The Boy's Message to the Mother

She peered in an undecided fashion at the house. From the veranda where I sat, I can sense that the woman appeared to be trying to make up her mind to enter. Three times, she paused at the gate and then walked again. The fourth time, she stood with her hand upon it and then with a sudden resolution flung it open and walked up the path.

That was the house of a fortune teller who was often consulted by a friend of mine everytime she had a problem with her boyfriend. The house was always full of people waiting for their turns to have their session with the lady.

The first time, I tried to consult her, she became blank. She said that some forces were blocking her power to see through me.

Interesting.

The woman took the seat next to me. The seats inside the waiting room were all taken.

She was strangely silent. Some people I met in that place usually strike up conversation by asking if I was a regular followed by, “Marami na bang nangyari ?

Then the smell. It was a smell of smoke. It was a smell of fire....burning flesh.

I could not breathe. The woman looked at me and panicked.The smell was getting stronger. She run inside and called the fortune teller. The smell went with her.

She came back with my friend and the psychic. The smell came back.My friend was about to ask me what’s going on.

Funny, I was responding to her question without feeling my mouth opened.

“ I feel cold.” Yes, I was shrivering. A cold wind wrapped around me.

“ I feel hot”. Yes, I can feel something near burning.

More...

Is pers labs never dies and howcudu

Sa amin hong community blog ay may mga suggested topic upang pag-usapan. Ito ho ang napili ko na "suggestment ni Ate Sienna ng famous na "pansitan".

Dear mga kablogkada,

My pers labs died already. Take note, plural ang sinulat ni Ate Sienna, labs.

Per lab ko yong grade one. May hinala ako na sawa na ang aking Fader pagsundo at paghatid sa aking school kaya kinausap niya yong kaklase ko na anak ng kaniyang kumpare-na-hindi-ko naman-ninong-kahit-ng-mga-kapatid ko na isabay ako pagpasok.

Masaya kami pag pumasok, kuwentuhan at biruan. Pag walang iskul, tambay siya sa bahay. Grade one, pa lang tulungan na kami ng asayngment.

Tuwang-tuwa ang aming mga magulang pag nakita kaming magkasama at sinabing paglaki namin, ipakakasal kami. Mga kunsintidor.

Kaso, nagkahiwalay kami nang kami ay lumipat na ng tirahan at iskuwela.

Tapos, mayroon sanang "remake" ang aming love story nang lumaki kami,kaso hindi siya lumaki. Bansot siya noong maging dalagita at binatilyo na kami. Bwahahaha.

May selosan pa noon kahit bata pa. May malisya na talaga. May tampuhan pa. Pag duma- rating kasi siya nagtatago ako at ayaw kong kausapin. Hitsura ang bibig ni Angelina Jolie sa aking pagmarakolyo. Kornikono ? Hindi ako nageselos, noh. Ayaw ko lang siyang magpartner sa sayaw sa ibang goirls.

Second lab ko grade tri. O di ba, may pagitan namang isang year.

Kaklase ko siya. Siya ang candidate sa pagkavaledictorian. Ako naman candidate sa pinakamaraming tawag sa guidance counsellor's office.

Maginoo siyang kumilos. Malapit siya sa kaklase kong si Mae, isang mestisang 'Merkana.

Maganda, maputi at mahinhin.

Call it puppy lab, pero gusto ko siyang mapansin ako.Hindi ko na hinihiram ang shirt ng aking kuyakoy. Nagsimula na rin akong magpulbos.Makapal. Sabi ng kuyakoy, parang nasubsob ako sa abo.Nag-aaral na rin ako.

Sabi ni fader, baka raw naabduct ng alien ang kaniyang anak at ako ang ipinalit.

More...

The Garden of the Good and Evil--Saddam,Stewart and the Ca t

Dear mouse,

This news article about Sadam and Stewart into gardening made me realize that I was not a wacko when I would retire to my little garden to ease the tensions and stresses in my life, moons ago.

According to a recent article about Hussein's life in prison, the deposed Iraqi dictator spends the hour he is allowed out of his cell each day tending a small garden in the prison yard. Well that's just great. I suppose even a murderous tyrant needs a hobby. Maybe it helps him unwind. But this is more bad press that we gardeners don't need. In the current political climate, the last thing we want is for gardening to be associated with our country's arch enemy. The government already gets suspicious when people buy large amounts of fertilizer. Next thing you know they'll be trying to subpoena our seed purchase records under the Patriot Act.

Stewart could have stayed out of jail while her appeal made its way through the judicial process. If she did that and then prevailed on the appeal, she would have avoided prison altogether. But she showed up at the jail in October so she could complete her five-month sentence in time to begin her spring gardening.

When I was still in the Pinas, there were days when I was working 24/7. No,I was not in the medical profession. It was pure greed, honey and out of sheer necessity and lust for material things.

There were projects that I have to finish and deliver aside from my 9-5 work sked that could not afford me to buy a decent car but gave me an academic title that I am privileged to use. Besides, there is no such thing as enough for money. The more you earn, the more you spend.

My only break was a little sleep in my couch/bed/desk and a few hours in my garden. Yes,Virginia, I had a little garden; so little that I can appreciate the flowers without having to strain myself, walking. That's where, I sat in my garden chair, talked to my plants not to encourage them to grow and blossom but to talk about office politics, projects that I wished I could finish in due time and incoming projects that I have to accept. That's where I mulled on relationships and meditated on what decisions to make. Oftentimes, I would ask the plants. Siyempre hindi sumasagot,ano.

Some neighbors spied on me and thought that I was going loco. I didn't mind.

As long as my plants would not shrink for making them as my Shrink, I did not give a damn.

It's a pity that I cannot do gardening in my place. I got a wide backyard but the culprit is my addiction. Yes, I am a certified addict to blogging.

Btw,have you seen the movie, THE LAST EMPEROR?

He too was given the task of gardening in his twilight years in custody.

The Ca t

Isn't it about time?

Dear mouse,

Isn't it about time to let the Pope retire and enjoy his last few days in the planet Earth.

I just don't like this statement from a non-medical staff in the person of the Vatican spokesman.

In an unusually detailed medical briefing here, chief Vatican spokesman Joaquin Navarro-Valls sought to tamp down the worst fears about the condition of the weakened 84-year-old pontiff: that the operation Thursday night had left him essentially unable to communicate or breathe on his own. Such a situation could raise difficult, possibly immediate, questions about his ability to carry on his duties.

He said John Paul was communicating by writing in a notebook, a detail that seemed meant to imply that his mind was sharp and that he was capable of carrying out church business.

The candidates for Papacy are getting old too. By the time of electing the new pope, many of them are already septuagenarians.

