maker’s Partners In Learning program where investments in software and services as well as a $250-million cash grant will be given to deliver IT skills and to assist in ICT integration in the curricula in the next five years.

The Ca t

Buhay Amerika-Doktor na Nars -Babala

Dear Mouse,

May kasabihang:Ano man ang gagawin, makapitong isipin.

Nguni't kung ang buhay ng tao ang nakataya, mag-iisip pa kaya ang isang magaling na doktor nanakasuot ng uniporme ng nars ?

3 nurses deported from US

Three nurses were recently deported from the United States for being themselves — doctors. Iloilo Rep. Janet Garin said the nurses were behaving like doctors, which they used to be before taking up nursing.

“Filipinos are inherently intelligent. They were not being forward; they really are good. It’s just that under pressure and in emergencies, they give away their true nature — they’re doctors first before they are nurses. Once a doctor, always a doctor,” Garin said. She withheld their names.

One of the Filipino nurses was assigned to the graveyard shift when a patient was rushed to the emergency room after suffering a heart attack.

“There was no doctor around so the Filipino nurse, who was a very good doctor in Manila, moved quickly, trying to resuscitate the patient. He started giving instructions to his fellow nurses and told them what to do,” Garin recounted. The patient survived, but instead of being commended for his skill, the ex-doctor was accused of usurping the powers of the hospital’s resident doctors. “He was told never to do the job of a doctor again because he was hired there as a nurse, not as a doctor,” Garin said.

The Ca t sez:

May isa pang kasabihan na ang pag-papaalala ay mabuti sa taong nakakalimot.

1. Sa Estet,iba ang kultura. Bago ang puwet ng iba,puwet muna nila ang kanilang poprotektahan. Marahil natatakot ang ospital na ulitin ng nars-doktor ang pagliligtas ng buhay ng tao at siya ay mabigo. Takot ang ospital na mademanda ng malpractice. Karamihan sa mga doctor nila ay may insurance.

2. Ang Puti kailanman ay hindi papayag mamayagpag ang Kayumanggi lalo na kung sila ay nasapawan. Wala silang pakialam kung yon ay sa ikabubuti ng mga nilalang o kaya ng kumpanya.

3.Pag nagtatrabaho sa Estet,sundin kung ano ang nakasaad sa job description. Wala silang pakialam kung ikaw ay nagta- trabaho ng labis-labis.

Ang Pusa ay nahirati rin sa Pilipinas na maglutas ng problema kung kinakailangan. Sa kaniyang mga trabaho na kasama ang mga Puti, nakakalimot din siya na hindi niya kailangang gawin yon dahil sa hindi sakop ng kaniyang trabaho. Sa halip na tingnan ito sa pananaw na isa kang empleyado na maaasahan, ito ay magiging babala sa kanila na isa kang panganib para sa kanilang pananatili sa kumpanya.

Pahabol

Huli na nang makita ko na ang balita ay nanggaling kay Garin ang kongresistang nagsusulong ng batas upang panatilihin ang nars at doktor sa Pilipinas ng tatlong taon bago payagang maghanap ng trabaho sa labas ng ibang bansa.

Hindi ko sinasabing gawa-gawa ni Garin ang balitang ito, pero tila yata wala akong nabalitaang ganitong kaso sa Estet.

Ang ganitong mga kaso ay hindi maaaring makaligtas sa balita sa mga pahayagan dito sa Estet.

Kung gawa-gawa niya ang balita upang maisulong niya ang batas, ito ang dapat niyang malaman:

1. Hindi basta-basta nakakaalis ng mga nars o doctor sa bansa dahil pagkatapos nilang grumaduate, sila ay nagboboard pa kaya mahigit na anim na buwan ding itong kanilang bubunuin. Para makapunta sa US,sila ay kailangang magtake ng CGFNS na karaniwan ang paghihintay mula sa aplikasyon at sa pageksam ay mahigit na isang taon.

2.Ang pagproceso ng papel nila para makalipad ay mahigit na isang taon o dalawang taon.

3.May batas na noon tungkol sa pagpigil sa mga narses na lumabas ng bansa ngunit sa pagdami marahil ng mga narses sa bansa na walang trabaho atkung magktrabaho man ay di nursing,ito ay pinawalang bisa.

4. Ang pagbutihin nila ay ang patuloy na pagbigay ng magandang edukasyon sa mga narses at ang mga bagong gagraduate sa tulong ng mga balikbayan na mga narses.

5. Alamin ang stats tungkol sa bilang ng mga narses na umaalis at mga gumagraduate.

6. Dapat alamin ni Garin kung ano ang ibig sabihin ng law of demand and supply. Baka gusto niyang iparepeal.

The Ca t

Ang Pagsasabi ng Tapat-Kasabihan

Dear Mouse,

Kasabihan: Ang pagsasabi raw ng tapat ay pagsasama ng maluwat.(kung minsan)

Si Mrs. Cruz ay naghahanda ng matulog nang madaan siya sa harap ng kaniyang tokador.

Napabuntonghininga siya habang tinitingnan ang sarili sa salamin.

Mrs.Cruz:Alam mo,mahal(asawa niyang nakahiga sa kama at nagbabasa).Marami na pala akong "wrinkles", sa mukha;ang dibdib ko ay laylay; ang aking mga puwetan ay bagsak na. Palagay ko kailangan ko nang pumunta kay Vicky Belo. Tumatanda na ako. Anong masasabi mo ?

Mr. Cruz: tumatanda ka man, malinaw pa rin ang mga mata mo.

Patalastas: May misang gaganapin sa simbahan ng Sta.Cruz at ang libing ni Mr. Cruz ay sa Linggo.

The Ca t

Buhay Amerika-Anak ng Pating 2

Dear Mouse,

Ikalawang punta ko ay noong Huwebes. Iyon ay para ipakita ang kaniyang bagong mga furniture na kinuha niya sa credit na puwedeng simulang bayaran sa taong 2006 pa.

Oo,Birhinya, puwede mong punuin ng mamahaling gamit ang iyong bahay sa pamamagitan ng plastic na card. Ganyan kung paano ka patayin sa stress ng Credit card dito.

Una kong napansin ay ang pintong paakyat sa bahay. Sinabi kong masama ang kutob ko. Kung puwedeng sarhan niya yon kahit sarado ang garahe. Tumawa siya, sabi niya sa bigat ng mga furniture niya, hindi nanakawin yon.

Biyernes, tumawag siya. Ninakawan sila.

Para sa onli in the United Estet, ang mga basura ay nasa garahe habang Ang mga kotse ay nakaparada sa labas.

Hindi yon ang unang nakaw. Ikalawang araw nang paglipat nila ay nanakaw ang lumang kotseng Toyota ng kaniyang asawa. Winarningan ko siya sa kotseng Toyota. Madaling mabuksan. Toyota ang kotse ko sa Pinas at ang una kong kotse dito sa Estet.

Yan ang paboritong chop chop hindi lang yong inismuggle sa Pinas kung hindi yong mga binibenta sa mga second hand parts ng kotse. Kaya kung kailangan mo ng pinto ng kotse, maari kang bumili ng second hand, at hindi na kailangan ang magparepair ng sirang pinto. Siguruhin lang na parehong kulay ng kotse.

Nabawi ang kotse. Hmmmm medyo malabo ang kuwento niya. Ito ang masama sa nagpapanood ng mga reruns ng Matlock, Murder She Wrote, Perry Mason at Law and Order. Masyado akong mapaghinala.

Hatinggabi nawala sa harap nila ang kotse. Alasiyete, inireport ng kaibigan ko. Sabi ng pulis, may nakita silang kotseng nakaparada sa apartment complex na ganoon ang plate number.Ang tanong bakit nila kinuha ang plate number ng isang kotseng nakaparada sa Apartment complex? Alam ba nilang nakaw ito? Ano sila si Madam Auring ?

To cut the story short, nabawi ang kotse na may mga gamit ng babae.

Pagkatapos ng ilang araw, sabi ng pulis, babae raw ang nagnakaw. Tinanong ko kung hinarap nila ang nagnakaw kung nahuli.Hindi na raw. Labo noh. Tinanong ko kung nawawala ang asawa niya pag hatinggabi? Huwag makipaglaro ang isip ninyo sa akin.Hmppph.

