Iskas/iskos ng UP-Mabuhay kayo

Dear Mouse,

Hanep ang mga kabarangay ni Sassy, humahataw sa France at nakipagsabayan pa sa Cambridge University Law Students.

Napublish daw ito sa Inquirer pero ang hirap kong magnavigate sa net ngayon kaya wala akong link. Pag balik na lang nitong aking notebook pagkatapos purgahin.

Tatlong UP law students ang nakipagsabayan sa mga taga Cambridge sa Jeann Pictet Competition sa international humanitarian law. Ito yong moot/court role playing contest.

Sinong nagsabi na talo ng Singapore ang Pilipinas sa edukasyon. Kita mo naman ang mga tinalo ng Pinoy; New York university, National University of Singapore, Switzerland's University Centre for International Humanitarian Law, University of Tblissi, Georgia at Ultrecht University.

Ako may ipagmamalaki rin. Ito ang shirt na may tatak Cambridge University. (babaw,noh).Pasalubong sa akin ng isang mapusyaw ang kulay-na-kaibigan-nga-ba-o-kaaway-o-ano-nga-ba-ang-role-niya-sa-buhay noong dinalaw niya ang kaniyang kapatid at bayaw na nagtuturo doon tuwing summer. Hindi Law kung hindi Labor Eco. Nilabhan ko na naman yong shirt 'noh. Sabi ko kasi sa kaniya, para mahalin ng isang tao, regaluhan mo ng shirt. nakayakap sa katawan. Kaso niregalo niya intelligent shirt. hehehe

The CA t

I checked mine

Dear mouse,
This is not a late entry. Check the post date. I want to put this on record.

Another leaf had fallen. Nick Joaquin passed away. So was Quijano de Manila.

While some of my fellow bloggers can take pride in having hobnobbed with the Man, I must admit i did not have the same opportunities as theirs.

I was introduced to his writings at the time when the non- life forms that replaced the Nancy Drew books inhabiting my bed were spy thrillers and detective stories. The list of the readings in our literature class included his work with "two navels" in the title. My knee-jerk reaction was to check mine. Very interesting title. It made me read it to find out what it was all about.

Filams who never have the chance to read any of his works, go to manuel quezon lll to read a sample.

Two birds in one stone. You will get to know about the Great Man's writing style and the Great Quezon Family.

The CA t

Homestretch

Dear Mouse,

Ilang tulog na lang, eleksiyon na.

Si Da King ay may pinagbago na rin. Mahigit dalawang parirala na rin ang nasasabi niya. Sama-sama tayo. Hindi na rin siya nang-uumbag. Ang kaniyang misis na lang.

Si Ate Glow ay panay ang glow. Nasa kaniya lahat ang resources. Pati si Ai Ai, si Nora at si Boy Abunda. Huwag kalimutan si Kris.

Si Eddie G. ay nalaglag nang tuluyan. Magpipiloto na lang raw siya...ng lumang chopper na binili niya. raw.

Si Eddie Villanueva ay nagpakita ng lakas sa Makati rally. Lumabas ang kaniyang mga tagasunod.

Mabuti man ang pakay niya ay may mga balakid siya sa pangarap niyang mgaging Presidente---ang Iglesia, ang El Shaddai members at ang Catholic Church.

May mga pasubali ako sa mga taong nagtatag ng religious organization at pumasok sa pulitika. Hindi sapat ang pakay at ang mabuting puso para manalo sa isang puwesto na ipinalalagay na napaka mahalaga na kahit siguro kaluluwa ay ipagbibili .

Kinilabutan ako ng makita ko si Ecleo na nasa wheelchair at halos ayaw ipahipo ng kaniyang mga alagad. Nang ifinocus ang mukha niya, hindi ko mawari kung iyon ba ay ngiti sa cameraman o ngiting parang nagsasabing, see what my followers will do for me?

Si Ping Lacson ay isa pa ring misteryo sa akin. Saan siya kumukuha ng pera para sa kaniyang kampanya. Ang larawang nakikita ko sa kaniya ay isang boksingero. Duguan na ay siya pa ang humihiyaw na lalaban ka pa ba.

Si Roco ay isa sanang tao na maaring gumawa ng lahat para sa bayan para siya ay makapag-iwan ng magandang legasiya. Nguni't hanggang kailan? Basahin ang discussion ni Sassy tungkol dito.

The CA t

Swans, ducks, Dr. Belo and Dr. Emer

Dear Mouse,

Si Inababes ang unang nagsulat tungkol sa The Swan. Ito yong mga babaeng karga ang problema ng mundo sa kanilang katawan, sa mata, sa mukha at sa utak. Naging fairy godmothers and team ng dermatologist, cosmetic surgeons, stylists, aerobic gurus and therapists para gawing Swan ang isang uglyduckling. Sabi nga ng fairy tale, the ugly duckling turned into a beatiful swan.

Unang episode, gumanda nga ang mukha pero halos 'di makapagsalita yong isang contestant dahil masyado yatang banat yong muscles.Takot siyang baka bigla na lang mag-snap.

Pano napasok si Dr. Belo dito? Di ba ganoon din ang ginagawa niya sa mga artista natin. Dati hush hush ang kanilang mga pagpapaayos ng ilong, bibig, eye bugs, sagging facial muscles, drooping eyelids. Ngayon matapang na silang aminin na sila ay Salamat po Doctor. Sila rin hindi sila bibigyan ng malaking discount.

May nakita rin ako na isang artistang nagsailalim ng non-surgical facelift--yon bang nilalagyan ng mga sinulid yong loob ng mukha. Pagkatapos ng operasyon, tuwing tatawa siya ay hinahawakan niya ang kaniyang dalawang pisngi at feeling niya ay baka maputol ang mga sinulid biglang bagsak ang isa niyang pisngi ---di hindi pantay.

Paano naman napasok si Dr. Emer dito. Hindi siya cosmetic sugeon ha. Siya ay talagang doktor na mahilig umurirat ng mga samot-samot na issues na nagpapaputi sa buhok natin, nagpapadami ng eyebags dahil sa problemang kaiisip. Ang maganda dito ay talagang doctor siya kaya pag nagbigay siya ng mga opinions ay maniniwala ka. Kagaya ni Atty. Sassy tungkol sa mga legal issues.

E bakit nga nasama si Dr. Emer sa titulo.

Ganito yon. pumunta kayo kay Dr. Emer. Kung nabasa na ninyo ang article at wala pang bago dahil busy siya sa pakikipagbuno sa kaniyang mga pasyente, puntahan ninyo ang links niya.
Kung kayo ay kumakain habang nagbrobrowse, i click ninyo ang Autopsy Report. Siguruhin ninyo lang na hindi kayo kumakain ng bulalo o kaya dinuguan.

Pero ang pinakainteresante ay yong mga Awful Surgeries. Gusto ninyong malaman kung nagpaayos din ng ilong si Dubya?

Kung mahina ang puso ninyo,huwag ninyong i click ang before and after, before and after, before and after ni Michael Jackson. Remember ilong daw lang ang pinaayos niya. At kung gusto ninyong makita ang mukha ng aking paboritong si Catherine Zeta Jones bago siya naging Mrs. Michael Douglas, hah sasabihin ko sainyo, bibilib kayo sa The Swan.

At ang forever young na si Cher na marumi ang bunganga dahil ayaw magpalapit kahit kanino...kaya naman pala, pag malapitan, mukhang hukluban na rin.

Si Farrah Fawcett ay mukhang witch, ganda pa naman niyon. sandali bakit ko ba idedescribe. Punta na kayo kay Dr. Emer noh. Babalik-balikan niyo para makita ninyo ang mga magagandang pumangit at mga pangit na gumanda at ang mga boobs na lumiit, lumaki. hehehe

Ako talagang maganda. Arekup..nambato na naman agad eh.

The CA t

Finally

Dear Mouse,

Matagal na ring nakaimbak yong application para akong maging Kano. Kailangan magdecision na ako.

Pero huwag akalain ng iba na kaya ako nag decision na maging Puti ay dahil sa mga sumusunod:

1. Nadisqualify na si Eddie G ng Supreme Court (marami sa aking mga kaibigan na akala talagang si Eddie G ang aking manok. (Sabi nga ni Sassy..utang na loob)...Yong kaniyang wig ay mukhang palong ng manok pero hindi ko siya manok. Vegan ito babe).

2. Mukha talagang maysakit si Raul Roco. (Sabi nila wasted vote dahil hindi mananalo. At least pag may bulilyaso sa mananalong kandidato, hindi ka maduduro ng iyong konsensiya na kasama ka sa mga nagpako kay Juan dela Cruz sa lalong paghihirap. (hankie please).

3. hindi rin dahil blue ang paborito kong kulay kaya gusto ko ng bughaw na kulay na Pasaporte ng Puti.

4. hindi rin dahil gusto ko ng masunod ang aking pantasya na magkaroon ng pangalang Kano. (Isa kasi privileges ay ang makapagpalit ng pangalan).

Yong aking kaibigang babae ang apelyido niya ay Bulaclac. Tuwing ipinakilala siya ay may mga salbaheng lalaking mahilig sa pulutan na nagdudugtong ng " Sitsaron". Ngayon ang apelyido niya ay Flowers.

Minsan umorder ako ng bulaklak sa phone para delivery sa kaniya. What shall I write in the card? Sabi ko,you write Rose Flowers. Is that necessary for her to know that what you sent are roses and they're flowers. Oo nga naman. Matalinong bata,dapat hindi siya sa flowershop.

Totoo ang istorya ko. Yong mga nagpalit ng pangalan sa mga jokes ng Pilipino ay katatawanan lang kagaya ni Casimiro Bulaclac-na naging Cashmere Bouquet.

5. Hindi rin dahil pag may dala kang bughaw na pasaporte, hindi na kailangang kumuha ng visa pag namasyal sa Europa at sa Iraq.

6. Hindi rin dahil ang mga US citizen lang ang puwedeng magpetition ng fiancee. Yong aking single na kaibigan na pangasawa niya yong lalaking dati-dati iniisnab siya ng pamilya at yong lalaki ay pinagtatawanan siya dahil hindi siya kagandahan. Nang minsang umuwi siya sa Pinas, pagbalik niya dito naghanap ng mangga. Ngayon, nag-aalaga ng anak nila yong poging asawa.

Mayroon namang isang lalaki akong nakilala sa isang pagtitipon. Siya yong tipong (makalaglag ng bra) sa kaguwapuhan. Sinundan ng aking kaibigang malapit ng tumalon sa kalendaryo. Naupo sa tabi ng isang babae na napakalaki at napakataba na pag nakita mo gusto mong matulog at hiramin yong palda niya na maging kumot. Asawa pala tsika. Napetition din.

Sabi ko sa kaniya, umuwi rin siya at maglagay ng karatula sa labas ng bahay nila. Wanted Husband by a US Citizen, apply inside. Mas mura pa at mas madali. Hindi lang lahat successful stories. Minsan ang anak ay nagmamana sa babae. oops.

Kaya ko gustong maging Kano dahil gusto ko nang bomoto. Pag botohan dito mabilis din ang pagprocess ng application. Sayang din eh. Hindi na kailangan ipad ang voter's list. Pagkatapos mong mag-oath-taking, magpaparegister ka either Rep or Dem.

Sana ay dumating yong application ko bago mag April 30. Dahil tataas na namang ang processing fee. Wala akong binanggit na ito ang dahilan ha.