Bakit nagkainteres ako sa Papa,kahit binanatan ko si David Brown sa kaniyang Da Vinci Code?

May paniniwala kasi ako na may power behind sa behind. Hindi galing sa above ha.

You remember the pope who reigned only for a month or so then died mysteriously? If gossips were to be believed , then there were powermakers or powerbrokers who were afraid that there may be shady transactions that may be unearthed or "unhelled" by the newly-elected pope.

Pardon me, it's just me cblack (hindi dbrown) overload writing.

The Ca t

The Corporate jungle Beckons-Hindi pa The End

Tinatanong ni frat, kung ano ang buod ng aking mini-serye na Corporate Jungle Beckons.

Palagay ko marami sa aking mga tagasubaybay (tagasubaybay—ano ako manunulat ?... fantasya ko lang yan folks, pagbigyan si Pusa) ang nabasang ako ay nag-ermitanya ng anim na buwan. Oo, Birhinya, ang taong hindi ihinahahapay ng malalakas na bagyo ay natakot lumabas at masinagan ng araw. Ang taong tagatapik sa balikat nang mga nanlulumo, ay lumaylay ang balikat.

Ang mga kapatid ko ay nabahala. Nag-alok ng tulong. Nag-alok ng pera. Nagpadala ng pera. (Salamat ha. mayroon pa bang darating?) Aray....nagbibiro lang.

Kung baga, ang mundo ay tumigil pag-inog. Sa akin lang dahil ang kabubuan nga ng serye ay isang paalala sa buhay na ang iyong pagsubok sa buhay ay hindi pahihintuin ang pag-inog ng mundo para ka hintayin.

Kailangang tumayo at lumakad muli.

Bago ako nagdesisyon na muling magpalaot sa kagubatan ng pagsasapalaran, isang matandang babae ang aking nakausap.

Ring: Can I talk to Cath ?

Me: May I know who’s callin’?

Ring : This is Nurse Mel from (a very upscale retirement home for rich Jewish people).

Me: This is she.

Ring: I would like to inform you that as of 7 this evening, Mrs. -----fell in the dining room of the facility. She’s in bed right now..her vital signs are....

Me: Wait a second....did you call the daughter ?

Ring : Aren’t you the daughter ?

No canned laughter, folks. This is serious.

Me: No.

Ring: But you are one of the contact persons.

Tagalugin na po natin dahil minsan naliligaw ang anak dito. Pilipino rin ho ang nars doon.

Ring: Tinawagan ko yong anak na babaeng abugada. Nasa Japan daw. Sa Hunyo pa ang dating..

Tinawagan ko ho ang anak na doktora. Nasa bakasyon din. Tinawagan ko rin ang anak na lalaki, answe- ring machine lang ho ang sumasagot.(Sa isip ko, ako lang sasagutin non sa caller ID niya. mwehehehe).

Pangalan mo ang sumunod. So ang pagkaintindi ko next of kin ang mga nakasulat dito sa contact persons.

Me: Hayaan mo tatawagan ko ang ermitanyo niyang anak. Sabihin mo dadalawin ko siya bukas.

Kinabukasan.

Nasa dining room siya ng facility. Mahigit dalawampung palapag ang retirement home na yon ng mayayayamang matanda. Hindi mo siya aakalaing retirement home dahil para siyang condominium diyan sa Pinas. May mga two- bedroom, three- bedroom units kung saan nakatira ang mag-asawang matanda na maaring magbayad ng sampung libo isang buwan para sa lahat-lahat na hindi kasama ang bayad sa pagbili doon na nagkakahalaga ng 500,000 hanggang isang milyong dolyar ang isang unit. Pag namatay ang matanda, babalik sa retirement home ang apartment.

Ano ang kasama lang sa mga serbisyo? Pagkain, ang 24 hour-na available na medical at nursing services. Ang mga activities para sila ,malibang.

Pag gusto nila ang private nurse, sariling bayad na nila yon.

Pag sila ay hindi na kayang mabuhay na mag-isa at kailangan na nila ang mabisita oras-oras ng nars, sila ay inililipat na sa second floor kung saan sila ay nasa isang kuwarto na lang o kaya ay dalawa sa isang kuwarto o kaya ay tatlo o apat.Kumporme sa social status ng residente. Sino ang mga naroroon na maaring makapagbayad ng ganoong kataas na halaga isang buwan? Mga magulang na nagpayaman at ngayon ay kailangang alagaan ng kanilang mga tagapagmana pero hindi sa kanilang sariling tahanan.

Ang matandang babaeng dinalaw ko ay may sariling kuwarto sa second floor. Naroon pa ang mga paborito niyang mga works of art na naipon niya noong siya ay may painting gallery.

Nangilid ang luha niya nang makita ako. Depressed siya.

Malungkot. Hinahanap ang mga anak at kaibigan. Ang pakiramdam niya ay nag-iisa na lang siya sa mundo.

Ako rin depressed at feeling abandoned ng mga kaibigan. Kaibahan,ang mga kaibigan niya ay karamihang namayapa na. Ang mga kaibigan ko ay mga bata pa at buhay.Sa isip ko, anong ilaw ang ibibigay ko kung ang sa akin ay pundido? Anong init ng araw ang aking ibibigay kung ang aking kalooban ay mayroon ding unos?

Di pa rin ako kumukupas. Best actress pa rin ako,kagaya nang pinanalunan ko sa school play namin nang ako ay gumanap na baliw at sira-sirang mamamatay. (Natural kasi yon. hindi ang pagkamamatay..ang baliw noh.)

Naipakita ko sa kaniyang ako ay masaya. Ang halakhak namin ay naririnig hanggang nurses’ station.

Sabi ko sa kaniya, napagkamalan akong anak niya noong nars kaya nagreport sa akin ng kaniyang medical condition.

Sabi niya: But you are my daughter. May dementia ho siya minsan.

Oh, you are not my daughter, but you are more of a daughter to me than....

Alam niya na may sakit din ang aking puso. Hindi siya tumanda nang walang pinagkatandaan. Mga mata lang daw ng tao ay magpapakita na nang sinasaloob.

Ito lang ang sinabi niya.

Ang pagsubok sa buhay ay parang kumukulong tubig.

Ilagay mo ang carrot na matigas, ito ay lalambot.

Ilagay mo ang itlog na babasagin, ito ay titigas.

Ilagay mo ang kape, ito ay hahalo sa tubig.

Alin ka doon?

Sa isip ko, ako ang itlog.

Kaya lang hindi boiled egg kung hindi malasado.

Ayaw kong masyadong matigas dahil baka mawalan ng puwang ang pagpapatawad ko sa mga taong itinuring kong kaibigan.

Gusto ko rin ng malasado para hindi masira ang aking tiyan at ako ay umutot. Mabaho ang utot dahil sa itlog.