Ikalawang pagnanakaw. Yong kotseng ulit na iyon. Pero hindi dinala. Kinuha lang ang stereo, cd at ang mga tools at ang remote control ng garahe.Yon ang sinasabi ko. Kung nanakawin ang kotse, itutuloy na ito sa chop- chop buyer o kaya ay gagamitin as get-away car at iaabandona sa daan. Hindi nakaparada sa isang apartment complex.

Nabuksan ang garahe ng kalahati. Alas dose, dumating ang aking kaibigan galing sa trabaho. maaring napasok sila kung hindi siya dumating.

Sabi ko, siguro pag gabi ay maraming mga magnanakaw na nakaabang doon. Hindi man sila mapasok, maari rin silang maholdap habang bumababa sila sa kotse.

Leksiyon: Bago bumaba sa kotse, luminga-linga muna.

Bago umakyat ng bahay, check-in ang garahe, baka may nakatagong magnanakaw.

Kung maari, huwag iwan ang remote control ng garahe sa kotse na madaling buksan.

Panghuli, check-in ang asawa pag hatinggabi kung nawawala.

Baka bumili ng midnight snack at naiwan ang kotseng nakabukas.

Ano ba ang iniisip ninyo?

The Ca t

Buhay Amerika-Anak ng Pating

Dear Mouse,

Dapat sana ay isulat ko ito sa Pinaysaamerika ko pero seryoso ang aking mensahe upang magbigay ng babala sa mga Pinoy na nakatira at titira sa Estet.Mahaba ang kuwento kaya may part 2.

Nakabili ng bahay ang aking kaibigan dalawang buwan na ang nakalipas.Mahigit $ 800,000, ang halaga,three bedrooms at isang in-law. (kuwarto sa garahe). Malaki ang garahe.Kasya ang dalawang kotse. Kulang-kulang na $ 4,000 isang buwan ang bubunuin nila. Kahit na ang upang ibinibigay ng kaniyang ina sa halagang $ 700 isang buwan sa kuwarto sa garahe, malaki pa rin ang babayaran,kaya dalawa-dalawa na ang trabaho nila at ang pangkaraniwang uwi ay ala una ng madaling araw. OO, Birhinya, walang kapakapatid, walang ina-ina.Magbayad ka ng upa, dahil kailangan.

Anak ng pating na bahay yan, binili para tirhan, pero halos hindi naman nila matulugan.

Kung iniisip ninyo na malaki at maganda ang bahay sa halagang $800,000,nagkakamali kayo. Artificial ang demand ngayon sa real estate, isa dahil sa dami ng mga bumibiling mga narses na Filipino at ikalawa mababa ang interest rate.

Parang kagaya rin ng boom ng Silicon Valley.

Parang ginto ang halaga ng bahay at ng kotse para sa mga techies na may mga malalaking sweldo at mga stock options. Tuwing tataas ang mga stock market prices, ang mga Silicon Valley tech brats ay bumibili ng mga bagong mamahaling kotse. Inoorder pa nila ng advance.Hindi nila narealize na paper gain lang ang kinita nila sa stocks dahil hanggang hindi ito naibebenta, ito ay pangako lang ng kayamanan ang hawak nila.

Nang bumagsak ang tech boom, naabandona at nailit ang mga bahay. May mga techies na tumira sa camper, yong iba naging homeless at yong iba ay sa kuwarto na lang nakatira.

Pero hindi yan ang kuwento. Mahal din ang bahay dahil sa lugar. Pag may mga itim,mura ang bahay.

Dating lugar ng mga Puti ang lugar na nabilhan nila. Mula nang bilhin ng mga Pinoy ang mga bahay doon sa hindi kapanipaniwalang presyo, nawala na ang mga Puti. Ayaw nilang kapitbahay ang mga Pinoy.Isa dahil mahilig ang Pinoy sa karaoke pag weekend at pagluto ng ihaw-ihaw. Ikalawa, mas maganda ang kotse ng mga Pinoy na Nakaparada sa labas.

Dalawang beses na akong nakarating sa bahay ng aking kaibigan. Una nang balak nilang bilhin.

Ayaw ko.Dahil hindi isinasama ang pangalan niya ng kaniyang mga co-maker/buyer.Sabi ko sa kaniya, ano siya baliw?

Magbabayad siya tapos hindi kasama ang pangalan niya.

May mga ginagawa kasi dito ang mga real estate agents na kahit hindi mo kayang bumili ng bahay ay makakabili ka kahit walang down payment. Kung may isang kakilala, kamag-anak na handang maging co-owner/co-equity dahil sa dagdag sa income para magqualify sa loan puwedeng bumili ng bahay. Kung walang ipang dadown, idagdag ang dapat nilang idown kasama ang mga gastos sa pagbili ng bahay sa principal loan kasama pa ang ibang kaya ang bahay na mahigit kalahating milyon lamang ay umaabot sa mahigit Walong daanglibo.

Ano ang nakukuha ng co-maker-owner kung hindi naman sila titira doon? Pagkatapos ng dalawang taon at tumaas ang halaga ng bahay, tumaas din ang equity nila.Walang puhunan pero may tubo.

Isinama ang pangalan niya. Hindi nakatanggi yong kaniyang asawa.Sabi ko,kung makakalusot lang yan. Inuutakan siya. Walang masyadong pinag-aralan ang kaibigan ko, kaya madaling mapaniwala. Ayaw ko pa rin ang bahay. Maliit lang ang kinikita nilang mag-asawa.

Itutuloy

The Ca t

Kinunot na Pating

Dear Mouse,

Bago ang lahat, tenk yu kay Mike Aquino sa link niya sa smilies cat.

Para namang nadaya ko yong naghanap ng kinunot na pating sa google at lumabas ang aking Now What Cat.

Kaya, ibibigay ko ang recipe ng kinunot na pating mula sa natatandaan kong resipe ng aking lolo. May baklad siya noon sa probins kaya every now and then, may naliligaw Na mga apo ni Jaws.

Mga kailangan sa Kinunot na pating

Isang malaking lata ng gata ng niyog

Dalawang maliit na apo ni Jaws ( siguro mga one foot lang ang size dahil kung mas malaki baka nakakain na ng kamay ng tao. Ngiii

Bawang

Paminta (yong malalaki)

Asin

Suka (isang tasa)

Dahon ng malunggay

Luya

Palambutin ang nilinis na apo ni Jaws. Huwag bibiyakin o puputol-putulin. Saka na kayo gumanti.

Pag kakaunti na lang ang tubig, ilagay ang isang tasang suka at hayaang maluto ang pating sa suka. Buti nga sa kanila. Pang-alis daw ito ng lansa.

Hanguin. Himayin na parang kinukurot ang pating na pinakuluan. Buti nga saiyo, buti nga saiyo.

Initin ang ¾ ng lata ng gata ng niyog sa isang kawali. Maglagay ng bawang na pinitpit . Pamintang pinitpit din. Kumuha ng palu-palo at hampasin ng hampasin ang luya Hanggang ito ay maging flat.

Ilagay sa nilalagang pating. Buti nga sa kanila.

Pag kumukulo ng kaunti ang gata ay ihulog ang hinimay na apo ni Jaws habang inuusal ang buti nga sainyo.

Haluin, hanggang tuyo-tuyo na ang gata. Ihalo ang natitirang Gata . Timplahan ng asin . Tikman. Pweh. Ipagpatuloy ang pagluto na mahina na ang apoy. Pay medyo tuyo na ilagay ang dahon ng malunggay. Mapait ito pag-overcooked.

Patuyuin ng kaunti ang gata.

Luto na.

Ilagay sa pinggan.Pagkakataon mo nang kainin ang pating dahil kung ikaw ang kakainin, di ka na lulutuin.

Kumuha ng beer.

Ano Tagay na mga pre.

The Ca t

The Cat’s CAT goes to …

Dear Mouse,

You are a darling of the media if you are controversial. You make news. You sell news for them. The Cat decided to award a personality that she thinks is controversial.

C-stands for controversial

A-Award

T-rophy

The Cat’s CAT goes to …

Presenting the two contenders:

Ex-President Fidel Ramos

FVR:Bilisan ninyo ang tanong, gusto kong pumunta sa comfort room.Ayos na ba ang buhok ko ?

1. For fixing his hair to look pogi during the Senate Hearing

2. For having an "impromptu" press conference after the hearing

Senator Miriam Defensor Santiago

Miriam:Bilisan mo ang sagot at may naghihintay na mga reporters sa akin.