The CA t

This seat is reserved

Dear Mouse,

Nakita ko kay Resty at kay Dean Jorge Bocobo minsan na may nakalagay silang reserved sa kanilang page.

Gagayahin ko rin. Kasi mainit ngayon sobra. Parang natutunaw yong utak ko sa init. Hindi tuloy ako makapagsulat. Anong ginagawa ko ngayon? Di nagtatype. Iba ang sulat sa type 'noh. (Kung kukurot sa kabilang pisngi para pantay ). Sinabayan pa noong kasama kong Mapusyaw ang kulay ng suot ng shorts , eh may tattoo naman sa binti. Tapos hinarap sa kaniya yong electric fan. Sabi ko nga Resty, ako ay lahing bughaw. Nagiging bughaw ako sa pagpigil ng paghinga.

Kaya mamaya na ako susulat o kaya bukas ng madaling araw para medyo malamig.

Sa Estet ang tanong, is this seat taken...pag nilagyan mo ng reserved. Sus perdegones. Hindi naman
nakuha eh. Nakareserba lang.

Sa Pilipinas naman ang tanong saiyo. May nakaupo ba? Ang sagot, meron, invisible man. Sus perdegones, alam ng wala ng nakaupo kung hindi yong bag magtatanong pa. Pag ako nakakita nang may nakapatong na bag o anumang bagay para ireserba ang upuan, ang kakausapin ko yong bag mismo. Makikusap ako na usog nga.

So this page is reserved. Kaya may nakasulat. Ano ang pinagrereserbahan kong topic. Ewan ko ba, ano nga ba?
The CA t

Bakit kanyo?

Dear mouse,
At last nakita ko na ang mga political ads. Napag-isip-isip ko, kailan man hindi ako puwedeng maging presidente.
Bakit kanyo?

1. Hindi ako sumasayaw sa harap ng publiko. Sumasayaw lang ako sa madilim na may umiikot na ilaw sa taas at siksikan kaya walang nakakita kung ang kaliwa kong paa ay nakikipag-away sa aking kanan.

2. Hindi ako makakanta sa publiko. Pinakamaraming tao na kumanta ako ay sa birthday ng aking kaibigan. Noong yong may balitang kudeta sa Pinas. Yon yong lumapit sa aking yong isang taong anak ng aking kaibigan at inilapat ang kaniyang kamay sa aking dibdib na para bang nagsasabing TAHAN NA. Magandang bata. Lumaki-lakilang siya, makukutusan ko na.

3. Hindi ako marunong umarte ng walang internalization muna. Kahit na siguro isipin ko ang budget deficit na haharapin ko pag ako naging presidente, hindi ako magkakaroon ng mukhang nakakaawa. Sa isang ad, merong parte na ang kandidato ay nakatalikod at biglang haharap. Pag sa akin ang nangyari yon, baka pagharap ko duling ako o kaya nakangising biglang magsasabi ng Bulaga. baka ibato sa aking ang camera ng director.

4. Wala akong mga kaibigang artista na ang " salitang respetado ay para sa isang taong maraming asawa at anak na nasa komedya na kung hindi sasapukin o mananapok ay hindi nakakatawa.

5. Wala akong mga singers na nakakuha ng trabahong umawit para sa political ads. Buhay na naman sila.

6. hindi ako puwedeng humawak ng bola ng basketball sa harap ng mga kabataan. Bakit marunong ba ako ng basketball?

7. Hindi mo rin ako mapapasuot ng jacket na maong. Sa init sa Pilipinas. Ano sila nahihibang? Kahit na siguro maikli ang aking mga braso. Ooops

8. Biniyayaan ako ng mata na akala mo laging nakangiti kaya hindi ako puwedeng lumabas sa TV na akala mo nakakaawa o kaya kailangan ng mga reminders na bawal ang nakasimangot dito.

9. Pag isinama mo ako sa komedyante, baka magkaroon kami ng instant stand up comedy na nakaupo.

10. Isa hindi ako pangit(sabi ng nanay ko) at malago ang buhok.

11. Pag isinama mo ako sa matatanda, tatawagin nila akong walang respeto. Niregaluhan akong remote controlled farting machine. Iba't ibang volume, iba't ibang sound. hehehe

Noong bata pa ako slim ang mader ko. Ineekseryas ko siya palagi pagtakbo. Hinahabol niya ako pag narealize niya na hindi naman totoong " dumi" ang nasa bagong linis na garahe.

May hinangaan lang akong isa sa admaker...si Jun Urbano. Tama ang sinabi niya. trabaho lang yong paggawa niya ng political ad. Hindi ibig sabihin naniniwala siya sa kandidato. May gusto niya ang role niya na Mr. SHoli (am not sure about this) na nasasabi niya ang katotohanan sa pamamagitan ng pagpapatawa.Ang hindi matawa,pikon.

Gusto kong magdagdag. Ang di matawa, bungi.
The CA t

Two LADIES AND A CAT say it's not GIL-arious

Dear Mouse,

Sassy's Blogspot and Eddie G expounded on Gil's real part in the so-called political circus. Is he really a clown or someone who was made to assume the role of a clown by a group known as UTHEN (unidentified thinktank entities---kala ninyo x-rated ,noh?) so that political strategists from other camps would not take him seriously.

Boondock Queen is alarmed by the Gil's rendition of NO-EL (definitely not the Christmas Carol) after his talk with Abat.

Read her "NEWS HERE, MERGE THERE, ELECTIONS PURGED"

But these two ladies think that whatever role he is tasked to do, it is not GIL-arious.

This CA t categorically states that this observation is undoubtedly factual.

There is a saying, do not judge a person by his looks. Baka pangit siya pero tingnan mo uli at sabihin mong "ay pangit pala talaga siya".ehek

The dumb look has been exploited by people who are very skillful in the arts of espionage and sabotage, the branches of the dark knowledge of confusion and intrigues.

In the corporate world, it is unhealthy for one with a very promising career on top of the ladder to have someone in her circle, a mole from the executive office. You will not be able to identify her. Sometimes, she is the dumbest in your department or appears to be the most clueless. But that is exactly what the corporate guys desire for her role. A nobody of importance, not a threat, always a follower , a yes person, an ass licker but a very dangerous eyes and ears of her patron. Sometimes she is the sacrificial lamb if worse comes to worst.

In the world of espionage, they can be the ordinary chambermaids in the hotels. The guys who would cower at the first hail of bullets. The guys you would not suspect to be able to open your brief cases locked with combination numbers.
Believe me guys, I had a household help who was able to rob me thousands of pesoses because I did not even entertain the thoughts of her capability to open a safe. It was only when friends in the neighborhood tipped me off that my innocent-looking help regularly treated her friends in the village sky is the limit when I started doing a Sherlock Holmes game in my own territory.

In the industry espionage of secret formula and new product launching infos, the culprits may be the cleaning boys or girls, the maintenance or department's mailman or even the vendor in the office delivering packed lunches or meriendas.

My friend from a bureau with investigation as their business intimated that their disguises range from a miserable homeless guy, a noisy agitator in a peaceful demonstration, a fanatic cult follower or a very efficient waiter in a hotel or restaurant. May time na sinundo niya ako, na nakadisguise pa siyang sinto sinto. Muntik ko na siyang bugbugin. Oppps.

There were talks that the reason why some coups did not prosper from attempts to government overthrow was because generals were making the plans over a table of sumptuous meals and expensive drinks served by very conscientious waiters.

Minsan ang mga may mukhang parang walang utak ang nakakadaya.

Eddie G may not be a mole or a spy but he functions for whatever was the design of the plan of deploying him in the warplace. He may not win the war for his patron but he can unmake the winning of a closest rival. Intentions of those who vote for him may include the mockery of election by voting for a clown but actually the jokes on them. His patrons have provided these voters with what they wished for --an alternative for tradpols and movie personalities--a comic whose comedic repertoire is an insult to the thinking public. Wasted votes are precious votes for some.

Whoever the members of the UTHEN are, you stink.

The CA t

saang planeta?

Dear Mouse,

Galing ako sa shopping ngayong gabi. Sunod-sunod ang may birthday kasi. Nakaupo ako at naghihintay ng teren, katabi ang isa ring Filipina na mas malayo pa ang destinasyon sa akin. Hindi pa siya sanay sa teren kaya takot siyang mawala. mawala? saan sa riles?

Nang may isang Puting lumapit sa amin. Ang bunghalit, kung saan man daw planeta kami galing ay bumalik na kami. Racist. Sagot ko Venus, ikaw saang zoo ka nakawala.

Takot yong Filipina. Dumukot ako sa bulsa ng aking coat. Tanong niya kung ano yon. Sabi ko cell phone.

Tinitigan ko yong lalaki habang pinaririnig ko na may ipadadampot akong Puting unggoy na nakakawala. Umiwas ng tingin ang Puti. Sabi ng babae, baka sira ang ulo. Sabi ko wala sa aking sira ang ulo, dahil mas sira pa ang ulo ko sa kaniya. Buti wala akong dalang saging, kung hindi nasalaksak ko sa kaniya ng di oras.

Minsan naman ay siksikan sa teren dahil rush hour. May isang babaeng Asyano na itinukod ang kaniyang elbow para hindi siya madantian tuwing hihinto ang teren at bumabalentong ang mga tao.

Isang istasyon ang hinintuan at ako ay tatama sa kaniyang elbow. Bigla akong iwas at sapul ang kaniyang elbow sa ilalim ng kilikili ng isang itim. hehehe. Kailangan niyang ipadry clean ang kaniyang coat. Sabi ko sa kasabay kong Pinay, pakibigyan ng dollar. Kung ayaw niyang ng masikip, sumama siya kay Maricel Soriano. Di ba siya yong nagsabi ng..ayaw ko ng masikip, ayoko ng maputik....

The CA t

Singers all-di va

Dear Mouse,

Ang aking paboritong presidential candidate na is Eddie Gil ay kumakanta ng NO-EL (no election)kahit hindi pa Pasko. O di ba masaya?
Ibig sabihin nito ay din a siya tatakbo. O kaya gagapang. Kaya naghanap ako ng puwedeng iboto ko sana.

Ito siya at tatlo sa mga plataporma niya.

On solving corruption.
I will employ mambabarangs (witch doctors) of Siquijor in the Office of the Ombudsman to cast spells on thieves in government. For every peso stolen from public coffers, the mambabarangs will inflict one kulugo (wart). This, along with other novel punishments such as implanting live roosters in the bellies of the dishonest, will certainly eradicate corruption in government.
On social justice.

I will penalize all those rude and tacky people who do not turn off their mobile phones in theaters and concert halls by installing chips in their eardrums that will play ring tones during appropriate moments of the day. They will be pestered to sleep by Auld Lang Syne and awakened by the Lone Ranger theme.

On foreign policy.

I will sever diplomatic ties with Japan until they recall and destroy all karaoke machines ever constructed. Since they invented those monstrosities, they are responsible for the devastation that has afflicted this country as a result of lousy, drunken yodeling passed off as singing.

Kita ninyo, okay siya diva.

Speaking of divas.

Muntik na akong mahulog sa couch nang inaanounce ni Ryan Seacrest ng American Idol na yong tatlong Itim na diva ang nasa bottom three. Sila ang inaprubahan ni Simon Cowell na matindi ang labanan. Para yatang pagrerebelde kay Simon ang nangyayari. Kinokontra siya ng mga voting public.

Kay Jasmine Trias pa rin ako. Marami tayong diva sa Pilipinas na halos mapatid ang litid sa pataasan ng boses. Gusto kong makinig sa musika na naaliw ako at hindi nakulili ang aking tenga.