Ano ba ang pinagsasabi ko. Itutuloy muna.

Salbahe itong pusa ko sa kaliwa. Gusto talagang magpatawa.

Have a nice weekend, folks.

The Ca t

The Corporate Jungle Beckons-Part 3

Dear mouse,

Kinausap ako ng mga hayup sa kagubatan.

Nagsimula sa OWL. Siya yong tumawag. Inulit niya ang pinag-usapan namin.

Pinaghintay niya ako. Kakausapin daw ako ng LEON. (President/CEO).

Habang naghihinyay ay kinuha ko ang Annual Report na nakabuyangyang sa coffee table.

Uhmmmm babae ang Leon. so hindi ang aking pagkababae abg dahilan dahil pati ang Director sa Sales ay babae.

Uhmmm, my hyphen ang kaniyang last name.

Interesting. May dahilan kaya ito na may hyphen, sa isip ko. Pati iyong isang exec na babae, pareho ng middle name niya.

Basa ulit. Uhhhhmmm, Chairman of the Board, pareho ng middle name ng LEON.

Ang pag-akyat sa corp. ladder ng babae ay minsan dahil sa pagpapakasal sa tamang lalaki o kaya pagkakapanganak sa tamang pamilya.

Puwera si C.Fiona ng HP.

Minsan may nabasa akong article tungkol sa isang successful na lady exec. kung paano siya naging successful. Nagtataka ako wala naman siyang masyadong achievements.

Kamala-mala ko, may nakapagbulong sa akin na kabit pala siya ng maimpluwensiyang heneral. Sa Pilipinas po ito.

Teka, hilahin ko muna ang sarili ko. Nawawala na naman ako.

Tatay niya siguro si Tserman kaya "nahirapan" siyang umusad siya sa corporate hierarchy of power. *naughty grin*.

Nice pearls.

Bati niya sa akin.

Tenk yu.sabi ko. Marunong siyang tumingin ng maganda.ahahay.

Bla,blah,blah.

Pinagamit muna sa akin ang lamesa na malapit sa daanan ng mga diyoses.Lamesa yon ng isang babaeng exec na kapangalan ng Leon kaya marahil pumasok siya kung gusto niya,kung ayaw ay maglakbay siya. Sarap ng buhay ng may kutsara na pilak.

Ang mga diyoses ay may sari-sariling lungga, samantalang ang mga karaniwang mortal ay nakukulong naman sa kani-kanilang mga sariling bakod na pinaghati-hati para hindi sila magkita-kita habang nagtatrabaho.

Aha ang kapihan,microwave at ref ay nasa isang sulok. Hindi puwedeng magbaon ng tinapa at iinit sa micro o kaya ng daeng. Pag hindi nagpulasan ang mga tao doon.

May internet lounge. hhehehe. Doon puwedeng maglunch. May libreng kape, tea at may I-MAc.

Hmmmmm, ang aol nila ay version pa nang kasalakuyang namamayagpag pa si Steve.(dating CEO ang AOL).

Puwedeng macheck ang aking e-mail,blogsite.

Naupo na ako sa desk. Binuksan na ng Controller yong system gamit ang password niya.

Sus ginoo, nasaan ba sila nang pinagduduldulan ni Gates ang Durungawan na 2000,ME at XP.

Patawarin, sila ay nasa 98 pa.

Tagal pa magload. Parang gusto ko munang magshopping sa GAP na malapit lang sa amin para mapunuan ko yong gaps sa paghintay ng pagbukas ng 'pyuter.

Pero, nakangiti pa rin ako. Policy kasi raw doon ang maging friendly at palaging nakasmile.

Iniisip kom lagyan ng lock(parang si Sandra Bullock) ang aking ngiti para hindi mapawi.

Nabuksan rin.ngayon yong property management system naman nila.

Ekkk,jurassic pa.

Yon yong dos-based pa na mahirap magpalipat-lipat sa iba-ibang libro na hindi ka magiging fugitive kasi panay ang hit mo ng ESC button. Samantalang ang huling ginamit ko na sistema ay yong inimplement namin nang ako ay bago sa huling opisinang pinagtrabahuhan ko na dinusta-dusta ko rin ang sistema nilang matanda pa kay Mohamed.

Windows-based siya at puwede akong magpa deport ng data sa Excel o kaya mag-import pabalik sa system ng hindi na ako kailangang lumabas na may passport ehe password pala.

Kung minsan kasi ang mga boss sa kuwentahan ay matatanda na kaya takot silang gumamit ng makabagong sistema,kaya hindi sila nagrerekomenda ng upgrade o kaya magpalit ng ibang sytem ng pagkuwenta ng kinita ng kumpanya.

Ang kanilang printer ay dotmatrix.Ahhhhhhhhhh. Ang ingay niya ay parang rap. Pag nag-aberya, sira ang buong print-out mo. Sa katagalan pa puwede ka munang magkape ng kalahating dosena habang sinasabayan mong indak ang ingay ng printer. Ang printer ko sa bahay ay copier na,scanner pa at digicam chip developer pa. Doon sa dating opisina naman ay laser. Segundo lang ay may print -out ka na.

Kaya naman pala ang backlog nila ay November pa.

Hmmm, katapat ng aking desk ay ang lungga ni Pedro. Sunod siya kay Leon. Tangkad. Guwapo, m're. Palaging bati kay Cath. Hmmmm, hinhin ka lang, Day. Alalahanin mo ikaw lang ang nay-pi sa malaking organisasyon na yon na isa raw sa criteria ng pagkuha ay kailangang maganda ka. O di naloka kayo.

Kaya lang bakit, ganoon ang imbay ng kaniyang balakang. Magaya nga. Kaya lang baka kurutin ako. Tanungin ko kaya kung ano ang beauty secret niya.

Wala bang macho dito. Halos lahat yata ay kafatid ko sa federasyon.

Pati yong Owl, mader din ang dating. Siyanga pala, sabi niya sa akin, bawal ang maong kahit na kasing ganda ng maong na suot ko. Kailangan ay business suit ang suot, palagi.

OO, kahit akong Consultant lang.

Aha magagamit ko na naman ang aking mga steam-pressed na pantalon. Doon kasi sa huli kong pinagtrabahuhan ay casual dressing lang.Casual as in shorts pag summer na sleeveless pa ang shirt ng mga Puti at Itim na mga empleyado. Inis ako. Noong una, hindi ko magawa, kasi galing din ako sa financial district noon na ang dress code ay talagang pangbusiness.

Pero noong tumagal, kesehodang pumasok ako nang nakatsinelas at nakaoversized shirt sa puruntong.Feeling ko mamalengke lang ako sa Divi.