1. When she walked out from the hearing

2. When she had a press conference after the walk-out. Talking about timing.

And the winner is

Imelda Romulaldez

May tatalo pa ba naman sa akin?

1. When she told the media that despite the 400 cases charged to the family, there was not one conviction.

2. When she told the media that Marcos' medals made him a hero and therefore he deserved to be buried in the Libingan ng mga Bayani.

The Cat sez: Bakit yata wala silang reaction tungkol kay Analiza Josefa Marcos ?

The Ca t

Close Encounter with the TS and PS

Dear Mouse

This is the continuation of my Tech Support experience that should have been blogged in my choice cat.

Read on.

The techie was a young Chinese guy who looked like a high schooler with his old fashioned eyeglasses.

TS: Hmmmmmmm( he was testing my phone jack)

TS: Hmmmmmmm( He finished testing my phone jack.)

TS: Hmmmmmmm( he was testing my modem.)

TS: Hmmmmmmm( He finished testing my modem.)

TS: Hmmmmmmm( he was testing my network.)

TS: Hmmmmmmm( He finished testing my network.)

Then he acted as if he was looking for something.

Me: Anything wrong ?

TS: I could not find the small gadget attached to my tester.

Me: You dropped it ?

TS: May be but it's weird. It is not usually yanked out from the tester.

He started filling up a form, a job order and performance rating sheet. He dropped his pen.

TS: There it is.

Me: What ?

TS: The gadget that I was looking for. Funny, it was not there before. I searched for it all over.

He handed me the form for signature. After signing, I gave him back the papers and the pen.

Me:So what is wrong with my dsl ?

TS: I found nothing wrong. It's working now.

Me: But that is the way it is. It works for a few minutes, logs off for a few minutes and works again. Worse is when it is out for hours.

TS: I will put your line in 24 hour-watch and call you tomorrow for follow-up.

Btw, did you return the pen tome ?

Me: Yes, you were holding it while I was talking.

TS: I think so too, but it's gone.

He looked for it in his service bag, his pockets, the floor, the desk. It seemed it disappeared into thin air.

TS: "I better be going." He smoothed his uniform and exclaimed, " My nametag, it is gone."

Me: I just saw it hanging with your beeper in your waist band.

TS: Yeah, first time to lose it in my entire service with the company.

Me: If you dropped anything. The carpet is clutter-free, you can easily find it by retracing where you have been inside my house.

TS: But I have not moved an inch yet. I gotta go. I may be next to disappear.

I thought the TS met the PS.

My friends who have stayed in my place for over 24 hours have long suspected that I have a very playful tenant, they called PS. The Ps is the playful spirit whose tricks are to make things disappear, only to be found in places which have been already already turned upside down for the search; play with the TV and stereo, lights. Etc.

The old mother of my former boarder used to complain that she lost a lot of things,only to find them in the places which she had already searched thouroughly.

I had several experiences of this kind that when I am pissed off, I cry to the PS to stop it.

There was a bell chime. It was the techie. He handed me a piece of paper with scribbles of names, numbers and dates.

TS: It must have stuck in my back. It fell off when I got into the car. It must be something important.

Me: Thank you. Did you find what you lost ? I did not find them when I searched after you left.

TS: Never mind. They are replaceable. Someone must like them as souvenirs.

Funny and weird. The fist time he left, I walked him to the door and I saw his back. There’s nothing there.

Yeah someone must be collecting souvenirs. I thought I heard giggles..

The Ca t

Tech Support

Dear Mouse,

Me:Hello, it’s been 2 weeks that my dsl connection is giving me a hard time.

TS: (She sounded like she is from India) Wxctjhjht projhblem?

Me: I always lose my dsl connection.

TS: Wchjh wehjt kchj

Me: Sorry, did not get you.

TS: Djhgjh jhghfrt Whjghjh wksrt

Me: Ow, you want me to check with my phone company.

That was what I did and the phone company assured me that my phone lines are okay.

Me: Hello,my dsl connection did not get any better.

TS: Okay,let me get some data and run a test for you.

Me: Oh, I already did and the results showed that I should get a tech support.

TS: Alright then, I would get an alternative phone number just in case we are disconnected.

Me: 1234567

TS: I will just have to check on this and am afraid you have to hang up. I will call you when I am done.

Me: Okay

After a few hours, he called saying that the problem is fixed.

TS: It seemed that there was a repair done in your area and your line was affected. I will put you in 24 hour watch. Do call this direct number. If you use the trunk line, you might be directed to India.

After 2 days, the problem came back. The questions-and-answers-and-directions followed the same pattern as in the previous conversations with the TS. problem solved according to them.

Three days after, the problem was back. I lost the direct line for maintenance. It was in the post-it-note.

Me: Hell0…blah blah

TS: Wacjt watcjh twchj.

Me:Gwad, again?BLah blah

TS: Brtyhsj bkaje kajh

Me: You want me to pull the cable from the wall jack.

TS: Yeshjg

Pulled the cable. The phone went dead. @#$%^&How stupid of me. Of course, the

Dsl and the phone lines share the filter that is connected in my wall jack. He never even bothered to get an alternative phone number.

After a few hours, I called again.

Me: Hello, blah,blah

TS: A woman with a Chinese accent. I alleady fixed youl ploblem. This is our dilect line and asked fol extension two. You well dilected to India and they well not much of help.

Yesterday:

Me: Can somebody tell me what is going on.

My dsl connectivity problem keeps coming back.

TS: We are going to dispatch a tehnician to check your indoor lines and your network. If the problem is not line related there is going to be a charge.

Me: Whatever.

TS: If no tech comes to your house, call this direct number or else, they might referred you to India.

Amen and Hmmm what is this India @#$%?bashingjgj

I still prefer tech support originating from the Philippines.

They may sound like Americans but their friendliness Is very Filipino. Malakas lang akong mang-amoy.

Itutuloy

The Ca t

Pics via mycatshateyou.

Tagalog Idioms

Dear mouse,

Marahil mga istudyent ang napupunta sa aking site. Padala sila ng Google at Yahoo. Iba yong padala ng pinoyblog, sassy, tambay, mq3,doc emer,resty,jobert at ng iba pang referrers. Cinecheck ko ang mga searches ko sa aking sitemeter at marami ang naghahanap ng Salawikain, bugtong,at tagalog idioms.

Kaya bibigyan ko sila ng mga salawikain, bugtong at tagalog idioms (Walang tagalog ito) paunti-unti. Sa ngayon ay ang mga salitang may Dila.

bulaklak ng dila –

Tamang Tagalog : pagsasabi ng labis sa katotohanan

Tagalog na astig: Uber,uber.

Sa English:exaggerated (flower of the tongue)

Use bulaklak ng dila in a sentence:

Siya ay may bulaklak sa dila ng sabihin niyang angkagandahan ko raw ay katulad ng buwan.

The Ca t sez: Pitasin ang bulaklak na yan.Boinkkkk .Kailan pa naging maganda ang buwan. Hmmppp

matamis ang dila –

Tamang Tagalog: mahusay mangusap

Tagalog astig : bolero

English: sweet-tongued person

Use matamis ang dila in a sentence.

Matamis ang dila ng bago kong kakilala dahil sinabi niyang kahawig ko si Britney Spears.

The Cat sez: Palagay ko hindi dila niya ang matamis, Malabo lang ang Kaniyang mata.

makati ang dila –

Tamang Tagalog: madaldal,hindi makapagpigil magsalita tungkol sa kapwa

Tagalog astig : Taratitat, tsismakera, tsismosa

English: one with itchy tongue

Use makati ang dila in a sentence.

Makati ang dila ng movie reporter na gawa-gawa lang ang pagbubuntis ni Madam Auring.

The Ca t sez:

Are you talking to me ?

maanghang ang dila

Tamang Tagalog = kung magsalita ay hindi kanainais

Tagalog astig: bastos

English: spicy-tongued person

Use maanghang na dila in a sentence.

Maanghang ang dila ni Senador Miriam Santiago nang sinabi niyang, dapat isilya electrika ang mga taga NAPOCOR na nagbabaon sa atin sa utang.

The Ca t sez: Kailangan mapakain pa ng Bicol Express si Senadora. Hehehe

sanga-sangang dila –

Tamang Tagalog : hindi nagsasabi ng katotohanan

Tagalog astig: sinungaling/ layer ooops

English :liar

Use Sanga-sangang dila in a sentence.