The CA t

Sinong may salad

Dear Mouse,

Sa kalikutan ng isang bata, ay nahulog ang isang bote ng tubig sa isang grocery store.

Sumabog ito at nabasa ang sahig na kinadupilas ng isang Puti. Pinatawag niya ang manager ng store at pinagbantaan ng idedemand ang tindahan dahil sa aksidente niya na ang may sala ay ang kaniyang malikot na anak.

Sumunod na nadupilas ay isang Filipino. Isa siya sa mga Filipino na ang sinisi ay ang sarili sa mga dagok sa buhay at sa pagiging mahirap ng bansa. Tumayo siya, pinagpag ang nabasang damit at sabi tsssk tsssk, hindi kasi ako nag-ingat. Ikatlo ay isang Intsik na na naniniwala pa rin na ang lahat ng ibang lahi na nakatira sa labas ng bansa ay lolokohin lamang sila, pagsasamantalahan at aapihin. Hindi siya nagreklamo tungkol sa aksidente pero pinagsabihan niya ang kaniyang pamilya na huwag ng bibili pa sa store na iyon.

Tatlong lahi na may iba-ibang paniniwala kung sino ang sisihin at sino ang may kasalanan.

Sa article na Americans' Real Addiction Is To Lawsuits nabasa natin na kung puwede lang idemanda nila ang Diyos dahil sa pagkasilang nila, gagawin siguro ng Puti.

Ang mga Intsik naman ay sinisisi nila ang mga Banyaga.

Basahin: China's crazy blame game

• Cigarette smuggling is an attempt by international tobacco companies to disrupt government tax revenue.

• Junk clothes are dumped into fishing villages by unscrupulous Western businesses to pollute the environment.

• Hollywood movies spearhead the cultural invasion into the pure and beautiful minds of Chinese youth.

• Japanese tourists lure Chinese women into hotel rooms to humiliate China on the anniversary of the outbreak of war between the two countries in 1931.

• Trade is a battleground. High imports of competitively priced plastics or grains in one year are meant to cripple domestic industries, while a low tide of high-tech transfers constitutes an embargo on China.

• Sars is a gene-based weapon manufactured by the United States for use against the Chinese, according to a new book just published by a Social Sciences Publishing House in Beijing.

• And of course, the list of usual suspects is not complete without mankind's Seattle-based enemy. Evil Bill Gates keeps his software deliberately priced above the reach of low-income Chinese to ensure that most of China uses a Gates-manipulated, 'pirated' copy of Windows at 10 yuan (S$2) a disc. Once the poor Chinese are hooked on Microsoft's operating system, Mr. Gates will wipe out the domestic, patriotic software.

Sino kaya ang sisihin ko dahil ipinanganak akong maganda. Arekup naman, hindi na kAYO MABIRO.

The CA t

What’s up?-chicken Wings

Dear Mouse,

Almost all websites are inaccessible.

Arghhhhhh

Servers are down.

Me, I was down today by flu-like illness. Must be the pollen. Ewan ko ba. Sa Pinas naman panay ang singhot ko ng bulaklak at panay ang akyat sa puno pero wala naman akong naging problema sa pollen. Kay Aling Poleng mayroon. Kasi panay ang akyat namin sa puno ng bayabas niya. Ang lalaki kasi at hinog ang mga bayabas. Yon bang dilaw salabas pagkatapos rosas sa loob.ahahay... Wala sa amin yong mabalahibong itim na uod na nahuhulog pag sinungkit mo yong bunga. Hindi pa kasi kami nagkakasya sa malalaking puno ng santol sa aming malayong kamag-anak. Napakalayong kamag-anak na sila kaya di ko alam ang itatawag kung tiyo, lolo, o Ingko. Napakalayo rin ng kanilang lugar kaya kailangan naming maglakad ng malayo hanggang maabot namin ang kaniyang bahay na hindi kubo pero napapaligiran ng mga halaman, gulay at mayoon pa. –mga punong may mga bunga kagaya ng langka, mangga, santol, atis, at saging. Pag sinuswerte, may makukuha kaming malaking pinya na puwede ng kunin para makain.

Ang mga langka ay nababalutan ng sako, ang mga santol at mangga ay matataas ang puno samantalang ang atis ay mababa lang. Ang saging ay buwig -buwig. Para kaming mga unggoy na kumuha ng isang buwig at nilalantakan namin hanggang mga balat na lang ang ebidensiya na minsan ay may prutas sa buwig.

Pag uwi namin, may sakit nga kami. Empatso. Di natunawan.

Ngayon bumibili na lang ako ng saging. Anim na piraso ay mga dollar twenty. Hanep ang mahal.

Wala akong ganang kumain. Nagpalambot ako ng chicken wings. Sa kapapanood ko sa replay portion ng The Buzz sa Radyo Patrol, nakalimutan ko ang niluluto ko kaya hayun sunog. Masarap pala pag sunog na chicken wings.

Si Kris na umiiyak. Lalo akong nagkasakit. Phuleasseeee.

I realized that the good looks, good education and pedigree are not enough for Kris Aquino to posses high self esteem. She has all the qualities that a man may want from a woman but unfortunately, she has no self worth to put a big period in her relationship with wrong men, to keep silence when there were no more things to discuss and to move on with family’s dignity in mind.

Yes, she admitted that she stopped being a confidant to the obnoxious mayor of Paranaque but my fever shot up to more than 100 degrees when she said about being luckiest girl for somebody to be married to JOEY? Harrumph harummph (excuse me resty if I expectorate.)

BAKITTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT?

I am at even at a loss why voters elect these breeds of politicians whose domestic lives are in shambles.

Pakisampal nga ninyo ako.

In the Estet, where Ten Commandments are removed from public views and prayers are banned in schools, the downfall of a person seeking public office may be caused by immorality issues stemming from illicit affair or out-of-wedlock parenthoods.

It is ironic that a Catholic country such as the Philippines where events are set in motion by invoking God’s mercy, are very forgiving to the public officials whose scandalous lives are an insult to the guardians of morals ---the same guardians whose endorsements are believed to carry a sure victory for the anointed ones.

Whatever chance Senator Ted Kennedy had to become another strong political figure outside the family’s bailiwick sank with a woman named Mary Jo Kopechne several decades ago. The accident in at Chappaquiddick haunted him like a ghost in the past.

The theory that the “suicide ‘ of a popular sexy movie star was due to a possible scandal that would ruin the career of very popular political icon remained to be a theory. It was well guarded secret –at least before he lost his life to an assassin.

Newt Gingrich never recovered from his political downfall and Bill Clinton paid a price for getting interested in a thong .

Sandali, bakit from Pollen allergy and Aling Poleng, napunta na naman sa mga POL-itiko.

Sensya na kayo, effecto lang yang pollen at chicken wings.

The CA t

Addiction and my Cat-didate

Dear Mouse,

The mother who blamed the whole universe except herself in the article of Cranial Activity is an addict.

According to Jennifer Nelson, if Americans have an addiction, it is an addiction to suing others for problems brought on by their own behavior and choices.

Americans' Real Addiction Is To Lawsuits

Jennifer Nelson, Special to SF Gate

Are your pants a little snug? Are you dreading having to put a bathing suit on this summer? If you are overweight, whose fault is it? Yours? Or McDonald's?

John Banzhaf, a professor of legal activism at George Washington University Law School who was instrumental in the successful class-action lawsuits against the tobacco companies, has said he believes fast food has "addictive-like" properties.

If Americans have an addiction, it is an addiction to suing others for problems brought on by their own behavior and choices.

Take tobacco, for example. Cigarette packs have carried warning labels since the mid-1960s. Cigarette advertising has been banned from radio and television since 1969. Schools have long been teaching children -- as early as kindergarten -- that cigarettes are unhealthy.

Yet politicians and trial lawyers made big headlines -- and money -- off suing the tobacco industry in the 1990s, blaming it for making tobacco-related illnesses the leading cause of death in America.

Certainly, tobacco companies spend a great deal of money advertising their product and making it seem cool to smoke. But, seriously, no one under the age of 50 can possibly say he or she was unaware that tobacco is unhealthy and can cause terminal illnesses before he or she started to smoke. And those over 50 have certainly known for decades that the habit can kill them. Yet people still choose to buy cigarettes and put them in their mouth. Why should R.J. Reynolds be responsible for the illness of someone who knowingly purchases and smokes cigarettes with the full knowledge that tobacco is unhealthy and addictive?

The same goes for Burger King and Taco Bell. No one is forcing people to eat at these fast-food chains. Certainly, the companies spend a great deal on advertising -- most large businesses with a product to sell do. But even a snazzy commercial doesn't force a person into one of these stores -- that's a personal decision.

Similarly, we Filipinos blame everybody but ourselves for the economic and political environment we are in.

We blame the low-income people and the unlettered majority for selling their votes. We blame the corrupt officials. We blame the media and we blame the Church.

According to Benito Lim,

“But in this country, in marked contrast to the United States, a high percentage of lower-income people vote, as high as 80 percent. In part it is because the country's 40,000 village leaders make sure they do, often by handing out $10 to $20 as an incentive.

But the poor also vote "out of conviction," he said, believing the politicians' promises of jobs, health care and school for their children. “

What he failed to mention was the other “g incentives" in order to be sure that they do not cheat by pocketing the money and voting their own candidates---the guns and the goons. These private armies' mission from their employers during election is to terrorize the voters . They were made to believe that they will know who they voted for.

Lim’s other observation was that his students say they cannot be bothered to register to vote because they feel they cannot make a difference, which he finds alarming.

It is not only the students who are suffused with the doomed scenario of hopelessness —even the intellectuals. So they abstain from voting. In case the elected official reneged in his promise, they wash their hands like Pontius Pilate. --- I did not vote for him…

I said they--that means I am excluded…(di ba we always exclude ourselves) Besides, di naman ako kasama sa mga intellectuals and on this election, I will go out and vote.
.
EDDIE GIL FOR PRESIDENT—arekup..bakit ba ninyo ako binabato ng kamatis. LROCO nga ako, hindi naman POE ako sirang sira.

The CA t

Ang boksingera at si Martin

Dear Mouse,

Si Maruja, si Barbara na pinapatay sa Sindak at ang Daigdig ni Fernando Poe ay isa palang boksingera. Described as one of the sweetest lady in the movie kingdom, she earned respect for her graciousness and free from scandal—career that always haunted an individual in a celluloid world---Well almost….One, the media did not talk about her sister Rosemarie who chose to leave her family and married a US Navy. Second, her married life with a womanizer and a horserace aficionado was never a public item.

Introduced in a movie Boksingera, now she lives up to her title movie by punching a City councilor.

Susan Roces throws a punch

By Nestor Burgos Jr.

Inquirer News Service

ACTRESS Susan Roces, wife of actor and presidential candidate Fernando Poe Jr., Saturday threw a fit during a campaign sortie in Roxas City and punched a city councilor, who was with her in the sortie.

Lawyer Joseph Arrojado, regional chair of the pro-Poe Filipinos for Progress Justice and Truth Movement (FPJTM), quoted Allan Celino, Roxas City councilor who is running for vice mayor under the opposition Koalisyon ng Nagkakaisang Pilipino (KNP), as saying he was punched in the stomach by Roces.

In a phone interview, Celino confirmed the incident.

But Mike Romero, spokesperson of the KNP, said no such thing happened.