Hanggang ipinatawag ako ng lady boss namin noon na ako raw ang ginawa niyang role model sa pananamit yon pala ako ang nahawa sa kanila. Sala sa lamig,salasa init.

Anyway , hiningi ko na ang chart of accounts. Ipiprint daw.Sabi ko hokey, I will take a break. Sa totoo lang sa tagal siguro kung may malapit lang na cinema,puwede pa akong magdouble.

Palagay ko tama na ang kumita ng sapat na pambili ng manok na madidildil kung sakasakali.

The Ca t

The Corporate Jungle Beckons- Part 2

Dear Mouse,

Ituloy natin ang story of my layp.

Tumunog ang telepono. Hanap si Cath.

Me: This is she.

Hindi ako sumasagot ng YES sa telepono.May mga scam kasi noon na isiswitch ka ng phone service provider thru your taped yes na parang short for authorizing them to do the switch. Kita ninyo ang mga kalokohang dito.

Isa pa baka magising na lang akong kasal thru remote dahil sa pagsabi ng YES.

Erase,erase.

Sandali, nalalayo ako sa usapan.Pardon me while I pull myself back. uhmmm.

Sandali higop muna ng kape.

Sa madaling salita, sabi niya, aalis na ang controller na nakuha nila.OO, yong lalaki, yong Puti. Hindi raw nagdeliver.

Magulo pa rin ang kanilang departamento ng pagkukuwenta.

Aalis na raw.

Sa isip ko, kung i-oofer ninyo sa akin yan. pahinog kayo, ano second fiddle.

Parang nabasa ang isip ko.

Hindi raw nilai-oofer ang position.

Mindreader talaga siya.

Nagdecide daw ang board na i-promote ang kanilang staff kahit hilaw pa.

Lalaki pa rin.

So why call me. Tarayme noh?

Kasi raw,hindi marunong magtrain yong aalis at ni hindi pa naayos ang mga dapat ayusin.

Takot din silang isabotahe ang kanilang sistema.

So ano ang papel ko? Isip ko lang yon.

Sabi niya kung interesado raw akong tulungan sila sa transition at ang papasok na Controller.

Mind reader talaga siya.

Bilib daw siya sa ekperensiya ko nang pag-aayos ng mga dapat ayusin sa departamento ng pagbibilang.

Bolahin mo ako. Sa isip ko lang.

Hindi raw niya ako binobola.Im pakt, boto siya sa akin noon. Kaya lang kayumanggi.

Sa isip ko lang yong huli.

In short,gusto niya akong gawing nanny noong batang lalaking i-popromote nila bilang Controller.

Hohum...

Sabagay madalas ko ng role yan.Lalo sa mga taong nagdudunong-dunungan at malakas lang bokabadura.

Sabi ko bibigyan ko ang sarili ko ng ilang araw para maassess ko ang kagubatang aking papasukin.

At temporary lang. Ang sakit ko. Ang puso ko ang iniisip ko na naman pag ako nastress.

Dahil desidido na akong tumanggap ng supporting role lang sa mga pelikula sa BACKROOM office. Walang stress.Walang report na minamadali.You play dumb and off you go at five o-cleck.

Hige. magkikita kami.

Sabi niya, tomorrow>

Sabi ko day after tomorrow.

Wala pa sa condition ang sarili kong lumabas. May ginantsilyo pa ako. (pahiram nga ng tumba-tumba,kiwi.)

Gumising ako nang maaga. Para makablog muna, bago umalis. T@#$%^ addict talaga. nwehehe.

Binuksan ko ang aking closet ng damit. Umalingasaw ang pabango na pumapatay ng gamu-gamo. Kailangang maipagpag muna ang damit at baka hindi lang gamu-gamo ang lumayo.Ehmmm.

Pinili ko ang kulay talong na 'merkana'(business suit) kuno.

Pinailaliman ko ng striped na pang-ilalim na light violet.

Isusuot ko rin sana ang aking pin striped na kulay talong na slacks pero baka mapadaan ako sa fresh fruit and vegetables market at makita ako ng kamatis, ampalaya ay dumikit sa akin para magpaluto ng pinakbet.

Uhmmm, maong na lang ang sinuot ko.

Ano kaninyo ?

Hindi match ?

Susuotan ko naman ng medyas na pula at boots na purple, o di ba?

Anyway, ilang sandali lang ay kasama na naman ako sa agos ng mga taong nagtatrabaho sa financial district ng siyudad.

Mga babaeng sopistikada na mga nakasuot ng itim na business clothes either nakaslack o nakapalda at itim na medyas.

Pero nakarubber shoes at bitbit ang kanilang mga sapatos na gawa sa minarder na baka.

Ano ka nababaliw maglakad ng malayo sa taas ng takong. Sa first block siguro, sexy pa.Sa second block, tagilid na. Sa third block siguro, iinkang-ingkang ka na.

Kasabay na naman ako ng agos ng mga yuppies na may hawak ng starbucks sa kaliwang kamay.

Sarap bungguin para matapon.Inggit lang siguro ako dahil hindi ako marunong uminom ng kape na naglalakad. Isa pa mas gusto ko ang kape sa opisina, libre. Cheap ko noh? Pero mahigit isang dolyar din yon isang araw. Sa isang buwan ay mga 30 dollars din yon. Sayang. May pangtaya din ako sa slot machine. Hehehe magbibiro lang po.

Kasabay na naman ako sa agos na laylay ang balikat sa kanilang mga laptop o kaya ay naglalakad na binabasa and biniling diyaryo sa halagang 25 cents para lang itapon sa recycling bin bago pumasok sa opit.

Ahhh huwag ninyo akong pagbintangan na pinupulot ko yong tinatapon nila. Kung may makakita pa sa akin.

Meron din akong binabasang diyaryo noh. Pero yon yong libreng makukuha mo sa newspaperbox na nakalagay, FREE.

Sensiya kayo, nahawaan ako ng dati kong boss na si James Bond, Hudyo kasi yon.

Bago ko marating ang aking paroroonan ay nakita ko ang mga nagkalat na mga tukso. Sa isang kanto ay ang SAKS fifth, sa isang kanto ay ang GUCCI, halos katabi ay ang KENNETH COLE. Muntik ko ng ipikit ang mata ko pero lalo itong nandilat ng makita ang VICTORIA's secret. Hmmmmm palitan ko na kaya ang aking mga brief.

Kasi si Batjay, naglalaba ng kaniya.

May umaalma sa aking bulsa. Tinapik ko ang aking credit card. Tumahimik ka.

Itutuloy.

The Ca t

The Corporate Jungle Beckons---Ahhhhhhhhh

Dear mouse,

Tagalog po, para hindi maintindihan ng mga poregner.