Inakusahan ni Senador Miriam Santiago ang kaniyang karibal sa pulitika na si Fidel Ramos na may sanga-sangang dila tungkol sa Smokey Mountain low-Cost housing project.

The Ca t sez: Ang sanga-sangang daan ay nakaliligaw, sanga-sangang dila pa kaya?

kaututang dila –

Tamang Tagalog: kau-kausap

Tagalog astig: katsismisan

English: farting tongue

Use kaututang dila in a sentence.

Ang mga kaututang dila ng mga nag-aakusa kay Garcia ng GSIS ang nagsabi marahil Na umutang ito ng 12 million habang ang sweldo Niya sa isang buwan ay isangmilyon na.

The Cat sez: Sana ang mga kaututang dila ninyo ay magtae para lalong lumabas ang baho ng mga GOCC execs.

Hinayupak sila, ang mga karaniwang empleyado ay hirap na hirap mangutang sa GSIS.

matalas ang dila –

Tamang Tagalog: masakit mangusap

Tagalog astig: nang-aasar

English: sharp-tongued person

Use matalas ang dila in a sentence.

Sabi nila matalas daw ang dila ko.

The Ca t sez: Ah ganon, mahasa pa nga.

magdilang anghel –

Tamang Tagalog: - magkatotoo sana

Tagalog astig: Harinawa

English: Amen

Use magdilang anghel in a sentence.

Sabi ni Madam Auring doon sa movie reporter na sana ay magkaroon pa sila ng baby ng kaniyang 15 taong boyfriend ay magdilang anghel sana siya.

The Cat sez: Nasaan ang anghel na yan at maputulan ng dila. (hehehe, nagbibiro lang ho.)

The Ca t

Freeze------Women's Eggs

Dear Mouse,

May pag-asa na ang mga susunod sa tapak ni Madam Auring-ang magkaroon ng anak kahit matanda na.

NEW YORK (AP)Former tech executive launches company to freeze women's eggs

Christy Jones says her idea for a business to freeze women's eggs came when her own biological clock alarm rang at age 32.

It was 2002, and two of her close friends were having trouble getting pregnant. A new, much-publicized book contended that childless executives in their 40s had themselves to blame, for waiting too long to have a family.

Jones'contemplation of motherhood coincided witha need for a new project. A formerly high-powered tech executive, she hadgraced Forbes' cover three times before she was 30. But now the Internet boom was over.

So Jones founded Extend Fertility, which charges $15,000 US to freeze eggs for women 40 and under as a kind of biological insurance policy. The eggs can be implanted later, as ova quality drops dramatically after age 35 and is a chief cause of infertility. Some experts have doubts about the procedure, and about marketing it to target group - women in their 30s - that has strong emotions about fertility and might be easily exploited. Several prominent fertility specialists think it gives women a sense of security about postponing child bearing until their 40s that isn't justified by the technology's limited history and significant failure rate. And with only about 100 babies ever born worldwide from frozen eggs, experts say that is too few to judge if the procedure causes health defects.

The Cat sez:

Babae nga pala ang may itlog at hindi lalaki. Ang sa lalaki ay ang lalangoy-langoy na sperm na madaling mamatay. Ang itlog ay tumatagal ng ilang araw sa katawan ng babae.Sandali kailangang hintuan ko na ang pagsulat tungkol sa itlog ng babae at sperm ng lalaki.Baka mabato ako ng bugok na itlog.

May kasabihang:

Pag hindi itlog err ukol,hindi bubukol

Masamang impluwensiya ito si Batjay, panay itlog ang naiisip ko tuloy.

The Ca t

Malikmata

Dear mouse, Malikmata ay Tagalog para sa illusion. Namalikmata yata ako nang mabasa ko ito sa balita:

Ibrahim, of the Justice Ministry, said there was no link between the demands and the expected release of Rihab Rashid Taha on bail. Taha, a scientist who became known as "Dr. Germ" for helping Iraq make weapons out of anthrax, and Huda Salih Mahdi Ammash, a biotech researcher known as "Mrs. Anthrax," are the only two Iraqi women held in American custody, according to the U.S. military. Ibrahim said the decision had been made by Iraqi and coalition authorities, and officials were also considering whether to also release Ammash, a former member of the Baath party.

Pagkatapos nang ilangminuto,ito naman ang aking nabasa:

"The two women are in legal and physical custody of the multinational forces in Iraq and neither will be released imminently," a spokesman for the U.S. embassy said.

The Cat sez:

Toknana,press release lang may mga hindi pa nagkakasundo. Parang nakikita ko si RobertRedford sa SpyGame nang ipakiusap niya sa kaibigan niyang media na i-leak ang pagkakahuli ng Tsina kay Brad Pitt at mga ilang sandali lang ay may press release ang US Embassy na pinabubulaanan ang balita.

Sabi nga nang mahilig manood ng pelikulang Tagalog pag nakakita ng pangyayaring nakakapaalala sa kaniya ng pelikula...

Parang Sine...

May kasabihan nga tayo na ang makinig sa sabi-sabi---errrmmm tsismosa walang bait sa sarili?

Sowhatzuthink?

The Ca t

Benigno Aquino’s arrest-a page torn from history

Dear Mouse,

Today is the anniversary of Martial Law.

Many after-martial-law babies do not understand why many people hated the Marcoses.

Many do not know why people love Kris Aquino despite her sins and "scenes".

I watched the The Correspondents.

I saw old pictures of the Marcoses, a typical family—the father and the mother doting on their children. How I wished they had stayed that way. The last videos shown were the extravagant parties held in Malacanan and The Maharlika in honor of the jetset friends of the First Lady.

So Imelda used half of the World War 2 reparation fund in the construction of the CCP complex.

So the Dictator kept on borrowing and asking for US aids because of the threat of communism in the country.

I saw my “favorite Conrad de Quiroz”an author of a book about martial law. I haven’ read his book. I wonder if it tells about the Benigno Aquino’s arrest as told in the Conjugal Dictatorship.

A month before the declaration of martial law,he was already warned by former mayor Antonio Villegas. The Senator knew it was for real but he thought it was not yet time.

The nagging question was why Aquino did not flee when he received the confirmation minutes before he was going to be arrested. According to the book, he didn’t he follow the warnings of some people who offered some few minutes for Him to escape. The offerors were Juan Ponce Enrile, Tatad and Gatan.

One theory was that he did not want to become fugitive and the a second theory was he underestimated Marcos.

The few people whom Aquino spent his last few minutes as a free man were: Senate Majority Floor Leader Arturo M. Tolentino who at the last moment did not believe that a martial was declared.; Sonny Osmena, to whom Aquino broke the news that martial law had been declared;Ambrosio Padilla; Marcelino Veloso and Lorenzo G.Tevez.

They were at the Manila Hilton that night when Col. Romeo Gatan ( a protégée of the Senator himself handed to Sen.Aquino the arrest order signed by Enrile.

Aquino prevented his bodyguards from doing anything and he asked Gatan if he had any choice. After shaking hands with his colleagues, he went peacefully with the arresting officer.

The same scene was repeated when he was escorted out by the military personnel out of the plane that brought him back to the country.

The Ca t

Facts about Eggs-ang paborito ni Batjay

Dear Mouse,

May karapatang matigatig (mabagabag, hindi mapakali) si Batjay sa pagkawala ng mga itlog sa Singapore.

Ang walang itlog daw ay makakabulag.

Isang mahigpit na dahilan ay ang nasasaad sa balitang ito.

A compound in eggs has been found to help ward off macular degeneration, the leading cause of blindness in Australia.

Leutine, a plant chemical found in green leafy vegetables and egg yolks, helps protect the eye against damage from ultraviolet and other types of light, United States biochemist and nutrition researcher Dr Donald McNamara said.

The Cat sez:

Ibig sabihin ang mga lalaking walang itlog ...sa kaniyang diet (hindi pa tapos,noh) ay maaring mabulag.

FERTILE EGGS

Eggs which can be incubated and developed into chicks.

Fertile eggs may contain a small amount of male hormone, but there are no known advantages.

The Cat sez:

May isang intsik na may-ari ng restawran. Nagreklamo ang kaniyang chef. Wala raw pula ang itlog na galing sa kaniyang poultry.

Sinugod ng insik iyong mga manok sa poultry at galit na galit na:

Sabi ko sainyo, wala birth control.Tingnan ninyo, wala pula itlok ninyo.