Martin Nievera

Ayaw ko si Martin Nievera. Para siyang batang spoiled na pag nakahawak ng microphone, kahit hindi niya program ay nagtetake-over siya. Minsan nanood ako ng show where a young artist was made to sing a song popularized by him. Bigla siyang nakipagduet ng paloko na para bang ang gusto niyang palabasin ay he can do it even with eyes closed.

Sa isang Sharon episode naman ay bigla siyang nagremark ng dapat ang kinanta ni (ewan) ko sino yong gagayahin si Nonoy Zuniga na dapat Footloose ang kaniyang kinanta at the same time wriggling his right foot. The public knows that Nonoy Zuniga has an artificial leg. Wala pa bang mababa sa ginagawang katatawanan ang kapansanan ng tao?

During the anniversary ng TFC sa Cow Palace, marami sa mga manonood ang nabuwisit sa mga remarks niya sa audience na nagpapatunay lang na pumasok ang hangin sa kaniyang ulo.

At bakit bulol pa rin siyang magtagalog? Marami ang mga artista diyan na lumaki rin dito sa States pero kahit accent nila hindi mo na mahalata.

Nakakainis pakinggan ang kaniyang Tagalog na…sana nandito KWA…sa isang commercial dito sa TV.
The CA t

Pulitiko at Sardinas

Dear Mouse,

Matindi ang kamandag ni Sassy. Pati ang mga lalaking nasa kaniyang links ay nahahalinang magluto kagaya ni Vic at ni Nick.

Ako, magluto man, sardinas pa rin ang pinakamadali kong lutuin. Sabi ni inang ang sardinas daw ang pinaka-istupidong isda sa buong mundo. Mantakin mo nga namang pumasok na sa lata, nagsiksikan pa tapos sinarhan ang sarili nila sa loob.

Ang tingin ko naman, mas istupido ang salmon. Di naman kasya sa lata, nagpumilit pa kahit hatiin ang katawan.

Ang paboritong kong sardinas ay Ligo. Iba yong galling sa Pinas. Matamis-tamis ang kaniyang sauce, kahit di mo lutuin—ihalo mo lang sa bagong lutong kanin, lagyan ng kaunting asin, maupo sa harap ng TV, hawakan ang remote at manood ng TFC. Pag tinanong ng bisita kung bakit amoy sardinas ang remote, aling remote ?

Pag sinabi mong Ligo, ibig sabihin noon ay sardinas. Minsan may nakita akong sabon na ang pangalan LIGO. (Seryoso ako ‘noh). Mayron pa ba yon? Kasi sino naman ang gagamit na sabon na hindi lang nagpapa-alala saiyo na maligo kung hindi nagbibigay ng pakiramdam na kahit bago kang paligo, amoy sardinas ka pa rin.

Ang mga pulitiko ay parang delata. Iba ay sardinas, ang iba ay tuna.Mayroon puwedeng pagbukas mo ay puwede ng kainin. Kagaya ng mga sardinas na bangus.Kumpleto rekado. Parang sina Gloria, Ping, Raul at Eddie V.
Mayroong naman kailangang lutuin pa dahil hindi masarap kaya lang mura.Lagyan ng maraming kamatis at itlog. Tulad ni Fernando Poe. Recipe (take note sassy).

Ingredients:

1 can of Sardines brand 666

1 dozen tomatoes (very ripe)

1 dozen eggs
( expiry date within two days)
2 onions cut into rings

garlic/whole peeled

1 tbsp minced garlic

1 c cooking oil

How TO:

Heat a skillet. Pour in the cooking oil. When it is hot, sauté the minced garlic and the onions cut into rings until they are heavily browned.

Pour the content of the can. Stir. Put a little soy sauce. Serve hot. Taste. If does not taste good, cook again, this time with a tuna.

Para bang unity talk.

Ow, I did not forget the tomatoes and the eggs. They are very useful when you attend the political rally. They are meant for politicians who apologized for their decision to join the people to topple government. Lumalabas pa kasalanan ng tao ang pagkakarally behind him and Ramos to save their asses.

The CA t

The Hair on a GIL

Dear Mouse,

In her article on disqualification issue of Eddie G. the Sassy Lawyer who lives on a hill told Mark that the hair on a GIL is natural born . I agree with Ren that Sassy and the rest should chill out. Eddie Gil is heaven sent and not a boy from GIL. (hell) He puts a smile in our face.

The SC people must have acted on his appeal in order to stop him from coming back. Not everyone has Cheche Lazaro’s equanimity. No one can be sure how long they can keep themselves from laughing in front of him or his representatives. Besides, we, Filipinos would like to be entertained.

I saw Karen Davila interviewed Eddie G. and he was natural. He does not need an army of gag writers to deliver funny anecdotes. His funnybones must have rubbed off to his followers too.

Thru sassy and expectorant connections (bakit mo namang ginawa akong pusakal Resty? Gawin mo na lang pusagal. Ang pusang gala. hehehe) I found hypocrite’s feature of the interview of Eddie G by the Probe Team nakakaiyak . Naiiyak ako katatawa. Go and read. An excerpt is shown below. You can read more of these from Anp thru Kuwentong Tambay. Mark’s link to working mom is already outdated. She has moved Mark.

Cheche Lazaro (CL): Pasensiya na po, pero marami po kasi ang di nakakakilala sa inyo... Sino po ba si Eddie Gil?

Eddie Gil: Ako, ako si Eddie Gil.

CL: Oo nga po. Pero, paano ninyo po ide-describe si Eddie Gil? sino po siya?

EG: Ako... ako nga si Eddie Gil.



PROBE: Kamutsa po ang organization niyo na isang Bansa Isang Diwa?


CAMPAIGN MANAGER: Kami ang number 2 organization in the whole world!

PROBE: In the world?

CAMPAIGN MANAGER: YES. In the whole world!

PROBE: Sino po iyong number 1 sa whole world?

CAMPAIGN MANAGER: hmmm..[ after a while].. I can't remember.

PROBE: Is it in the magazine?

CAMPAIGN MANAGER: YES

PROBE: Could you give us a copy?

CAMPAIGN MANAGER: YES, we can give you a copy.. I've forgotten the magazine

The CA t

Denial Queen and Kings of the Day

Dear Mouse,
I stand corrected on the issue that rumor-mongering as a psy-war is over. The denials from both parties evidenced that it is still alive and an effective tool to make all camps aware of the "news" being circulated.

Some people deny because they believe that the allegations are false. Some people deny because they are not aware what is the truth . Some people deny because they are CLUELESS.

Nasaan ang kunsiyensiya kaniyo? Uso pa ba yon?

Today, April 15, let us give a round of applause to the denial queen and kings for the day.
.
President says she never called Poe a 'mere actor'

IYAM, Lucena - An irate President Gloria Macapagal-Arroyo on Thursday denied calling her archrival a "mere actor" and clarified that what she said was that he was "inexperienced." .

ROCO CAMP DENIES ACCUSATION

Lacson: Roco ally wanted P100M for ex-senator to quit

PAGUDPUD, Ilocos Norte - One of former senator Raul Roco's staunch supporters allegedly asked for 100 million pesos from Senator Panfilo Lacson in exchange for Roco's withdrawal from the presidential race and sliding down to being a senatorial candidate, Lacson himself disclosed on Thursday.

But in a Cebu Daily News report sent to INQ7.net, former Cebu govenor Emilio "Lito" Osmeña denied Lacson's accusation, calling it "one big lie."

Poe quitting? It's psywar, say KNP backers

LAOAG, Ilocos Norte -- Stalwarts of Fernando Poe Jr.'s Koalisyon ng Nagkakaisang Pilipino had their hands full on Wednesday dousing wild talk that the popular actor would soon withdraw from the presidential race.

Senator Edgardo Angara said reports of Poe's withdrawal was nothing but psywar by the opposition candidate's rivals.

KNP senatorial candidate Ernesto Herrera assailed the "vicious psychological warfare," saying the very idea of a Poe withdrawal was "foolish, ridiculous and absurd."

Poe media bureau staffers quit

Meanwhile, Poe was surprised when asked to comment on the resignations. "I don't know that," he told reporters. "If it's true, I'd like to ask them what happened."

When asked how the resignations would affect his campaign, Poe said: "We Poe said: "We will have to adjust.

If you ask me if I wrote this article today, I am going to deny it too. If you ask me if it is true that I was a UP kick-out, I will deny it too. Am a drop-out.

What is the difference between a kick-out and a drop-out?
Hindi ko alam ang kick out , pero ako, itinapon ng professor ko sa bintana. If you ask me why? I will deny that it happened.

The CA t

FREQUENTLY ASKED QUESTIONS- NOT

1. Punishment of disobeying the Mosaic Law was stoning to death. The Jews believed that Jesus committed blasphemy when He claimed that HE is the Son of GOD.

Why was he crucified ?

2. If it were the Romans who executed JESUS by crucifixion on the charge of subversion, why was he singled out in the Garden of Gethsemani and his followers were spared.

3. Was it really his crucifixion that saved us from the original sin or was it the teachings that basically were anchored on humility --- Humility that eliminates the sin of PRIDE.

4. If there was no betrayal of Judas, then there would be no salvation?

5. Did Roco leave because he has no more money to continue his campaign?

Bakit nauwi sa pulitika ? pero tuloy pa rin. If you have answers, please comment.

6. Did he think that he has no more chance to win so he is allowing Gloria to win with the view that she is a lesser evil than Poe?

7. Do you believe the rumor that the Administration paid him hundreds of millions to back out?

7. Did Poe visit Imelda to replenish his dwindling campaign kitty?

8. Did Estrada refuse to help him because of Loren?

9. What concessions did the Marcos Family get from Poe in case he wins?

10. Did the patrons/sponsors of Poe cease to donate in his campaign funds?

11. Ping Lacson is way below the survey results, how come has no problem with financial support?

12. From whom?

You are free to form your opinions. As to my responses to the questions....

Sumosobra na ang mga batang ire. Ako na nga ang nagtanong, ako pa sasagot. Nasaan ba yong aking tungkod.Hmppp
=) The CA t

Si Roco at Pork n Bins

Dear Mouse,
Kapapanaginip ko pa lang na end of the world na, biglang bumulaga ang article ni Manuel Quezon the TERD(hindi yong university at hindi rin yong probins) na naggive up na si Raul. Naroroco ba siya?

Trinace ko ang link kay Sassy at sa PDI.

Pag mahina ang puso mo, mamatay ka pag nakabasa ka ng headline o frontpage news kahit na nga ng broadsheet natin. Ang balita parang pork n bins. Malaki ang retrato ng meat sa label, kakapurit ang laman sa loob. Katulad ng balita kay Roco, hindi pa man nagcoconcede na maggive-up, ang headline ay nagiinsinuate na siya ay nagback out na. Susme naman, magpapagamot pa lang sa ospital at babalik naman. O di naman kaya ito ay strategy niya to make a gracious exit dahil balita ko wala na ring pera. He needs about one hundred million to pay the poll watchers. Di ko rin masisisi ang mga newswriters. They are compelled to write news banners that make headlines that will give you lines in your foreHead. Para bang totoo ba ito, sabay ang kunot ng noo.

Pero tama ang observation ni Sassy, kung totoong may sakit si Roco at iyan yata ang dahilan ng pagpupunta niya ng madalas sa Estet, mahirap ipagkatiwala ang administrasyon sa kaniya. Baka dumating ang araw, kung maging presidente,may sakit siya palagi, iba na pala ang nagdedesisyon sa palasyo. Para bang ala Mao Tse Tung na matagal nang nakaratay pero tuloy pa rin ang pagpapaniwala na siya ang nagpapatakbo sa gobyerno. O kaya ni Marcos, na matagal na ring pabalik-balik sa ospital, lumulubo ang mukha dahil sa mga gamot pero pinipilit pa ring paupuin sa kaniyang Presidential chair.