Ito ka na naman, tukso ng tukso.Sawa na ako sa mga presentasyon ng mga numerong ako lang ang nakakaunawa sa mga taong nakaupo sa mesang yon dahil lang sa libreng kape at meryenda. Pero ano ba ang naintidihan nila sa mga salitang "variance", overdraft, overhead...

Ito na nga lang ang mga salitang hindi ko maaring paliitin o gawing simple nang hindi ako magkandatutuwad para lang maintidihan ng mga taong ang background ay kakaiba sa akin.

Oo, Birhinya, mahirap ipaliwananag sa mga sano na ang perang pumapasok sa banko ay hindi revenue. Katulad din yan sa pagsasaya sa bansa nang pumasok ang mga sinasabing "perang banyaga" na ikinataas ng value ng peso.Hindi alam ng karamihan na hindi ito direct investments kaya walang employment generation o walang bagong kumpaniyang maitatag.

Sandali bakit ako naging si pinay.

Erase, erase.

Kaya minabuti kong tanggihan at iwasan ang mga trabahong may kinalaman sa pakikipagtaltalan sa mga taong minsan kahit na sinabing may MBA sila ay hindi pa rin maintindihan kung ano ang bad debts na gusto nilang ipakulong.

Hindi po ako nag-exaggerate.

Pero saan ba patutungo ang aking iniisip eheste sinusulat na pala.

Ganito po yon. Bago po ako nag-ermitanya ay natawag akong makipag-tete-a-tete sa mga taong namamahala sa pagkuha ng tao. Una labindalawa kaming sabay-sabay na kinausap(interview). Isa-isa silang nabuwal at ako na lang ang nakatayo pagkatapos sampal-sampalin ng mga tanong na hohum kahit gulatin mo yata ako habang nakatulog ay masasagot ko.(hindi po ako nagyayabang,dahil pag may naging instructor kayo sa accounting na sadista,pati panaginip ninyo noon ay numero ang lumalabas.)

Tuloy po ang kuwento.

Sabi noong babae, may makakalaban pa raw ako, one on one.

Hige.

Lalaki, puti.

Pero sabi nga ni Carolina Dominguez presidente ng John Clements sa artikulo sa Asianjournal.com ,"It was necessary to look the part as it was easy for minorities,particularly Asians to be overlooked and passed over......

Sa madaling salita, talo ako sa laban, kahit na ang aking resume ay nagsasaad ng mga eksperensiya ko na hindi magkakasya sa isang papel lang pero hindi naman puwedeng gawing script sa pelikula.

Pagkatapos ng ilang buwan....

Itutuloy.

Kakain lang po ako ng almusal sa Quiznos.Masarap doon ang oven toasted sandwich. Sawa na ako sa pandesal na may matamis na bao.

The Ca t

The Mayor Who Blogs

Dear mouse,

Now the mayor, tomorrow will be the governor or the President.

Move over, Moonbeam -- Moonblog has arrived.

With a click of the mouse, Jerry Brown -- Oakland's mayor turned aspiring law-and-order attorney general candidate -- kicked off his very own blog this week with a slam at critics of his city's new 10 p.m. curfew for parolees. "These zealots can't accept the fact that strategic police work is saving lives in our city,'' Brown wrote in a barbed, 245-word stream of consciousness that was beamed to the world at www.jerrybrown.typepad.com.

Kainggit siya,intant hit.

But look at the comments:

1."Why are you wasting time with a blog when you have a city falling apart around you?'' asked fellow blogosphere traveler Tman.

2. "I sold my house in Oakland last year to escape your horrid administration.''

3.Blogger Flap advised: "Make this blog 'real' and people will read it. Keep on sounding like a press release and it (soon) will be ignored.''

4.It will be interesting to see how a politician handles this medium where all your critics are just as visible as you are. I predict either unprecedented enforced honesty, or you'll get bored with this before the election and it won't matter.''

Sino kaya sa politician natin ang magiging blogger din.?

Sana yong personal blog din kagaya halimbawa ng: "She's a beauty. I should have her, by hook or by crook. Got to ask my thinktank to cook some phony festivals to have an excuse of inviting this sexy lady at whatever price.Anyway, the tab is going to be picked up by my constituents thru representation expenses.hehehe.

username:The Congressman ermm the ghostwriter of a Congressman ermmm whatever. HEEE

Pardon me folks, it's my Dave Barry overload thinkin'.

The Ca t

When Bad Actors Become Bad

Dear mouse,

Eddie Fernandez, a former actor and father of the Pop Concert queen Pops Fernandez;Robin Padilla, the bad boy of the Philippine movies; Dolphy, Jr., an actor and the son of Dolphy, the Comedy King; and Berting Labra spent some years in prison because of the crimes they committed.

Now, another former actor, Dennis Roldan was charged with kidnapping and illegal possession of firearms---without bail.

A former character actor, he must have internalized his villainous roles in his movies that he became one in real life.

A former congressman in our district in Quezon City for the periods 1992 and 1995 without any significant legislations credited to his name, he chose to be at the other side of the fence.

The story does not end there. The demanded ransom of 250 million was way too high that the family cannot afford to pay it.

Bad tip, bad planning, simply bad,bad,bad.

This is despite the fact that the woman who allegedly helped them do the kidnapping was a classmate of a victim's mother.

Bad estimate or an old time grudge?

Pardon me folks, it's just my John Grisham overload thinking.

The Ca t

"Tahong" made me cry

Dear mouse,

Next time you stop by a wet market and haggle for the price of one can of "tahong", don't."

Months ago, I wrote about the beautiful tapestries and handwoven carpets from India prominently displayed in one store in the downtown area. Very expensive. That was weeks after I read an article in the Readers' Digest about children carpet makers in India, working 12 hours a day for meager pay that have been advanced to their parents by their employers. What I saw was not the beautiful handiwork but the beautiful faces of these children trying to ward off sleep so that they can finish their tasks.

Then there is this "tahong business" in the Philippines where the divers who harvest the tahong from the "baklad" are but children. Some of them have stopped going to school. They assume already the role of the bread winner at a tender age. Where are the parents who are supposed to provide for their children and not the other way around?

Where is the government which is supposed to implement the Child Labor Law ?

Which reminds me...

I prepared a feasibility study of "tahong" farm business when I was still in the Philippines.

As far as I can recall, the business is profitable except if there is a big storm that may uproot the bamboo poles used to grow the tahongs under water. This is not supposed to be labor intensive since two adult workers can easily do the harvesting. Employing child labor enhances profit since labor cost would be lower.

Where are entrepreneurs who do not have SMTM (show me the money as their primary goal) and exploit children to attain such goal?

Now I am beginning to dislike tahong.

Remind me to rent the Muro Ami DVD.