Beverages from Egg

EGGNOG

A beverage of eggs, milk, sugar and flavoring. Rich cream may take the place of part or all of the milk. Spirits are often added at holiday time. Eggnog may be served hot or cold, but it should be prepared as a stirred custard.

The Cat sez: I still prefer Sarsi with egg.Sarap inumin. But I can not do it here in the States. Hindi puwedeng kainin ang itlog na hilaw. Maraming chemicals.

CANDLING

The step in grading that lets the egg grader look inside the egg without breaking it to judge its quality. Long ago this was done by holding the egg up before a candle but today most eggs pass on rollers over high-intensity lights which make the interior of the egg visible.

The Ca t sez:Dapat naman ano.Kung yong mga peeping tom ang maeempleyo sa trabahong yan.

EXPIRATION DATE

A date on an egg carton beyond which the eggs should not be sold

The Ca t sez:Oras na para basagin ang itlog.

The Ca t

Bar the New Bra's inventor

Dear Mouse,

From junsky...

breaking news

A scientist from Texas A&M University has invented a bra that keeps women's breasts from jiggling and prevents the nipples from pushing through the fabric when cold weather sets in. At a news conference announcing the invention, a large group of men took the scientist outside camp; kicked the shit out of him...

..tit.tit..tit..tit and now for the next news...

Disclaimer. Pinilit lang ho ako.

The Ca t

Home Alone

Dear Mouse,

I had my laptop reformatted. The files are all gone. It's not due to virus. I deleted something when I was reorganizing my file. The articles I have written for my week's blogs are all erased. So are the pics of the cats. Bohooohoo.

My TFC was also down yesterday,so I watched the story about the rise and fall of the 70's most popular TV three-lady detective- series---Charlies'Angels.

I learned the ff:

1. The former title chosen was ALLEY CATS. Kate Jackson suggested Charlie's Angels.

2. Its popularity was due to Farrah-Fawcett Majors, the wife of the bionic man-Lee Majors.

3. Aaron Spelling was able to build his mansion because of the TV series.

4. Kate Jackson never agreed to be exploited as a sexy/no-brainer/star.

5. Cheryl Ladd replaced Farrah.

Farrah who used to be famous as a beauty and award winning star is now a struggling artist with many horrible cosmetic surgeries.

That was a star of the 70's.

Not too long ago, we came to love a tot who was left behind by the vacationing family...Macaulay Culkin in Home Alone.

I found the name funny because in the Bicol region, it means, makausap.

Little did we know that he appeared in the New York stage at the age of four and was trained in a school of American ballet.

He became a commercial model in TV and later on his name became a by-word due to his Home Alone.

He was regarded as the Shirley Temple of the 90's.

Indeed he is.Just like Shirley,he married at a very young age with Rachel Miner. Just like Shirley Temple, he had a hard time dealing with awkward transition from a child performer to an adult actor.(Got a book about Shirley Temple that I gave to a friend's mom).

He was arrested with illegal drugs possession.

In the local entertainment, Yspeak first edition, the issue between education and movie career was tackled by the panelists.

Excuse me pero gusto kong sampalin yong Mystica doon. Sigaw ng sigaw.Tama ang sinabi ni Arnel Ignacio, "Kaya tayo magulang ay mas matanda sa ating mga anak ay dahil sa tayo ang magga-gabay sa kanila sa tama o mali.

At si Tuesday naman ay ang, "Ang edukasyon lang ang maipapamana sa akin ng aking magulang."

Sa aking pag reresearch ng mga old movie stars(burado lahat ang file na ginawa ko). aking nalaman na si Perla Adea at Romy Mallari--mga kasabay nina Nora Aunor at Tiro ay nagkaroon ng mga anak na lahat ay tapos na ng College.

Siguro kung tatanungin kung sino ang mas succesful sa buhay despite sa success ni Nora at sa perang kaniyang kinamal,mas masasabing mas maganda pa ang buhay ng dalawa niyang kasabay na nagtapos din sa kolehiyo.

Itatanong ninyo bakit artista ang mga topic ko?

Ang ekonomiya,pulitika at pag-aartista ay kailanman hindi magkakahiwalay.

Sabi nga ni Aaron Spelling, our viewers are poor,this fantasy makes them forget their misery even for just thirty minutes.

Kaya si Imelda noon,itinayo ang film center para sa mg FFF films, tinawag nilang experimental cinema. Sa bulgar na salita ay mga bomba movies upang makalimutan ng mga tao ang paghihirap.

The Ca t

Bits and pieces

Dear Mouse,

A python was found crawling near the Batasang Pambansa.

The Ca t sez: Make a head count to find out any missing Congressman. The clock must have struck 12 o clock before he was able to assume his human form.

A GOCC exec agreed to cut his half a million monthly salary to more than one half. That is only his taxable income. He did not touch his non-taxable perks and benefits amounting to 300,000 a month.

The Ca t sez: Papautang na loob pa.

One economic adviser of GMA commented that economy still okay when international financial institutions are still granting us credits.

The Ca t sez: As long as we are paying the interest and as long as the ofw send remittances to their relatives.

I watched the Dong Puno show about the issue on banning Nursing graduates from leaving the Philippines. I viewed the issue with the at the opportunities and threats in mind, so Shoe me. (translation:sapatusin mo ako o batuhin mo ako ng sapatos.

The Ca t sez: First the issue is a no-brainer.The demand for a professional service depends on the need by the community. Nursing care is needed by sick and infirm clients /market. What would the Philippines do with the teeming graduates of nursing schools, create a market in order to boost demand by having a sick community? Are they afraid that we will be running short of supply of nurses ? Are they kidding? With our growth in population and the uptrend in nursing enrollment in universities we are assured of supply forever.

One participant in the discussion commented that many fail the US nursing licensing exams because of the poor quality of graduates.

He has to take note that US is using its own standards in measuring the skills of the nurses graduating from foreign universities.

The Philippine nursing curriculum may require revisions in order to make it relevant and responsive to the needs of the market it caters.

First our nursing graduates are Bachelor’s degree holders; college graduates.

US has registered nurses who may have no Bachelor’s degree but have managed to pass the licensing exam because they have complied with the certification of having finished subjects required in the practise of nursing.

Our graduates are BSN degreeholders and Registered Nurses at the same time because the former is a requirement to take the licensing exam both in the Philippines and in the US.

Double standard? I like to believe that it is more of one of those protective labor policies that if one would deprived any of their graduates,a job opportunity, it should be one with a better qualification.

Even the Philippines does not allow foreigners to take the Professional Board Exams.

Now our nursing graduates are becoming better.

Some of them are doctors.

The Ca t

Bomba, FF, ST,TT and PP

Dear Mouse,

To see the pics of one of the "Baywalk" demonstrators click here, click entertainment sa may banner sa itaas. Then click Billy Balbastro's columnto see the other sexy stars.

If you fail to see the pic of Kat De Santos, puwede na siguro ito. CAT din siya na kapareho ng sexy pose ni Kat De S.

Jay David sent this piece of news to me thru Dr.Emer.

Topless women in T-backs send cops' tempers flaring.

EIGHT starlets paraded nearly naked in front of the Malate Church in protest against censorship.

The members of Bodies, said to be a counterpart of the Viva Hot Babes, jumped on to the ledge of a fountain outside the Malate Church clad only in skimpy underwear and transparent raincoats, causing a massive traffic jam as people gathered under the rain to gawk and cheer them.

When police arrived, the starlets stripped off their raincoats and bras, crossed the street and peacefully surrendered their undergarments to the flustered officers.

The starlets, who included Kat de Santos and Kuhdet Honasan, had appeared in a series of adult movies.

starlets were protesting a decision by SM Prime Holdings, the country's biggest mall operator, to stop showing adult films in its cinemas.

REWIND

It was bomba film in 1970 (1970-Sept. 1972); bold film, wet look stage (1974-1976); bold film, daring stage (1976-1982); FF (fighting fish film) films and pene films (1983-1986); ST or sex-trip film (1986-1992); and the TT films (1992-1998); and the PP films (1998-present).

The bomba stars in 1970 were:

1. Merle Fernandez -sister of Rudy Fernandez, the husband of Lorna Tolentino

2. Stella Suares- the mother of Richard Gomez, the Palibhasa Lalaki star/attempted to become a party-list congressman/served as hawi boy for the D' King Poe.

3.Rossana Marquez-any relation to the Marquezes?