Masakit na sampal ito sa mga umaasa kay Roco. Araaaayyy. Sa survey ni Vicrenzo, ikalawa si Roco kay Gloria at ang diperensiya ay maliit lang. Sigurado ako na mga nasa middle at upper income bracket at mga bata (ahem) ang kaniyang respondents kaya walang laban si Poe doon.

Tapos na ang stage na disqualification dito at doon, tapos na ang kulapulan ng putik, tapos na ang mga rumor mongering. Nasa stage na ligawan, kumbinsihan at bayaran (minsan) o kaya ay mga trade-offs para ang isang malakas na kandidato ay mag-back out para ang kaniyang malaking botong dinadala ay mauwi sa isang mas malakas ring kandidato na nangangailangan ng marami pang boto para masigurado ang pananalo.

Ganiyan lang ang buhay. Ang mga nararapat ay hindi nailalagay. Huwag lang sanang isang bang mula sa bala ang maging dahilan nang pagkawala ng ibang kandidato.

Okay lang pag card ni BANGArtipuso ang matatanggap. Tenk yu sa card.

Hapi rin si Aling Ester saiyo.hehehe

The Cat

Easter Sunday and Corned beef

Dear Mouse,
I am not tall but am taller than an average Filipina. I have to thank my grandmother for it. No, she did not give me vitamins and other food supplements. She just made me stepped on a stool or a chair every Easter Sunday and jumped. Para raw tumaas. Then when I tried to measure my height after jumping, she would exclaim, wow tumaas ka ng isang pulgada. (inch). I suspected all the time that it was due to that butterfly ribbon that they adorned my hair. I hated it. My brother used to tease me that it was a helicopter parked on top of my head. Because of the height, I missed several opportunities to find a prince charming who did not have to look up in order to dance with me.

1. Grade one-my first crush (I talked about him already, I think, did I not? to the readers--why are you reading my thoughts?) He was 2 inches shorter than I was at that time so he was paired to another girl in a dance number in a school program. Ako doon sa isang mataba na magsayaw na akala mo duck. Sabi ni mommy, di bale na, itik-itik naman ang sayaw eh. But my brothers had a helluva time teasing me.

The next time I saw him, was when my mom arranged for our meeting in Makati. Sabi niya, naalala mo yong niligawan ka ng papa ni E. para pakasal daw kayo, paglaki ninyo? Nasa Makati sila nakatira at gusto kang makita. Wow, grade one lang pala ako, mayroon na palang akong pinagkasundo. I did not mind. I remembered him to be good looking kahit mas maliit sa akin..

So off we went. Intro, intro, beso beso. Tapos para bang pelikula---freeze frame-- Ala Piolo,ang dating. Susme, gusto kong sabih n, kumusta ba diyan sa baba? Hindi ba siya pinakain ng margarina na walang tinapay?.

2. Nanligaw na kaklase.. Type sana. Matangkad naman siya sa akin ng isang pulgada pag ako nakatsinelas. Hindi naman pwedeng magtsinelas sa junior/senior's prom.

My sister did not mind the height. Her husband is a few inches shorter. Natuto siyang magsuot ng flat shoes. My other sister is married to an ALIEN. Matangkad lang yong ALIEN ng kaunti. Hindi kagaya ng ibang Pilipina na hanggang beywang..

Ako, may nagkakamaling alien na dumalaw. Palagi namang nauuntog doon sa aking door chimes. Minsan mga ibon ang door chimes ko, hagip ng kaniyang buhok. Para bang nakakita ako ng nest with birds. Hindi na siya bumalik. Hianapan ko kasi ng itlog..

There is another superstitious belief na attributed to Easter Sunday. If the child is slow in speech development, my lola's advice was to get a key and make symbolic opening by putting the key between the lips of the child at the stroke of twelve on Easter Sunday. .

My mom confessed that they applied that to me too. At age two, I got a speech problem. While other children substitute y for l, mine was odd, I pronounced it with r instead. So when I liked to say---lalaro ako? I say rararo ako. My dad thought that the STORK must have made a stop over somewhere in Japan before I was delivered at their doorstep. You know this Stork story stuff?.

That was Easter Sunday. They got the key ready. Then the grandfather clock chimed. They looked for the key. They can't find it. Panic, panic. We had a can of corned beef in the kitchen cabinet. My mom got the key. Puwede na rin ba raw yon?

Now I know why I stocked up my pantry with corned beef..

The CA t.

Sabado De Gloria

Dear Mouse,
Sabado De Gloria is supposed to be more solemn than Good Friday. Sabi ng matatanda-- Patay pa ang Diyos, huwag kayong malikot.

I watched Ten Commandments again. One hobby that I adopted in the ESTET is to collect old movies. Yon bang mga pelikulang napanood ko noong bata at malaki na ako pero hindi ko napanood. Confusing ?

Like Gone with the Wind. My friends and I watched this movie when it was shown somewhere in the University belt, an old old movie but they said it is classic. I fell in love with Clark Gable (ba yun?) and I adopted Scarlett O Hara's resolve in Tara....that is never get hungry again literally and symbolically. So I always eat on time.

I missed a lot of scenes. My friend on my right cried a lot that I was distracted giving her my tissue paper, my hankie and a roll of toilet paper that I always bring with me. (peksman,kasi minsan wala niyan sa women's). My friend on my left was the other kind of breed of moviegoers. She empathized with the actors and actresses that she swore, she laughed and she cried with the heroine. I overheard her said ... sige, ganiyan, pahirapan mo, mga walanghiyang lalaki yan... Gusto kong banatan. The movie was more than 4 hours that we did not see its ending. Gabi na. Lagot pag-uwi. Ano kayang library ang huling magsara ?

I have watched Ten Commandments many times but it was only last Saturday when I noticed the prophetic remark of Cecil De Mille about people who have seen the movie making a pilgrimage where the Exodus happened. I did go to the place. But it was in Universal Studios where the parting of the sea is memorialized in a miniature version.

First time I saw the movie was not due to its religious message. My two brothers wanted to see the movie because it was only shown during Holy Week. They have to bring me along. Walang yaya. They heard so much about it and they wanted to see epic films. I did not care about the film. All I cared was the jumbo pop corn and coke that they gave me to sit still.

The next time I watched it again, I recognized the actors, Yul Bryner,...the King of Siam in the The King and I.( a movie in my collection too);Charleston Heston---from being the Deliverer, he was delivered in the Planet of the Apes. . I had a crush on Joshua played by John Derek. I did not get the names of the actresses though but I got the bangs of the Neferteri, the Queen of Egypt. (o diba). Later, I learned that John Derek was already old and married to BO DEREK. (ang taksil).

Oh yes, I remembered the most oftrepeated dialogues by the pharaoh. ..it shall be written and it shall be done. It got an impact in my well-being. I realized that history is made by Great men not the way it happened but the way they wanted it to be read by the future generations. (Erap must have been inspired by this when he had his own version of his trial.Sandali..I di-disable ko lang itong keys na politics ang gustong laging isulat. (hehehe).

I realized that I can make a resolution of what I want by writing it down. So during life's upheaval, when my hope was falling like dead leaves during Autumn, I just look at what I wrote and my hope is refreshed. SO IT SHALL BE WRITTEN, SO IT SHALL BE DONE. (The only thing that does not happen yet is to win a lotto. I kept on writing it on a post-it-note but that janitor in the office kept sweeping it away when the paper falls on the floor). Inggitero.

This time, when I watched it again for the nth time, I found out that the movie was more than a movie about Ten Commandments.

1. It was a love story. The usual love story where one loves the other that she can sacrifice for the sake of love.

a. The pure love of the Queen of Egypt to Moses that she did not hide from her husband. Even Rameses'threat of killing her with the same sword that he would use to Moses did not frighten her. In fact when her face was focused in the camera, she had that mysterious smile. Para bang sinasabi niyang bwahahahaha.

b.love stories of two mothers---the biological mother who gave him up in order to save him and the surrogate mother who gave up Egypt to be with his son in the exodus.

c. love of the Paharaoh to Moses as evidenced by the facts: 1. that he was willing to give the throne to him instead of his own son 2. he was willing to forget that he was a slave 3. he broke his own decree by saying the word Moses; the last word that he uttered before his death 2. a story of sibling rivalry 3. a story of intrigue and deception 4. a story of corruption 5. a story of power struggle 6. a story of human weakness that is losing faith

There are a lot more. Ten Commandments is not a story about the delivery of the slaves from bondage. It is a our story.

The tablets of stone did not change the world. It just showed us how these commandments were violated unabashedly by people who are supposed to be our deliverers.

Ironically, in the Philippines all the commandments that pertain to relationships with fellowmen are most violated. These are:

6. Thou shalt not kill. 7. Thou shalt not commit adultery 8. Thou shalt not steal. 9. Thou shalt not bear false witness against thy neighbor. 10. Thou shalt not covet thy neighbor's house, thou shalt not covet thy neighbor's wife

Bakit wife lang. May mga mang-aagaw din ng asawang lalaki di ba.
The CA t

Good Friday-2

Dear Mouse,
I was on leave since Thursday. In our department, I am the only Cat--holic--one is a Buddhist, one an atheist and the rest are Christians. Good Friday is not a holiday except for Filipino-owned-enterprises. An office associate asked what I am going to do during my break. Aware of the mixed reviews of the movie Passion, he was interested to know why we Catholics focus on the sufferings of Christ. He almost fell out of his chair when I told him, I will nail myself on the cross. O di nataranta siya.hehehe

Teachings daw oh.eh the whole Holy Week nga teachings na. I remember when our old folks would forbid us from:

1. bathing-magkakapekas daw...for kids, who had aversion to taking a bath---this was more of a respite from daily torture of being subjected to brisk swipes of rough face towels. (sa probins, hilod ang gamit). The yaya would not let you go not until you "sparkle" in cleanliness--reddish pairs of ears--red eyes--libag-free necks--and well combed hair. Then she dutifully cleaned the "wash room" with the water saved in the "catch basins" where we usually stood for our final rinsing.

The showers were used only by the adults , otherwise, the head of the family would get a heart attack upon seeing the electric bill. Yes, Virginia, there were such households that were never dependent on MWSS.

2. nailgrooming - baka raw masugat--hindi gumaling agad

3. making noises - ano raw kami Hudyo na nagsasaya habang naghihirap si J.( hindi ko alam ang ibig sabihin ng hudyo noon, akala ko sila yong sundalong nagpako kay J.

Pag nasa probins naman, bawal ang umakyat sa puno at maligo sa dagat.

If that was not suffering, what was?

The CA t

Good Friday 1

Dear Mouse,
Biyernes Santo

Araw ng pagmumuni-muni sa Huling Pitong Wika.

UNANG WIKA

Mga sinungaling na saysay, Paglait na walang humpay, Dahilan ng pagkayubay, Sa Krus ay nakalupaypay.

Siya ay hirap na nanalangin, Puno ng awa at panimdim Boses ay paimpit nang usalin, INYO PO SANA SILA'Y PATAWARIN.

IKALAWANG WIKA

Ako po ay aba at makasalanan, Hinihiling ko po ang kapatawaran, Ito ang dasal ng isang magnanakaw, Na sana siya ay kaawaan.