The Ca t

Food scale without a scale

Dear Wife,

I can't imagine an obsessive-compulsive-special diet freak person like me to bring a food scale wherever I want to check whether I am within my precribed food intake.

This is from a booklet I received from my doctor when I complained about the impossibility of determining the correct measurements especially when I am dining out.

Very practical and easy to remember.

3 ounces of meat = one deck of cards

1 ounce of meat=matchbox

medium apple= golf ball

medium potato= computer mouse

medium onion = baseball

1 cup fruit = one average orange

1/2 cooked pasta= ice cream scoop

1 ounce bread = CD case

1cup broccoli=light bulb

2 tablepoons butter=golf ball

1 ounce cheese= domino

It is also to use your regular drinking glass to measure milk or any drink without using the measuring cup.

Simply measure a cup of any liquid in a meausuring cup then pour into one drinking glass. Mark or memorize where the liquid comes up to.

For more of special diet recipes, go to my new special diet journal.

Next, substition savvy.

The Ca t

The Merbaby

Dear mouse,

If you have been watching Korina Sanchez' Rated K, you would have seen the siyokoy (merman) whose operation to make him more human-like was bankrolled by some charitable organizations thru the program.

This photo was e-mailed to the group by polo.

At first, I thought it was a hoax. This latest news however made me sigh a relief. It is depressing to think that some people ended up in carnival's freak show because of their abnormalities.

LIMA, PERU: Peruvian surgeons have performed a preliminary operation to separate the fused legs of a 9-month-old girl known as the 'baby mermaid' because of her rare birth defect, her doctor said on Friday

.

The Ca t

Men are from Mars

Dear mouse,

The news:

WASHINGTON: A pair of NASA scientists told a group of space officials at a private meeting here recently that they had found strong evidence that life might exist on Mars, hidden away in caves and sustained by pockets of water

.

They must be men ?

Mga kafatid (Venusians) sugod sa Mars.

The Ca t

Lovers lose the ability to reason-I am the wife- 3

Dear Mouse,

This news article gave me a better understanding of my friend's mother whose relationship with her devious lover was found to be irrational and stupid by her daughters.

Scientists have found evidence that love really is blind. Scans of lovers' brains show that they lose their critical faculties when smitten, making them less able to spot flaws or potential problems.

The consequences of letting passion override rational judgment has been a common theme in literature. In Shakespeare's Twelfth Night, for example, Malvolio is persuaded to grin continuously and wear ridiculous cross-garters after he is conned into thinking that it is the wish of his beloved.

Phone : Ringggg

Me: Yelo...

Phone : I talked with my mom.

Me: So?

Phone : She was mad at me.

Me: Expected. Then. ?

Phone : Because she thought that I should not have confided in you, this embarrassing family problem.

Me: expected.Then.

Phone: I told her that you are the only person outside the family who can talk to her at her level.

Me: It turned out that it is only in some other matters and not in the love department. Then ?

Phone : She confronted her live-in partner but as usual he reasoned out beautifully that he turned the table against the legal wife.

Me: What do you mean?

Phone: According to him, he did not even know that the petition was approved. That he is willing to marry my mom.

Me: That’s crap. The US Embassy is not going to process the papers without the latest documents that they require from the principal petitioner such as income tax return or the latest W-2 or witholding statements, updated affidavit of support and latest photos with the petitioner.

Phone: He swore to my mom that he would even go to the INS to have his wife's visa revoked.

Me: How cruel but crafty. There is no visa to revoke. The wife will get the visa here in the States. The US Embassy does not stamp the immigrant visa in the passport anymore. The would-be-immigrants are furnished a special document to be presented to the INS at the US airport. The green card would be processed here. He cannot have it revoked. On what grounds? that he is going to marry your mother...without divorcing the wife ?

Phone : I do not know, my mom does not have any clue what she is going into.

Me: She likes to be a homewrecker ?

Phone: She called up the wife...

Itutuloy.

Got an appointment.

Have a nice weekend folks.

The Ca t

Special Diet for Diabetics-Guiltless Skillet Pork Chops

Dear Mouse,

For my diabetic friends, here is a recipe that you can enjoy without being guilty.

Serving size (1 chop) Total 4 servings

Ingredients

4 pork loin chops ( 8 ounces each) well trimmed

1/4 teaspoon ground cinnamon

1/4 teaspoon salt

1/4 teaspoon butter

2 tablespoons butter

2 medium onions, cut into 6 wedges each

3 medium carrots, cut into 1-inch chunks

Total calories 319

Total Fat 15 g

Cholesterol 109 mg

Sodium 294 mg

Carbohydrate 10 mg

Protein 34 g

Season both sides of the pork chops with cinnamon, salt and pepper.

In a large skillet, melt the butter over medium-high heat. Brown the pork chps for 4 to 5 minutes per side.

Add the onions and carrots to the skillet.

Reduce the heat to low,cover and cook for 25 to 30 minutes or until the vegetables are tender and the pork chops are cooked through.

Serve the vegetables with the pork chops.

Next, how to measure without the scale.

For more of special diet recipes, go to my new special diet journal

The Ca t

The Real Picture

Dear mouse,

Remember this cropped photo to protect the identities of the "nuns"?

I decided to publish the photo of these nuns...untouched...uncropped... the real picture.

Courtesy of mec.

............................ ................................. ................................. ................................. ................................ ................................ ............................. ......................... ..................... ..................... .................. ................. ................ ............

The Ca t

I am the wife--2 - The Truth

Dear mouse,

As requested, I called up the mother who is working in the housekeeping section of a convalescent hospital. The daughter provided her with a cell phone for easy reach.

Me: Musta po? Saan po kayo ngayon ?

Phone: Ito nasa trabaho.

Me: 'No pong ginagawa ninyo ?

Phone: Ito di nagtatrabaho.

Oo nga naman. Stupip question. Haay hirap talagang kumuha ng tiyempo.

Phone: Siyanga pala, natawag ka, bakit.

Ayan, binuksan na niya ang pinto. Hindi na kailangang magdoorbell.

Me: Napakiusapan po ako ng anak ninyo na ako kumausap sainyo dahil hindi niya alam kung paano ang sasabihin.

Phone: Tungkol na naman siguro ito sa aking honey. Na hindi niya matanggap ?

Me: Hindi po sa hindi niya matanggap.

Phone: Alin, yong tungkol sa peramg kinuha ng honey ko? tapos na iyon.

Me: Hindi po.

Phone: Alin yong hindi pag-uwi ng honey ko nang magdamag dahil sa nasa casino siya ? Alam ko na iyon. Hindi na raw siya uulit.

Hanep na honey yan. Sarap bugbugin. pero ano nga ba pakialam ko?