4. Divina Valencia-mother of Dranreb or Dranreba?

5. Yvonne

The bold wet look stars were:

1. Gloria Diaz, the first Miss Universe- sister of Rio Diaz, another beauty titlist and now the wife of Charlie Cojuangco.

2. Elizabeth Oropesa-a well known Marcos loyalist. Married and divorced a Chinese martial arts movie star. Still active.

3.Daria Ramirez-the ex-wife of Joey De Leon of Eat Bulaga and the mother of Kempee de Leon (I did not know that she was a bold star)

4. Alona Alegre-a half sister of Philip Salvador, the ex of Kris Aquino and the defendant of the suits by Decena and Co.

The FF and pene bold stars were:

The FFstars:

1. Isabel Lopez- a UP student ? graduate? She was interviewed recently and she is a stay-home mom who is into painting.

2. Ana Marie Gutierrez-who she ? any relation to the Gutierrezes?

The pene stars werethe Amerisian beauties known as the soft drinks movie stars:

1. Pepsi Paloma-was she the one who committed suicide and was a rape victim of the famous three noontime emcees ?

2. Coca Nicolas-no info

3. Sarsi Emmanuel -she was recently intervewed working as a laundrywoman?

4. Brandy Ayala-She was committed to an institution recently as per request by the mother.

5. Claudia Zobel-no info

The ST film stars were:

1. Gretchen Barreto-ex-wife of Joey Loyzaga and now the Queen of Tonyboy Cojuangco

2. Rita Avila

TT film stars were:

1. Rosanna Roces

2. Alma Concepcion

3. Rita Magdalena

PP film stars were:

1. Joyce Jimemez

2. Patricia Javier

3. Ina Raymundo

4. Klaudia Koronel

What about Lorna Tolentino and Rio Locsin ? Were they not sexy stars too?

(Most of the data here were derived from Bulatlat. The rest were from informal interviews with people who know something about the sexy stars included in the list).

The Ca t

The Ca t's KataQuote

Dear Mouse,

This one is for In fraternam meam’s collections of Melanie Marquez katakotaquotes.

In Yesterday’s episode of Victim’s Undercover, Melanie Marquez was asked to dive and rescue a dummy from under water. After diving and rescuing the dummy., she said, “Hirap talaga. Ang bigat noong DAME (dummy) kahit na nga may gurgle (goggles) ako”.

Some of quotable quotes of Melanie are shown below. The rest you can find here.

(At a talk show after her break up with Derek Dee, Melanie was aked if she had some words for Derek's mother, whom she partly blamed for the separation)

"Oo nga", said Melanie,"pero I-Enlish-in ko para maintindihan niya." Then Melanie looked into the camera and, with the peremptoriness of royalty, she said, "And to you, Mrs Dee, I have two words for you. Ang labo mo!".

When asked for a message to her daugher who was allegedly abused by their houseboy: "Dont worry little angel, big angel is here".

On what they should do to the houseboy who molested her kid:"He should be put behind bar". You can fool me once, you can fool me twice, you can fool me thrice, but you can never fool me four".

While waiting backstage during the noontime show, after watching Nikki Valdez do her dance number."Nikki, you're so galing. You should go to the states. You will sell hotcakes".

The Ca t

The Meaning of the Card s

Dear Mouse,

My mom was a fan of Johnny (Lundagin mo Baby) De Leon . I have never asked my mom why the monicker, "Lundagin mo. "To her, he was the Noli Boy De Castro of today; associated with the masa, loved and idolized by the masa. From the biography of Vice-President de Castro, I read that he was a protegee of the late broadcaster.

What made my mom listened to Johnny de Leon was not the news before supper but it was the angelus. Sometimes she was so busy to prepare dinner that she forgot the time. It was her habit to stop and pause for prayer at six o' clock.

She had mentioned to me about the Cards Spiritualized recited during Angelus. She requested me to look for a copy. I did not know what to look for. But the search continued even when she was gone. Last month, I was lucky, I found it. But then I need playing cards to go with the blog.

This is it:

Richard Middleton, was a soldier who was brought to the mayor for playing cards during church service. Before the Mayor and the magistrates, Richard drew out his pack of cards and said:

"'When I see an Ace, may it please your honour, it reminds me that there is only one God;

and when I look upon a Two, it puts me in mind of the Father and Son;

and when I look upon a Three, it puts me in mind of the Father, Son, and Holy Ghost;

A Four calls for remembrance the Four Evangelists, Matthew, Mark, Luke, and John

A Five, the five wise Virgins who were ordered to trim their lamps; there were ten, indeed, but five, your worship may remember, were wise, and five were foolish.

A Six, that in six days God created heaven and earth.

A Seven, that on the seventh day he rested from all that he had made.

An Eight, of the eight righteous persons preserved from the deluge; viz., Noah, and his wife, with his three sons and their wives

A Nine, of the Nine lepers cleansed by our Saviour; there were ten, but only one returned to offer his tribute of thanks

And a Ten, of the ten commandments that God gave Moses, on Mount Sinai, on the two tablets of stone.'

When I see the Queen, it puts me in mind of the Queen of Sheba, who came from the furthermost parts of the world to hear the wisdom of Solomon, for she was as wise a woman as he a man, for she brought fifty boys and fifty girls, all clothed in girls' apparel to show before King Solomon, for him to test which were boys and which were girls,--but he could not until he called for water to wash themselves; the girls washed up to their elbows, and the boys only up to the wrists of their hands, so King Solomon told by that.

And when I see the King, it puts me in mind of the great King of Heaven and Earth, which is God Almighty."

The soldier then continued as follows;

"When I count the number of dots in a pack of cards, there are 365, --so many days as there are in a year.

When I count how many cards are in a pack, I find there are 52, --so many weeks are there in a year.

When I reckon how many tricks are won by a pack, I find there are 13, --so many months are there in a year.

So that this pack of cards is both Bible, Almanack, and Prayer Book to me."

The Ca t sez, "What happened to the Jacks?"

The Ca t

Si Madam Auring, Si Xp, Si Prem at si Gelo Ancheta

Dear Mouse,

Isa na lang at pantay na si Madam Auring kay Patricia Evangelista sa dami ng hits sa aking blog. Marami ang nagtataka siguro kung sino si Madam Auring. Maraming e-mail sa akin galing sa mga old timers na rito sa Estet ang nagtatanong tungkol sa Madam na ito. Ito ang kaniyang retrato pagkatapos ng 1001 surgeries ala Michael Jackson.

Dati po siyang kapitbahay ng aking tiya sa Sampaloc. Dati siyang beautician na pinagkalooban daw ng power para makita ang kapalaran ng isang tao.

Isa sa mga marketing strategy niya ay hikayatin ang mga nagpapatrim, etc. na magpahula sa kaniya. Sabi ng aking tiya ay sumisingil siya ng 150 pesoses habang ang mga iba ay 20 pesoses lang. Ang ibig sabihin nito ay binigyan niya ito ng mataas na value dahil sa marketing, kahit magaling ang producto, kung hindi mo ito ipopromote at hindi mo bibigyan ng value ay hindi ito papansinin. Lalo kung ang mga consumers ay inassociate ang quality sa price.

Katulad din nyan ng kuwento ng isang ambulant vendor sa Quiapo. Iyong isang producto niya ay prenesyohan niya ng 10 pesoses. Parehong productong inilagay sa plastic at sa box, prenesyohan niya ng 50 pesoses, mas mabili yong 50.

Kagaya rin niyan sa pinag-uusapan nina XP, Prem at ni Gelo na FOSS.

Sabi ni Xp, ang quality ng producto ang kusang magbebenta nito. "FOSS stands on its own and its adoption by companies are purely based on merit and quality." Ano word of mouth or endorsemet ?

Ang idea naman ni Gelo ay ang user-friendliness ng producto at ang after sales tech support.

The Ca t sez: Pag libre o mura hindi pinapansin.

Yan ang kaibahan ng marketing person at ng techie. Ang una ay makakabenta ng memorial lot sa buwan, samantalang ang huli ay hindi makakabenta kahit na gaano kagaling ang kaniyang producto.

Maraming invention na magagaling ang hindi nailulunsad sa market hindi dahil sa hindi sa magaling sila kung hindi dahil papatay sila ng productong nasa market na.

Hindi sapat ang ilaunch lang ang bagong producto. Kailangan ding protektahan ang market share nito. Dito nagkakaroon ng mga concessions sa mga users. Dito maraming donations ang Microsoft ng mga computers para sa mga iskool at libraries all over the world. Ang kaniyang billion dollar na charitable foundation ay di nagpapakain ng mga nagugutom, kung hindi namimigay ng mga producto o kaya ng mga grant na sa bandang huli ang kanilang kumpanya rin ang makikinabang.