Sagot naman sa kaniyang dalangin, na Patawad at pag-ibig ay kamtin, SINASABI KO SAIYO NGAYO'Y DADALHIN, SA PARAISO AKO'Y MAKAKAPILING.

IKATLONG WIKA

Sinong ina ang hindi magdurusa, paghihirap ng anak ay nakikita, Lalo't alam niyang wala siyang sala, Lumaban man sila'y walang magagawa.

Kahit naghihirap sa taas ng Krus, Nakuha pa rin niyang mang-utos, Juan, bilin ko ko saiyo nang taos, HAYAN ANG AKING INA, alagaan mo ng lubos.

IKAAPAT NA WIKA

Hirap ay walang kawangis, Dugo ay naghalo na sa pawis, Sa nanginig niyang paos na tinig, Sumigaw siya ng malakas, puno ng pait.

BAKIT MO AKO PINABAYAAN, Tanong na tila naghihinakit, Kung nanamnamin tila siya ay galit, Sa Ama ba niya o sa taong malupit?

IKALIMANG WIKA

Ang ikaapat na WIKA ay sa Ama, Sa mga tao naman ang ikalima, AKO'y NAUUHAW ang wika NIYA, Hindi sa tubig kung hindi sa kalinga.

Uhaw siya sa pag-uunawaan, Uhaw din siya sa kapayapaan, Uhaw din siya sa pagmamahalan, Uhaw din siya sa pag-iibigan.

IKAANIM NA WIKA

NAGANAP NA, ang kaniyang wika, Anuman ang kaniyang sadya sa lupa, Pahimakas niya sa kaniyang binata, Hirap na ininda ng katawang lupa.

May lungkot, nguni't may saya, Kamatayan niya ay pansamantala, Muling pagkabuhay, galak ay dala, Kaligtasan ng lahat ang kaniyang nasa.

IKAPITONG WIKA

INIHABILIN KO SAIYONG KAMAY KALULUWA KONG MAYROONG LUMBAY, Ako ay yayao na at hihimlay, Kaluluwa't katawan muling mabubuhay.

Para rin itong buhay natin, May araw na tayo ay parang patay na rin, Bagong buhay ay muling hanapin, Nakatago lang yan, inyong bulagain. ayyy

The CA t

Guardian Angels

Dear Mouse,
Some tell me that I am childish to believe in angels. I prefer to use the word child-like for it is the innocence of the child that makes us see the world without prejudices.

Without innocence,we see the world with lables, judgments and distortions. We cover ourselves with layers of habits , fears,selfishness and anger that isolate us from our natural state. Sometimes these titanic forces ultimately destroy us and make us look for deeper meaning of life.

Great religions mention about angels. St. Ambrose, Dante, Dionysus attempted to define the ranks and orders of angels--seraphims,cherubims,thrones,dominions,powers, principalities, archangels and angels.

The archangels and angels are the guardians of people.

In the succeeding centuries, when salvation was focused on Jesus Christ, interests about angels waned although the NewTestament mentioned about the angels that the three Marys found in the tomb of Jesus Christ announcing His resurrection.There were also angelswho came after his temptation. It was an Angel who brought Him the Cup, the acceptance of which symbolized His readiness to perform His role as the Messiah.
The question is,if we have angels,why don?t we see or feel their presence. My mom told me that angels are more active before we reach the age of reason. After that age, he allows us to develop as a being with free will--from time to time ,warning us,reminding us and saving us from danger.

Why you do not have angelic encounter ? Try shedding the prejudices and forget the ego that makes us believe that we know everything. Whatever that we cannot fathom is to us unbelievable.

Try talkingto your angel.Adi has a name for you.

The Ca t

The Battle of Angels----Prequel to the Lord of the Ring Trilogy?

Dear Mouse,
The producers of the Lord of the Rings/Fellowship/Twin Towers and the Return of the Kings are contemplating to make a prequel with the focus on Hobbits. If my grandparents were alive, they could swear that the greatest prequel would be the Battle of the Angels where the philosophical question of the origin of Evil surrounds in one SIN called rebellious pride that was born in one beautiful Creation of God, Lucifer. But an interesting story about the origin of the creatures in the Middle World such as the fairies, dwarves, hobbits and other is that, they come from Angels. Angels that did not rebel but did not side with God too. I had no way to check this out, the bible said nothing about it.

My grandparents did not read John Milton’s Paradise Lost, either. I did not ask then but it stayed in my mind.

In Koran a poignant love story was about an Angel (Iblis) loving God but refused to bow to humans blamed the pride as the reason for the falling out.

---From Koran VII

And He created You, then fashioned you, then told the Angels, Fall ye, prostrate before Adam and they fell prostrate all save Iblis, who was not of those who make prostration.

He said, what hindered Thee that thou did not fall prostrate when I bid thee? Iblis said I am better than he. Thou createdst me of fire while him Thou didst of mud.

He said: Then go down hence. It is not for you to show pride here, so go forth . Lo thou art of those degraded.

The story matched with the Christian account about the rebellion of Lucifer ( light bearer in Latin) against GOD and the battle of angels that ensued later. According to the story, God created angels before the man and the woman. They were created according to HIS image and were endowed with the same powers. Were they the ones, GOD was talking to when He said on the sixth day, Let us make man in our image, in our likeness. Let them rule over the fish of the sea, over the birds of the air and over the cattle, over the wild animals and over all creeping things that crawl along the ground. Is this the reason why Lucifer rebelled? (italics mine). While he was anointed cherub and dwelled above the Throne of GOD, he was not really the ruler.

Lucifer (the name in Hebrew is Helel that means shining star) was so proud of his beauty and position that he thought he could rise to a level equal with God. The FIRST COUP D’ETAT. To be with such enormous power and his own kingdom to rule, he had to have followers. Although the deception of other angels were not written in the Scripture, we can say that unlike in the coup in the Philippines, the angels tempted were not disgruntled. It may just pure power driven.

God may have been a teacher. He is fond of testing his faithfuls. So he allowed the angels to be tempted in order to test their loyalties.

Look at the list of those (according to John Milton, in his Paradise Lost) who made the test, who failed and those who are conditional. They had angelic ranks of principalities, virtues, cherubims, serpahims and thrones. Those who were identified are shown below:

Passed

1. Uriel 2. Gabriel-this is the angel that appeared to Blessed Virgin Mary and Mohamnmed 3. Michael- this is the angel that is often portrayed to have driven Lucifer to hell with his mighty sword. 4. Raphael-the angel that drove Adam and Eve from Eden? 5. Uzziel 6. Ithuriel 7. Zephon 8. Abdiel

Failed

1. Satan 2. Beelzebub-some confused this as another name of Satan 3. Moloch 4. Chemosh 5. Azazel 6. Mammon 7. Dagon 8. Rimmon 9. Belial

There were other angels who fought beside Satan but were not in Hell. Shall we call them conditional. But conditionals mean they still have the chance to reform and go back to heaven. The Hebrew books said that there was no more chance for the fallen angels to occupy their previous positions. So where are they now ? Are these the creatures that inhabit the forest, the water and the air. Time and again, the fairy tale stories mentioned that they vanished when they no longer exist in the minds of people.

Conditional

1. Adramelic and Asmadai –two thrones 2. Arioc 3. Ramiel 4. Nisroc

In this Lenten season, I brood over the TEMPTATION OF CHRIST. When Jesus was fasting for forty days he was offered by Satan the riches of the world. Many must have thought that it is stupidity for Satan to deceive the Son of GOD because he is a GOD. But this was not he was after for. Satan was after the man in Jesus Christ. The creature of GOD that he got jealous of.

Many succumb to temptations for the riches. They did not realize that they could not bring them in hell.

The CA t

Ghosts, Angels and God

Dear Mouse,
Ghosts are spirits of the dead. Many or some (?) believe that when innocent children die and or good people die, they become angels. Some may have experienced to have received a message or a warning from their dead relative. When she was alive, my mom shared us a ghost story. She said that my deceased father appeared to her with a sad face. The apparition lasted for only a for a few seconds and the message was my brother was sick. He was staying with a relative in the province. She immediately left for the province and found my brother was indeed sick but was too shy to tell my uncle.

Yes, spirits do bring messages but their appearance to the mortals is different fromangels. Their presence is marked with a familiar scent (like the perfume used, the smell of the hair or clothes and or flowers) but a chill comes next. They usually come without feet (according to my mom) and either they appear as misty substance or in their original form depending on their abilities to reach the other side.

Angels

Angels are different. Their appearance is marked with warmth, light and colors. The feeling is that of happiness and calm serenity.

My lawyer friend is a religious woman but is a worry wart. One time our flight was delayed because the outbound plane had to wait for the transfer of a stroke patient to a hospital before it can allow boarding of passengers. She worried that we would never get home as early as possible. She received a disturbing news from home that her daughter got bitten by a dog. She was a widow and only a trusted nanny took care of the kids when she was away. The list of the chance passenger in the next flight kept on getting longer. We were a few names away from the last.

She sat down and prayed. Then she smiled at me. I thought she had gone loco. But no, she said that we can get accommodated in the plane. She nudged me to go with her in the counter. Hesitantly, I allowed her to push me between bodies until we came face to face with the airline personnel who was in charge of the check-ins. He got a poker face as he repeated to us the words. You wait.

Then came a Filipino and his daughter. He said the he was cancelling his flight. His blood pressure was on the high side and the daughter was worried that he might get worse if he flies.

My friend had already talked to him and the man was gracious enough to insist that we be accommodated instead. The personnel was hesitant at first when he saw our names at the end of the list.

Aboard the plane, I can not resist asking my friend how she knew what was going to happen. Can I now open an office for her and compete with Rene Mariano or Madam Auring.? She became an instant psychic.

She narrated to me how she prayed and felt two assuring hands on her shoulder with a whisper that we can fly. The experience gave her calm serenity and an inexpressible joy.

GOD

Cults are headed by people who claimed they receive messages direct from GOD. No messenger, no angel. They claim they have a direct line with the Universal CEO.

After I watched the special reports about these people, I am convinced that the lines may be a crossed line from Down Under. Someone is impersonating SOMEBODY.

While these cult leaders wallow in luxury, living in mansions, the real GOD was homeless. He and his disciples slept wherever their feet brought them. While these cult leaders ride the vans with convoys of bodyguards, GOD chose the lowly donkey and a worn banca of Simon that almost sunk due to the STORM. While the cult leaders collected imported and expensive wines, He had to convert jars of water into wines for a wedding of one of his disciples. While cult leaders collect expensive shoes, He walked barefooted. While cult leaders have loyal followers who serve as bodyguards and are willing to kill or die for their Master, the real GOD had to stop Peter from killing a soldier with his sword. While cult leaders are arrogant, He was meek that he taught the offering of another cheek. While the cult leaders claimed that GOD instructed them to vote somebody, HE said ---give unto Caesar ....

The CA t

The Cleft, the CAR and an Angel ? (angel stories 2)

Dear Mouse,
When I was a child, I was wondering why our ears are at both sides, our nose is in the middle of our face and there is a cleft on our upper lip. My playmate and I used to think that it was a canal for our nasal watery discharges. But why only one ,instead of two passages and why in the middle?

Then I heard from the old folks that to recognize a supernatural being like an angel, we should look for that cleft . If there is none, then he is an angel. They cannot explain why. They cannot tell what their sources were. They did not read books. So I presumed that these information were handed down from generations like our local fairy tale stories. (Yes we do have our own stories about dwarves, fairies and goblins). If you miss them, you failed to talk to old people in the province. They were more colorful than the Towers.