Phone: Siyanga pala, bakit ikaw ang pinatawag niya. Pakialamera ka rin ano.

Araaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay. @#$%^&&*& na. (Cover your ears, kids).

Me: (Cool ka lang Cath, ikaw ay may pinag-aralan, ikaw ang magpsensiya in short, pakialamera ka, magtiis ka.)

Hindi po, kasi ayaw niya po kayong nalalapastangan pag nagkakaroon kayo ng sagutan.

Phone: O ano namang paninira yan.

Me: Nag-overseas call po yong asawa ni honey ninyo at kailangan daw ng pera.

Phone: Anong asawa? Ako ang asawa?

Hello, ang asawa ay yong kasal,ang kabit ay yong nakakapit lang sa pundilyo.

(hindi ito ang sinabi ko.)

Me: Yon daw ho palang sinasabi niyang ampon ay asawa pala niya na penitition niya at inayos ang papeles sa tulong ng inyong pera.

HIndi kasama yong huli.

Phone: Ano,sinisiraan naman ninyo ang honey ko.

Sabi nga nila, love is blind. itong tumama sa nanay ng kaibigan ko...bingi na sulimpat pa. Kainis/

Me: Sinasabi ko lang ho ang balita. Ito ang numero niya sa Pinas. Puwede ninyong tawagan.

Phone: Kakausapin ko muna ang honey ko. Lagot kayo sa kaniya pag ito ay sira sira lang ninyo.

Masama ba ang sumapok sa matandang na-iinlove ?

Ay ewan, makakain na nga.

Abangan ang confrontation. Hindi ako pakialamera. Tsismosa lang ho. Sana kayo rin. Mwahahaha.

Paalala: Hindi po panglalait ito sa mga naiinlove.Ibig ko lang pong isulat ang mga katotohanan sa buhay na sa ating mga may sapat na pang-unawa ay nagiging palaisipan kung bakit may mga taong mga martir sa pag-ibig.

Hindi ba sila pinapatay sa Luneta ?

The Ca t

I am the wife---

Dear Mouse,

Lately, I have been screening my calls but this call, I could not miss.

Phone: I am the wife.

Me : What ? Who's this ?

Phone : I am the wife.

Me: What number are you callin'?

Phone: Can you talk to my mom. ( a married friend of mine in her 30’s. The mom is 60 plus and has a live-in lover who withdrew money from her bank account thru ATM. They kissed and made up. The mom changed the PIN but she just withdrew money for him.(Pareho rin.)

Me: Sus, ginoo. Akala ko may naligaw na babaeng girera sa aking phone. So what about ?

Phone: Remember his alibi when he was confronted of such theft by mom that he adopted an orphan in the Philippines and he sent the money for his air fare.

Me: Yep. I told you to give him a medal. Very Christian.

*smirk*

Phone: Well, this morning, I received an overseas call from the Orphan.My mom and the lover were out. (They live in a room of my Friend’s house). So I accepted the call.

She asked me to convey the message to her husband that the money that he sent was not enough.

Who’s the husband ? I asked. It was my mom’s live-in lover.

It turned out that she was petitioned way back 1999 and it was only now the petition was approved and she's coming but the money he sent (the amount that was withdrawn from the mom's bank) was not enough for the real wife's trip to the USA to join the husband.

Me: Then give him a medal.

Phone : What? Are you serious?

Me: Yeah, give him a medal that weighs a ton. Pag hindi yan bumagsak.

So kidding aside, what do you want me to do?

Phone : Talk to her. I cannot talk to her without being hysterical.

Me : Matanda sa akin ang nanay mo, why should she listen to me?

Phone: At least she respects you a lot.

Me : Let me see what I can do. Give me her phone and I will think of a way how to break the truth to her gently.

To be continued. Mag-aarobics lang ako.

Kung tsismoso interesado kayo o gusto ninyong makapulot ng aral, abangan ang karugtong.

The Ca t

Paki Department

Dear Mouse,

Singit ko lang ang mga paki.

1. Pakisabi lang kay Kris Aquino na magbago na ng kutu-yey (couturier.). Para hindi siya parang debutante palagi sa kaniyang mga programa.

2.Pakisabi lang kay Madam Auring (ayan berks babies sinulat ko na) na hindi kagaya sa US ang Japan na pag doon isinilang ang bata ay magiging citizen ng bansang sinilangan. At ano naman kaya ang ibinuntis na NAMAN ni Madam Auring. Pokemon?

3.Pakisabi kay Karen Davila ba yon? Huwag siyang palaging nakasideview pag nagreport. Minsan ngani-ngani kong itagilid ang aking TV para makita kong nakadiretso siya.Siya lang ang nakita kong narereport na nakapose.

4.Pakisabi sa TFC na mga titulo lang ng mga sitcom ang pinalitan. Ang mga tauhan ay yon ding mga pilit magpatawa at walang script. Sayang na panahon.

5.Pakisabi kay Richard Gomez na matagal na yong pagkandidato niya at recent lang yong shoplifting issue. Kung hindi totoo huwag nang manakot ng I WILL DEMAND YOU. Tingnan si Rosanna Roces, demanda,demanda yong pala totoo. Tumahimik na siya ngayon sa pagmumura dahil ikukulong siya ng korte sa pag-iignore niya sa mga hearing.

6.May nude photo na naman daw si Mahal. PAKI ko.

7.Kung yon babaeng nasabihan ng BAKIT NABILI MO NA BA ang elebeytor, hindi ko pinapansin,siya pa?

Tigilan nga ninyo ako.

The Ca t

Low Sodium Diet - with Tagalog translation

Dear Wife,

Due to popular demand, I am coming up with more special diet recipes. This one is low sodium.

According to the American Diabetes Association our bodies require 220 mg sodium (salt) per day.But average person normally takes in almost 5,000 mg per day. The ADA recommends that people with diabetes should keep their daily sodium to less than 3,000 mg and those with mild or moderate hypertension stay under 2,400 mg per day.

But it does not necessarily mean that we should cut sodium completely from our diets. We need it as much as we need vitamins. The word is moderation.

So here is a low sodium diet recipe. Sa tagalog "mababang asin na recipe". Kaya ho mababa dahil paglagay ninyo ng asin, ibaba ninyo yong palayok. (aray, nagbibiro lang ho si pusa.)

Disclaimer: The translation does not make the recipe not authentic.

Scrambled Eggs on a Mountain

2 tbsps vegetable oil or corn oil

Dalawang kutsara ng langis na piniga sa gulay o sa mais.

2 eggs

Dalawang itlog. Ang mag-isip ng bastos ay may bastos na isip.

pepper and herbs (optional)

paminta. hindi ko ho alam sa Tagalog ang herbs. puwede kayang damo?

salt or salt substitute (garlic salt)

asin o kaya yong nagpapanggap na siya ay asin.