Balik tayo kay Madam Auring. Ang staying power ni Madam Auring ay hindi ang kaniyang mga prediksiyon kung hindi ang kaniyang publicity na karamihan ay negative. Wala naman siyang positive publicity kasi.

Ang sigarilyo man kahit demarketing ang ginagamit, mabili pa rin.

Balik ulit tayo kay Madam Auring.

Hinulaan niyang mananalo si GMA dahil sabi niya aatras sa Fernando Poe.

Hinulaan niyang mamahalin siya ni Victor Wood. Isang 15 year old ang nagayuma niya.

Hindi niya nahulaan na makukunan siya kahit mahigit na animnapu na siya sa eda.

Ngayon hintuan na ninyo ako, noh.

The Ca t

Hindi na Pork Barrel, Pork Chop na

Dear Mouse,

Pinakamarami akong hits sa mga funny anecdotes ko. Kaunti lang pag tungkol sa pulitika pero ang kasabihan nga kahit wala kang pakilaam sa pulitika, ang pulitika naman ang nakikialam sa buhay mo.

Kaya ito ang update para sa pork barrel na ang tawag nila ngayon ay pork chop dahil i-iitemized na raw at hindi na lump sums.

Ang itemized o line budgeting ay ang pag-iisa isa ng mga gastos kagaya nang magkano ang halaga ng makinang binili. Magkano ang isinuweldo sa mga taong nainvolve sa project na ito.

Ayon po kay Jose De Venecia:

The Speaker of the House lashed back at his critics in the chamber, saying he is determined to pursue reforms in the use of pork barrel, which he said will not be abolished but “only be itemized to make it transparent and corruption-free.” He said the line-item budgeting will apply also to lump-sum allocations in the budgets of Malacañang and its line departments and agencies. At the Foreign Correspondents Association of the Philippines (FOCAP) forum later in the day, de Venecia said “the reform is institutional and permanent and all actions hereafter would be fully transparent ... There can be no more suspicious realignment of funds. Line-item budgeting will ensure complete transparency and full accountability in the expenditures of government.”

The Cat sez:

Tell it to the marines Accountants who think that Government Auditor may see,hear and speak no evil.

The Ca t

Earthquake-Lumindol man o bumagyo

Dear Mouse,

Lumindol man o bumagyo, ay hindi magiging sagabal upang ikaw ay aking dalawin.

Korni ba? Yan ang mga salitang naumutawi sa mga lalaking nagnanais mapasagot ang minimithing liyag. (lalim ng Tagalog ko, noh. Pakisisid nga).

Pero napatunayan ni Sassy yan sa kaniyang SO.

Lumindol man o bumagyo, pag ako ay antok, buhusan mo man ako ng tubig,matutulog pa rin ako. (hakhakhak...magagalit sa akin nito si Kumander Diyeta ni Sassy). Patawad, sir.

May mga isinulat po si Sassy tungkol sa lindol sa mga do’s pag may lindol.

Sa akin pong karanasan sa lindol sa Pilipinas, mayroon po akong idagdag.

Yon huling lindol na naranasan ko sa Pinas ay sa ikalabindalawang palapag.

Nanonood ako ng presentasyon ng dalawang international istudyents ng kanilang thesis doon sa thesis adviser nila. Kaibigan ko yong kaibigan nila kaya, sama rin kami.

Malaki ang conference room kaya pinaupo rin kami sa upuan na may gulong. Parang gusto ko tuloy maglaro.

Biglang lumindol.

Una mahina.

Naku ,lumalakas.

Gumulong yong upuan sa kaliwa.

Gumulong sa kanan habang lumilindol.

Para akong naglalaro.

Nahawakan ko yong isang istudyent na nakatayo, sumama tuloy siya sa paggulong ko.

Lampa.

Tip number one. Siguruhing lalaki nga ang hinahawakan ninyo para hindi kayo parehong umiiyak sa takot. Sarap kurutin.

Naalala ko na kailangang pumunta sa ilalim ng table para ligtas.Yon ang aking ginawa. Pero karamihan sa mga istudyents na mga pareyners ay nandoon sa ilalim. Nakipag siksikan din ako.

Tip number 2. Laging magdala ng perfume spray. Hindi ninyo alamm kung kailan kayo makakasiksikan sa mga pareyners na hindi mahilig maligo. Baho.....Kung hindi ako nabagsakan ng mga mabibigat na bagay, baka kung tumagal yon, kailangan ko rin ang artificial resuscitation.

Ang lindol ay tumatagal lang ilang minuto, pero akala mo ay napakatagal habang nangyayari.

Tip number 3. Tumigil sa isang lugar na malayo sa mga maaring bumagsak. Huwag mag-ala Darna kung babae o kaya Captain Barbell kung lalaki. (remake na ho yong kina Vilma at Edu) kagaya noong propesor na tumayo nga sa ay pinto at nagsabi nang “Don’t panic “ ay mukha naman siyang maiihi sa takot.

Ang kaniyang kasama naman ay tumayo sa may bookcase na akala mo ba pag bumagsak ay kaya niyang saluhin. Eh mgailang buto lang naman ang lamang niya kay Palito.

Isang payo ang ibinigay sa amin ng titser namin sa gred iskul na lagi kaming magdadala ng biscuit sa bag namin para kung kami ay stranded o kaya ay nalibing ng buhay sa gumuhong building, mayroon kaming kukutkutin. Naalala ko ang aking biscuit.Binibilang-bilang ko ang mga piraso. Tiningnan ako ng katabi ko sa ilalim ng mesa. Tinago ko. Ano siya nababaliw, aking lang yon ano. Mentally,inestimate kong aabot lang ng apat na araw. Next time siguro magdadala ako ng isang karton palagi.

Tip number 4. Magdasal. Yong katabi kong parayner parang nanaghoy. Tinanong ko kung ano ang ginagawa niya.Sabi eh, I am praying to my God. Oy damot din niya.God daw niya. Eh Diyos ko rin yun ah.

Dasal naman noong isa kong kaibigang playboy, ma-save lang daw siya, hindi na siya mambabae.

(Siyanga pala, nakita ko pagkatapos ng ilang buwan, ang kaibigan ko iba na naman ang kasama). Pinaalalahanan ko siya sa pangako niya.

Sabi niya, ang pangako niya, hindi na ako mambabae, pero hindi ko sinabi na hindi na sila manlalaki.

Sarap ihulog sa ikalabintatlong palapag, pero wala namang ikalabintatlong palapag ang building na yon.

Tip number 5.Mag-aral magbaging para kung natrap sa mataas na palapag, maaring gumamit ng mahabang tali para bumaba.

The Ca t

Gov't fat cats under fire-headline

Dear Mouse,

Hindi lang ang mga politiko ang dapat i-diet kung hindi pati ang matatabang director ng mga GOCC.

Sabi nga ni Sassy:

Clearly, there are government posts where salaries, benefits and other emoluments surpass those in private for-profit corporations. Of the 14 of 216 government-owned and controlled corporations (GOCCs), the top earners in 2001 were Ma. Livia de Leon, chairwoman of the Philippine Charity Sweepstakes Office, with 9.8 million.blockquote>

Lalo kayong magngingitngit pag nalaman ninyong walang magagawa ang Malacanan sa mga suweldo ng execs na ito ng GOCCs.

Ako natulala, kaya tawagin ninyo akong CAT-tulala,pinsan ni KRISTALALA.

Mula sa inquirer, hati-hatiin natin ang balita.

MALACAÑANG is powerless to bring down to reasonable levels the salaries and perks of executives of government-owned and -controlled corporations (GOCCs) and can only appeal to their sense of delicadeza (propriety), according to Budget Secretary Emilia Boncodin.

Ca t-tulala sez: May delicadeza ba sila ?

At a special briefing for the editorial staff of the Inquirer on Tuesday night, Boncodin said that after President Gloria Macapagal-Arroyo had named her nominees to the board and management of GOCCs, they could practically sign their own monthly paychecks

.Cat-tulala , hinayupak talaga,tapos pera ng gobyerno ang kanilang pinaglalaruan.She said the issue of GOCC directors setting their own salaries and bonuses was not a question of legality because their respective charters exempted them from the government's salary standards

.