Then while reading about reincarnations and stuff, I read this:

--It is said and it is true that just before we are born, a cavern angel puts his finger to our lips and says:

Hush, don’t tell what you know”. This is why we are born with a cleft on our upper lips And not remembering of where we came from.

This is my own story. My older lady friend asked me to accompany her in Manila Hotel where her mother was billeted for one night courtesy of the airline company. Her flight going back to the US was cancelled due to engine trouble.

She was driving and she had to drop me home. It was past midnight and we just got past the US Embassy when the car engine coughed, chugged and slowed down and finally stopped. We looked at each other and as if by instinct, we chorused…paano na yan? Paano tayo makakauwi. We were deciding whether to call a cab or to walk back to Manila Hotel. Pero marami kaming abubot sa kotse. The moment we leave the car, lagot ang laman. That was the time when cell phone was not yet as popularly used as today; it is not only heavy to the pocket but it was also heavy as in HEAVY and bulky.(Ibig sabihin niyan, wala kaming cell phone).

Wait! There was a shape coming near towards our direction. My friend said. Baka ito yong angel na sinasabi nila noh?

He was one of those “ want-me-to-fix-ur-car-that –would cost you your arm, leg and thigh/ Isama na pati ang kuko-mechanics." They ride in bicycles and wait for driving ladies in distress.

He offered to fix for “I cannot remember” pesos. He gave as a guarantee that if the car did not start, we would not pay a single cent. My friend, desperate to go home in once piece with me as her responsibility, agreed.

He removed something from the engine of a car. I do not what it was. He replaced it with a “new one” and asked my friend to start the engine. Nothing.

He tinkered again and asked my friend to restart. Nothing. He gave up. He got a match and told us. Ito, pinakamadali and then sped away. Ayyyy...Bastos.

We decided to wait for a cab. You know taxis. They are like cops, when you need one, there is no one around.

Then two enormous headlights shone right in front of us. We did not notice when the truck came to park a few meters away in the opposite traffic. My friend whispered, saan nanggaling yan. Kanina pa ba yan? (Where did it come from and how long was it parked there? ).

The driver emerged from the truck and started walking towards us. Ngiiii, baka serial killer o kaya psycho?. My friend put up a brave demeanor while I was trying to visualize what would be the headline in the newspaper if ever. (Paranoid ako noh?).

He apologized for the blinding light but he said that it was dangerous to be in the dark. (Naku, kami pa ang kinatakutan).

He took a look at the car engine, pulled out something and instructed us to get inside the car. He told my friend that we should take the risk. He said that the moment, she started the engine, we should not stop even in traffic signals, just slow down and continue driving. Anyway it was early morning and there was a nil traffic. The moment, she stopped the engine, it won’t restart. He added that what he was doing was some sort of temporary relief.

My friend asked, how much. He smiled and waved us away. I thought I saw that he was missing a cleft.

The traffic lights were cooperating. It was all green lights. We reached my place, the engine sputtered and gave up the ghost. My friend stayed with us for the rest of the night(dawn)?

The next morning, we summoned the village mechanic to see the car.

He asked my friend…where was the…a part of the engine system. She said, it isn’t there ? No, was his reply. How were you able to drive the car without that? Did you fly? Niloloko yata ninyo ako.

Sabi ko na nga ba. Wala siyang cleft. My friend said…WHAT ?

The CA t

Angels on my Shoulder

Dear Mouse, One column I read was about angels. (not sure who the columnist was)Very timely for the Lenten Season. I am not a very religious person but I believe in Angels. Some people can write about supernatural beings living in the dark side of another dimension and make money out of it. People who write about angels do not make it to the top sellers' list. Rationalists do not believe in angels simply because they believe nothing ever happened that cannot be explained naturally. It is not that they do not experience the mysterious divine presence of angels but rather the mysteries are presented to them in such factual, reasonable way so as no one receives information that he can bear or be regarded as having lost the marbles for believing the inexplicable. Yes Virginia, angels do exist, in thought, in dreams and in flesh. However they are not fond of the Universal Studios breathtaking camera tricks and costumes dating back to the BC period. They come in disguise, yes in whatever disguise that people can accept , a surge of thought which others termed as intuition or in Tagalog as kutob, kaba, sense of guidance,a relative who has a heart of gold or just a friend who is always there for one's comfort during her trying times. Physically they are not the angels but their inspirations are angelic. It may come according to their spiritual and religious inclinations. A Buddhist may not talk about an angel with wings but may have been helped by a person who receive messages to help somebody. I may be talking about angels for days and I urge even the non-believers to read. I assure you that many of the stories I am going to share with you are true except for the story below because I want to drive home a point. I read it from one book and just added a few scenes. You may be able to relate your experience because their work may not be far removed from natural events but they usually come when you summon and least expect them. The shortest distance is not a straight line but one from your lips to God’s ears. Bear with me for this week as my angel on my right takes over the Lenten season while my angel on my forehead, the one who has the sense of humor plays tricks to my angel on my left. Miracles do not happen inn contradiction to nature; but only as contradictions to that which is known as nature.—St, Augustine…. I love this story about the priest who’s hanging for his life –marooned in the highest point of the area that was enundated by the water from swollen river. He prayed to God to save him and please send him an angel or angels. He thought he was a very good priest so that he deserved to see a miracle at the time he needed it. He had been hearing about his parishioners encountering these heavenly bodies but he himself had never experienced to come face to face with Someone mysterious. Came one banca(small boat) full of people that only a few inches of its part remain visible over the water. He declined the offer of the men since he visualized that his additional weight might just be too much for the poor little banca. Besides, he is waiting for the miracle. To make the story short, he missed a lot of chances to be rescued because it was not what the help he was expecting. He wanted something more “angelic” rescue. He died and he came face to face with the UNIVERSAL POWER. He asked HIM why He disappointed him. The POWER responded. I didn’t. In fact, I sent legions of them. Did you ever think why that boat did not capsize and the people still asked you to join them. Ordinary people would think of survival and their safety first before they add another head to save. You refused all attempts because you were waiting for a winged chariot perhaps, an army of angels to fly you to safety . But sorry, the chariots used by Spartacus and Moses are already stored for posterity and armies nowadays are just miracles of the computer and digital worlds. I decided to beam you up before Scotty does. Oooops, this angel of my sense of humor strikes again. The CA t

Daylight Saving Time

Dear Mouse, Times change (and we with time)so those who are affected by the DST, adjust your watch or clock especially in the bathroom. (reminder to myself). Maaga rin akong natulog kagabi kahit maganda ang palabas sa TFC. Live ang concert mula sa San Francisco. Pero pinatay ko ang TV. Hindi ko maisip bakit ang kanta ngayon ay pataasan ng boses na akala mo palaging sinaksak. Tumatanda na ba ako? Time flies. May project akong kailangan ng closure ngayon. Timing is everything. Lesson learned...ang pera nagpapabago sa tao. Lalong tumatayog. Sana marealize ng iba na lahat ng bagay sa mundo ay hiram, kahit kaluluwa. Pag dating ng panahon ay ibabalik din ito sa hiniraman. Huwag ninyo akong titingnan ng ganiyan. Natutuhan ko yan kay Brendan Frazier. Doon sa pelikula niyang Bedazzled. Paborito ko yong oversensitive siya at naluluha palagi pag nakita and sunset. Oversenstive din ako, lalo pag nakikita ko ang credit card statement ko. Back to serious mode. This too shall pass but I have to write it down as a reminder that those who cannot remember the past are condemned to repeat it. There are other fish in the sea. Huwag magtiyaga sa sapsap. Sus ginoo, bakit nauwi sa isda? The CA t

....

Dear Mouse, Birthday ngayon ng isang taong sakit sa puso ang idunulot sa akin. Marahil noong nakaraang buhay ko, ako ay nakasakit din, Di ba ang sabi nga, kung anong tinanim, yon din ang aanihin, Bakit kailangang hirap ng kalooban, akin pang danasin? The CA t

Milan

Dear Mouse, Tumawag ang aking kuyakoy. Nagpapakuha ng ticket papunta ng Milan. Bakasyon niya. Sabi ko M-ilang araw ? Hindi ako travel agency. Ganoon yon binata kasi. Sa kaniya, ako pa rin yong mas bunso. Pangatlong kapatid ko na siyang nagbakasyon sa Italy para makapunta sa Rome at kumustahin ang Papa. Pag-uwi ko, nakita ko ang tape ng Milan, yong pelikula ni Claudine at ni Piolo. Di pa ako nakapanood ng pelikula ng dalawang artistang ito. Ngayong taon, nanonood ulit ako ng pelikulang Tagalog. Para kasi akong tanga pag nag-usap kami ng mga kaibigan ko sa Pinas pag tinatanong ko kung sino ba yang artistang yan? Isa pa tungkol daw sa mga OFW sa Milan ang istorya. Huling nakakita ako ng ganoong pelikula ay ang lumang pelikula ni Leah Salonga na tungkol sa isang dalagang penitition ng kaniyang inang may-asawa ng iba dito sa Estet, iniwan ang kaniyang boypren na si Aga na isang marketing exec sa Pinas. Napasok na nag-aalaga ng matanda sa board and care si Leah Salonga bago ito nagkaroon ng bagong profession sa real estate. Sunod si Aga Mulach.Pumasok siyang katulong sa restaurant ng Pilipino na ang mga empleyado ay mga TNT para lang makasama si Leah na nagkaroon na rin ng admirer na Puti.Maganda ang pelikula. Magandang umarte si Leah. hindi lang talaga siya tanggap ng masa. Sandali bakit ba yong pelikulang iyon ang pinag-uusapan natin. Milan ang pelikulang pinanood ko kagabi. M-ilang beses na bang palagi akong nasasidetracked pag nagkukuwento. Sandali, nasaan na ba ako. Sino ba kayo? Ano ba ang pinag-uusapan natin. (Nadementia na naman si Cath). Hindi ako bilib sa pelikula. Hindi ko alam kong yong tape ang malabo o talagang gabi palagi nila kinukunan ang eksena dahil hindi sila mahahalatang nagshoshooting. Kung balak nilang ipakita ang hindi magandang kalagayan ng mga DH sa Italy,hindi sila masyadong successful. (arekup..opinyon ko lang yon ano).Hindi kagaya sa pelikula ni Leah kung saan ipinakita ang hirap ng maging caregiver. Pero ang relasyon ng mga may-asawa sa kapwa may asawa ay ipinakita at jinustify..dahil sa lungkot, dahil sa tulong at dahil magkasama sila isang kuwarto 'noh. Ipinakita rin nila ang eksampol ng sellout. Abugado, inhenyero at dating kolehiyalang tago ng tago para lang makatrabaho. Ang pagcross ng border para makarating sa Italy.Pero bakit sila palaging nagsisigawan? Sana matuto ang mga director nating gumamit ng mga expressions lang ng mata, ng bibig, pati tenga. Diyan nila hindi matatalo si Nora Aunor dahil siya ang may soulful eyes na kahit natutuwa ay mukha pa ring malungkot. Tingnan ninyo ang mata ko.ngeek REWIND: Unang narinig ko ito sa aking manicurista sa Pinas noon. Pumunta raw sa Europe ang kaniyang asawang na lay off sa trabaho para maghanap ng trabaho doon. Malaki ang ibinayad nila sa mga nagdadala ng Pilipino sa Europe. Nagtataka ako kung paano yon magagawa? Mga ilang buwan lang sumunod na ang aking manicurista. Ang hirap pa namang maghanap ng kasundo mong magkakalikot sa ingrown mo. Nalungkot ako. Nakipagtsismisan ako sa mga "sisters" doon sa beauty parlor. May mga kaalaman na hindi mo mababasa sa libro, o mapupulot sa aircondition mong opisina. Minsan ito ay napupulot pag nakikitsika tsika sa mga wala mang pinag-aralan ay may kaalaman sila sa kanilang lugar na ginagalawan. Ang sabi nga ni Lane Ogawa: Men here may perform poorly at tasks that we westerners might think are important, such as using a cell phone or computer, but I perform extremely poorly at important tasks here such as handling a long bolo knife to chop coconuts. Intelligence is relative to the environment. Tuloy tayo.Ayaw kong tawagin silang bakla. Let me use a politically correct term. Bading. Pangalan nila ay Sonia at Tina. (parang kapangalan ng mga senatorial candidates). Di ba Sassy? Sonia: Hoy mama, maraming mga linta na inaalok ang mga interesadong magtrabahong DH sa Europe. Kinukunan sila ng tourist visa pagkatapos pagdating doon, bahala sila sa sarili nila. Marami namang sumasalong mga Pinoys at Pinays dahil tulong din yon sa paghahati sa renta ng bahay. Ako: Magkano naman ang hinihingi ng mga lintang ito? Tina: (pinabilog muna ang bunganga at itinaas ang iginuhit na kilay)kuwarenta mil. Marami yon. Maraming guwapo na rin akong mabibili. Ahahay. (Sa kaniya ko ba nakuha yon?) Sonia: Sabi nila maganda ang buhay doon kaysa dito. Pero ang balita ko, kayod marino sila para mabayaran ang utang nila at makapagpadala dito ng pera. Ako: Kung hindi pala sa mga ganid na lintang nagsisingil ng pera, hindi sila maiinganyong pumunta doon? Tina: Ay oo mama. Alam mo naman ang mga Pinoy, pag nakitang may bagong repredyereytor ang kapitbahay dahil may padala ang asawa, kapatid, ina, anak na nagtatrabaho sa abroad, ginegyera ng babae ang asawa at mga anak na magpursigi ring maka-abroad. Sonia: Totoo yon. yong iba dahil lang sa inggit. Hoy bruha, lumabas ka diyan. Sasabunutan kita. Sigaw ng babaeng pumasok bigla sa parlor. Ako: SINOSIYA? nguso ko sa babaeng may limampung taon na at ang mukha ay tiratirahan ng mga collagen na isinaksak sa ilong at sa dibdib? Sonia: Dating asawa ni Reyna Pinyata, yong may-ari nito. Ako: Taas ang aking kilay. May asawa siyang babae? Tina: Oo naman ano. Dati siyang macho pero pagkatapos ng ilang anak, narealize niya na siya pala ay miyembro ng konfederasyon ng mga lumuluhod sa gabi hindi para magdasal. Huwag mong isnabin. Dentista dati yan. Reyna PINyata: Hoy, matandang hukluban. Bakit nagbubusa ka na naman. Hindi ka ba nadiligan kagabi ng boypren mong maton. Nakarollers pa ang loka. Sa totoo lang magkamukha silang dating mag-asawa. Dating asawa: Bakit hindi dumating yong pinangako mong pera sa akin. Reyna PINyata: Blah blah blah. Ako: Sige Sonia, babalik na lang ako para sa pedicure. Sonia: Sige Mama, salamat sa tip. Makahanap na ng guwapo. FAST FORWARD: Ngork ngork...oy nakatulog pala ako.. Credits na lang ang pinapakita. Nandoon si Lotlot de Leon ? Maulit nga. The CA t

Si Sisa at si Basilio

Wala pang isang Linggo ay rumaragasa na naman akong pumasok sa bago kong trabaho. This time, family corporation naman ito. Anong kaibahan nito sa single proprietorship? Wala, management wise, pero taxation, nageenjoy ito ng corporate tax rate na may fixed rate samantalang ang single ay may mataas ang income, mas malaki ang tax. Kaya yong pinamamalengke, pinapasuweldo sa katulong at pati allowance ng mga anak ay kiniclaim na deductible expenses. Bakit tinitingnan pa ng mga examiner ang mga supporting receipts? Ni hindi man nila tinitingnan ang libro. Sabi nila, mag-usap tayo dahil pag wala akong nakitang mali sa libro ninyo, kakainin ko. Sa isip ko, water o soda kaya ang panulak? Akala ko nga sa Pinas lang ginagawa ito pero noong pumutok ang iskandalo sa Enron, Tyco at iba pang malalaking US companies kung saan pati birthday party ng asawa ng CEO na nagkakahalaga ng 2 million ay chinarge pa sa operating expenses, ang pagkagahaman pala ay wala sa kulay ng balat, walang puti, walang dilaw at walang kayumanggi . Itim lang ang budhi. Sige magparty kayo sa kulungan. Pero sa Pinas, wala yatang nakukulong. Meron ba? Kung meron, taas ang paa. Sandali, naliligaw na naman ako ng landas. Family corporation nga yon at ang Presidente ay yong asawang babae. Yong asawang lalaki. Bise. Bise siyang maglaro ng chess, biseng makipagharutan sa mga babaeng empleyada, bise siyang kumain sa labas na hindi kasama ang asawa. Dalawa ang negosyo nila, isang pabrika ng t-shirt at isa ang gumagawa ng malalaking makinang tagaayos ng daloy ng kuryente. Ito ay parang drum na nakasabit sa mga poste ng kuryente. Ang laman nito ay mga imported na tela na ibinababad sa isang chemical. Bulto, bulto ang pag-importa nito. Dahil sa aking kuneksiyon sa bangko at sa mga forwarders/customs brokers, naging malaking tulong ako sa kaniya. Bale kanang kamay niya ako. Sa kanan nakapuwesto yong mesa ko. Pero ako kaliwete. ---sa pagsulat—saka sa pagkain, saka sa…. Habang nakikipagnetwork sa mga tao, natututo kang makisama at makiloko. Ako: Hello, puwede bang makausap si Jose Kabilang linya: Sinong Jose? Ako: Rizal, hindi nagbibiro lang ako. Si Jose Sanchez Kabilang linya: Akala ko si Sisa ka, nagbibiro rin ako. (thought balloon ko, ayos, kenkoy din). Anong department siya? Ako: Sa Foreign Kabila: Foreign ito, pero walang Jose Sanchez. Bakit hindi mo siya hinanap, boy friend mo ba? Ako: (Alam ko naman yon). Hindi , kikidnapin ko at pasasagutin ko pa. Kabilang linya: ako na lang ang kidnapin mo? Ako: Masasagot mo ba ang tanong ko? Kabilang linya: Ano ba yon. Ako: Kasi may palalabasin akong shipment, may kailangan pa raw diyan sa banko wala pa raw yong original docs. Kabilang linya: ano ang pangalan at anong lc number. Ako: Eto…sige papakainin kita sa…pag naibigay mo sa akin asap. Kabilang linya: Magkita na lang kaya tayo? Ako: (humihirit). Okay deal, next week, in the meantime, puwede bang ipadala ko ang secretary ko para mapick up yan? Kabilang Linya: Okay, maganda ba ang secretary ? Ako: OO Sa sekretarya… Punta ka sa bangko. Hanapin mo si….Pag guwapo at nagtanong kong maganda ako, sabihin mo. Mabait siya. Pag nagtanong kung matangkad ako, sabihin mo mabait siya. Pag pangit naman siya at nagtanong kung maganda ako, sabihin mo pinaglihi ako sa ampalaya. Maliwanag. Opo ang sekretarya kahit mas matanda siya sa aking ng maraming tulog. Epektibo. Hindi na siya nagpilit makipagkita sa akin, pero tuloy pa rin ang tulong niya sa akin. Masaya raw akong kausap sa phone. Hindi boring. Lalo kung may kailangan ako. Obvious ba? Minsan ay inutusan ko yon aming messenger. May samba ang sekretarya pag Huwebes. Bumalik ang messenger. May kasunod siya. Hindi naman siya pandak, at hindi naman matangkad. Ang mukha naman niya ay nasa harapan. Hanep, galing magdamit. Maputi at may pagkasingkit. Half day daw siya. By the way, si G raw siya. Bakit di daw ako makapagsalita. Sa Phone daw ang tapang ko. Ows? Sabi ng boss kong babae, take the rest of the day off noong pinakilala ko siyang tagatulong sa akin. Kunsintidorang matanda. Puwede bang i-charge sa business entertainment expense? Pakakainin ko lang sa isang Japanese restaurant. Sabi niya hindi naman siya naniningil. Gusto lang niyang Makita si Sisa. Okay naniniwala na ako Basilio. The CA t

Ahas, Talangka at si Hudas

Dear Mouse, Hindi ako nagtagal sa kumpaniyang yaon. Baka tumanda ako ng sampung taon. Ayaw kong maging pabrika ang aking katawan ng mga lason dahil sa inis, sa galit at sa stress na dala nang hindi magandang simula. Sa kulang kulang na isang taong nilagi ko roon, marami akong natutuhan tungkol sa buhay: 1. hindi lahat ng ahas gumagapang. Ang iba nakahigh heels, nakasapatos ng Marikina o kaya ay nakastep in. 2. hindi lahat ng tao ay may ugaling talangka. Ang talangka pag tinosta at isinawsaw sa suka, masarap. Yong ibang tao ay kagaya ng mga alimangong bato. Hindi makain, walang silbi, kung hindi tumakbo, mangagat at pumasok ulit sa ilalim ng bato. 3. Si Judas ay immortal. Hindi na siya nagkakasiya sa tatlumpong pilak. Marami na siyang conditiones, katulad ng taas sa suweldo, kapalit ng sikreto ng isang emplyadong kinasusuklaman. 4. may mga taong akala nila ang utak lumalaki habang tumatanda. Ayaw nilang magpaturo. Laking insulto sa kanila. Yan ang sinasabing papunta ka pa lang, pauwi na ako? Pero nakasakay siya sa kalabaw at ako ay sa kabayo. 5. Ibang tao ,may sakit sa atay. Palaging naninilaw. Naninilaw sila sa inggit. Naninilaw sila pag hindi sila napansin. 6. Wala raw matimtimang dalaga sa pabling na among matanda. Pag umuwi ka ng hapon, huwag ka nang bumalik sa gabi. Baka makita mo ang isang sekretaryang palaging late sa umaga na nag-oovertime sa gabi. 6. Malungkot sa taas ng puno, lalo 't maraming taong naghihintay na mahulog ka sa lupa. 7. May amo na ayaw ka hindi dahil sa wala kang alam. Ayaw ka niya dahil marami ka ng alam. Takot siyang makuha mo ang upuan niya. Dito ko naman nakilala ang isang taga bangko na nagturo sa akin ng pasikot- sikot sa importasyon at pagbabangko. Sabi niya, dati siyang seminarista na babalik din sa seminaryo pagkatapos ng isang taon. Sabi ko naman ako ay dating nobisyada na lumabas dahil hindi ko matagalan ang pagluluhod. Unang kita namin sa simbahan ng Santo Domingo. Siya ay nagsasabi ng totoo. Ako nambobola lang. Sabi niya, alam niya. Buking. Wala sana siyang girl friend. Magpapari naman. The CAt