Cat-tulala asks, "Sino ang Hudas, Hestas, Barabas ang nagpasimuno nito ?"

Boncodin said Ms Arroyo would push for the enactment of the Omnibus Reengineering Law that would authorize the President to reorganize the executive branch, including GOCCs.

Ca t-tulala sez: Sige itulak niya para mabawasan ang suweldo ng mga ganid na yan.

Press Secretary Ignacio Bunye expressed shock over the amounts cited, saying these were "quite high based on our present financial condition."

Cat-tulala sez: Di natulala rin siya.

Gabriela party-list Representative Liza Maza said it was highly immoral for GOCC officials to be receiving millions of pesos in salaries, allowances and perks in the midst of widespread poverty."We cannot allow this to continue," she said.

Throw them out

.

Cat-tulala sez:I have a better idea.kalbuhin.

The Ca t

What’s cookin’, Ca t ?

Dear Mouse,

Maraming naliligaw sa aking blog para maghanap ng recipes. Marahil dahil sa aking post na radical chef (not). Utang na loob, ang Pusa pong ito ay hindi marunong magluto. Kaya pinagsama-sama ko po ang mga batikan sa pagluluto sa sidebar captioned Chefcats,para pag may naligaw, alam nila ang kanilang pupuntahan.

Kahit sila mga full time housewives,sila naman ay mga propesyonal; abugada(siyempre yong pinakaradical sa kanila ) si Sassy, dalawang doktora; si Manangku at si hitsnmisses; isang software engineer,si Kusina ng Lola niya, isa pang techie, si Celia atisang mabuting may-bahay,si Ting-aling. Sila ay nasa iba't-ibang bahagi ng mundo; si Sassy ay nasa Pinas; si Manangku at Kusina ni Lola ay nasa Estet, si Celia ay nasa England at si hitsnmisses ay nasa Taiwan at si Ting-aling ay nasa kampana. (hehehe)

Hindi nga po ako marunong magluto maliban sa Sinunog na Chicken Wings.Simple lang, ilagay ang mga pirasong chicken wings sa kaserola. Lagyan ng tubig para pakuluan. Lagyan ng asin (rock salt) pagkatapos buksan ang TV. Bakit TV ? Para manood ng nakakainis na TFC programs. Kailangan ko pa bang sabihin kong buksan ang inyong stove. Siyempre sisindihan ninyo,noh.

Hayaang kumulo. Patuloy ang panonood. Pag may naamoy kayong nasusunog, saka lang kaskasin para umalis ang pagkakadikit. Lagyan ng kaunting manteka, magsunog ng bawang na dinikdik ng pinong-pino. Tikman. Pag kaya nang sikmura ninyo, kainin pero huwag na kayong maghanap ng damay.

Waaah.... Ano ba kayo, wala ba kayong sense of humor. Hindi ako masarap ? Teka paano ba ako makakatalon dito bago nila sindihan ang stove.

The Ca t

Kung-gressman

Dear Mouse,

Members of the House of Representatives are often called TONGressman. Many are unaware however, that some of them earned the monicker Congreasemen.

Rep.Antonio Diaz should be called Kungressman for his-kung-hindi-lang-naman-niya-makukuha- ang-gusto-niyang-komite ek-ek.

Sassy wrote:

Rep. Tony Diaz is allegedly resigning because he did not get appointed to the House committee of his choice.

The Ca t sez:

Spoiled brat ermmm

Spolied Brat Senior Citizen

Journal online reported:

ZAMBALES Rep. Antonio Diaz today said that he has withdrawn his resignation in response to the clamor of his constituents.

The Ca t sez:

Ano nagpahabol pa.

In an interview, he said:

"Ang mga kababayan ko ay talagang nagalit at nagtanong kung bakit daw ako nagresign. Sino na raw ang mag-aasikaso sa kanila sa natitira pang tatlong taon. Hindi ko akalain na ganyan sila katindi magre-react," Diaz added.

The Ca t sez:

Ano feeling niya, mahal siyang tao kaya nagalit? Ganon ?

Diaz wrote in his letter that he no longer wants to be a part of Congress since it already lost its honor.

The Ca t sez:

Kailan ba nagkaroon ng honor yan. Tagal na niya sa Batasang Pambansa, mula pa kay Marcos, ngayon lang niya nalaman.

The Ca t asksthe reaction of a brat.

Mahirap magpalaki ng matanda.

The Ca t

The Ca t received e-mailfrom G

Dear Cat,

My Intercession and Prayers Affairs Department has brought to my attention that you credited me for the resignation of a NAPOCOR bigwig.

I vehemently deny that I have something to do with the resignation, Ca t.

For one, I gave men, free will to do whatever they think is right. Right to some is not compliance to moral and ethical standards but right that is appropriate for one’s image as a leader, as a friend, a boss, as parents, and as children.

There are some purifications going on. Some of my white –robed ministers prefer to call it cleansing. To some, it is purging. There are sacrificial lambs as there are people who covet their neighbors' government positions. Yes, Ca t, it is not their neighbors they covet. They looked for their "patron saints"-- patrons who have helped the President in her victory. Rewards and punishments are peddled by my self-acclaimed GOD promoters but your politicians practised them shamelessly. Plum positions go to people who are appointed not because of their qualifications but because of the clout their patrons hold to the Appointments Committees.

Why do you think, they wanted positions in the GOCC , Ca t. I would answer that for you. Salary is good, benefits are good, Responsibility, practically none. It is similar to the saying of Ronald Reagan that a government is like a baby's alimentary canal, with a happy appetite at one end and no responsibility at the other.

If their responsibilities are similar to those of the CEOs of the private corporations, then they could have been kicked out from their positions at the onset of red bottomline figures. Instead, they stayed in their high-backed chairs, incurred more debts for the GOCC to cover the weak cash positions and operational losses. The only brilliant idea they introduced was to make the government absorb these losses by assuming the loans.

And now your politicians would like to tax the Church. Hohohoho

But Cat, many of these politicians have converted their family businessess to foundations so they can avail of the tax exempt status while enjoying the profits in the form of compensations,allowances, per diems for all the members of the family deducted as operating expenses.

If they cannot make the businesses operate as foundations, then they form foundations that can receive generous donations notonly from the faily businesses but also from the pork barrel of politicians they have helped in the campaign fund.

Yours sincerely,

GOD

The Ca t responds :

Patawad boss. Di ka naman mabiro.

The Ca t

Thank God!!!!!!

Dear Mouse,

Now,now, that is not an expression of relief.

You remember my previous blog " "Let there be light" where God in his frustration to create lights because of NAPOCOR, He phoned PGMA ?

Here is an update:

THE PRESIDENT of the National Power Corporation (Napocor) resigned from his post “to spend more time with his family,” a senior Cabinet official announced on Tuesday. Roger Murga’s resignation would take effect December 15, Energy Secretary Vincent Perez said at a news briefing in Malacañang.Perez said President Gloria Macapagal-Arroyo had accepted Murga’s resignation.Perez added that the President directed him to search for a replacement."The President underscores that the leadership of Mr. Murga will be greatly missed, especially since his retirement is taking place at a time when Napocor is at an important chapter in its corporate history," he added.Perez said Arroyo instructed Murga to "complete the task of streamlining Napocor, strengthen the mechanisms for cost-reduction and cost-savings, and pave the way for the speedier privatization of the company's generation assets" before retiring.

This may be the answer that is prayered.

Sabi nga ni Melanie Marquez:

Hello? Bulag ba kayo ? Bingi ba kayo ? Are you Dep?

The Ca t

You want to be saved from hell (not) part 2

Dear Mouse,

Polo, a friend of the Sassy must have took pity on the cat-used-as-doorstopper by an old woman to shoo away unwelcomed evangelists.

Thru Sassy, he sent me a photo of the device that would make these unwanted guests think twice before they knock at the door.

What dou you think?

Kakatok kaya siya ?

Kung kakatok kaya, ano kaya ang tunog?

Salamat Polo.

The Ca t

Dumb, Dumber, Dumbest, More Dumb, Most Dumb?

Dear Mouse,

Sassy lawyer wrote:

Let’s dissect Dr. Lee’s observation objectively. If the study is correct--and I say if--then brainpower is lost with every generation. Following this argument, our parents were more intelligent than we are, and our grandparents were more intelligent than our parents were...

.

The Ca t sez:

Siguro itong peyrents na ito, sangkatutak ang anak.

The Ca t