Use eggs only-no cream, milk or water

Gamitin lang ang itlog na uhaw. Walang gatas at walang tubig.

1.Beat eggs several hours in advance preferably the night before.

Bugbugin ang itlog ng walang patumangga. Kung maari isang gabi.

2.Keep in refrigerator until cooking time.

Itago sa predyeretor.

3.Briely beat up eggs again and season with pepper, herbs and salt.

Bugbugin ulit pero ngayon kunting awa naman. Lagyan ng paminta, asin at damo. Araay sakit.

4.Heat the oil in a heavy frying pan, pour in the eggs and just as the eggs begin to set, slip one prong of a large fork underneath the eggs across the pan.

Initin ang langis sa kawali, ibuhos ang itlog. Pag nakita ninyong medyo kampante na ang itlog at gusto ng mahiga sa kawali, iangat ito sa pamamagitan ng isang ngipin ng malaking tinidor. Ano siya sinusuwerte eh kung dumikit siya ng tuluyan sa kawali.

5.Rotate the fork slowly to roll the egg up on fork as it cooks and to let the uncooked part move to the edge of the pan.

Haba naman nito pero sige na nga translate ko pa rin. Paikutin ang tinidor para ang itlog ay umikot din. (natural noh). Hayaang yong hindi pa lutong itlog ay magbakwet sa gilid ng kawali.

6.When most of the egg is cooked raise the fork, pulling the center of the eggs up unto a high mountain and letting the rest of the uncooked eggs roll against the side of the pan. Then slip it off onto a warm serving platter.

Mas mahaba ito. Sandali hinga muna. Kapag luto na ang binugbog na itlog, itaas ang tinidor at hilain pataas para makagawa ng bundok habang ang mga hindi pa lutong itlog ay magkaripasan sa gilid ng kawali. Ilagay sa isang plato. Pag hindi mataas ang nilutong bugbog na itlog, palitan ang pangalan na Scrambled Egg on a hill.

OOPs baka magalit sa houseonahill.

Bye, tatakbo muna ako.

The Ca t

Special Low Calorie Recipe

Dear Wife,

This recipe is for those who want to cut down on calories in order to see their waistlines shrink by a few inches and trim down the fat in their bellies.

Courtesy of a friend who was put into diet by his doctor.

Guaranteed results.

American Fish Chowder

1 teaspoon butter

1/4 cup finely diced onion

1/2 lb lean white fish

1 teaspoon minced parsley

1 buillion cube

3/4 cup skim milk

salt and pepper

1. Place butter in a small saucepan. Add onion and let cook about one minute.

2. Cut fish in 1-inch cubes and add to onion.

3. Add 3/4 cup water, parsley and buillion cube.

4. Boil in 5 minutes .

5. Let simmer over low heat until fish is done.

6.Add milk and season to taste with salt and pepper.

Makes 2 eight-ounce serving with 210 calories or 105 calories per serving.

(sorry can't resist)

My friend lost weight and he is now an AMERICAN citizen. If you did not get the humor, you must be fat. nyahaha.

The Ca t

Special Diet Cooking Journal

Dear Wife,

I am not a culinary expert, so I won't teach you the art of cooking. I leave that to my favorite blogger-chefs.I am not a gourmet so I am not a good judge of fine food and wine. But I am in the borderline of being diabetic and hypertension and high cholesterol run in the family's royal red blood.

Then I found out that I am not alone. Many of my friends are in the same boat. Many are unaware that we can still enjoy food minus calories without having to eat bland diet.

Panic, panic, I cannot find food blogs that address this segment of population, the people who need special diet.

So I will start with the food recipes provided by my doctor.May I share with you therefore the recipes for special diets.

For this particular journal, I am calling it "Dear Wife."

This one is recommended for candidates for diabetes or are already diabetic.

Chicken With Mushroom

	AMOUNT			C	P	F
INGREDIENTS	measure		grams	grams	grams	grams
chicken(broiler)	1/2 ave.		120 g	0	28g	20g
onion	2 tsps		0	0	0	0
butter	1tsp		5 g	0	0	5
mushrooms	4		0	0	0	0
salt	few grains		0	0	0	0
pepper	few grains		0	0	0	0
total			0	0	28 g	25 g
Calories 336
Legend:
C=Carbohydrates
P=Protein
F=Fats
Cathcath 2005

Cooking instruction:

Melt the butter.

Put the chicken and onion in pan and fry until golden brown.

Cover after adding the salt and pepper and cook slowly until done.

Cook the mushrooms in boiling water.

Drain and add to the chicken while it is still cooking.

For more of special diet recipes, go to my new special diet journal

The Ca t

It only takes a moment

It only takes a moment to do a thoughtful thing.

Just think of the happiness our thoughtul acts might bring.

Why, it only takes a moment to pick up the telephone

and say hello to someone who is sitting home alone.

And it only takes a moment, when someone is feeling blue,

to send a cheery little card or pen a line or two.

It will only take a moment to extend a helping hand

or give someone assurance that we really understand.

And it only takes a moment from our busy working day

to say a prayer for someone, be they near or far away.

But I can't, for I'm too busy... I just haven't got the time,:"

How often have we said it, like an old familiar rhyme.

Yet each moment is God-given, every one a treasure rare,

Not to be hoarded selfishly but meant for us to share.

In our little acts of kindness, words that cheer and comfort bring,

it only takes a moment to do a thoughful thing.

--Alice H. Christianson

The Ca t

Mirror

Dear mouse,

Life is a series of surprises; we can not guess what tomorrow brings but we can see life as we project it to be.

This is a poem, I wrote years seconds ago.

Salamin ng Buhay.

Tu/mi/ngin/ a/ko/ sa/ sa/la/min,/ma/lung/kot.

Ma/lung/kot/ ang/ muk/ha,/no/o'y/ na/ka/ku/not./

Tu/mi/ngin/ a/ko/ sa/ sa/la/min,/ma/sa/ya./

Ma/sa/ya/ ang/ muk/ha, ma/ta'y/ na/ka/ta/wa./

Tu/mi/ngin/ a/ko/ sa/ sa/la/min,/may/ ga/lit.

May /ga/lit/ sa/ mun/do/, ma/ta'y/ nan/li/li/sik.

Tu/mi/ngin/ a/ko/ sa/ sa/la/mi't,/nag/ta/ka/.

Nag/ta/ka,/ kung/sa/an,/ i/long/ay/ na/pun/ta?

picbypolo

Ahek

The Ca t

My Life ---

Dear mouse,

I started getting out again--breathing the cool morning air and walking past people who are in a hurry to catch their buses.

For the past months, I like to think of my place as a womb, a protective little enclave that I can slip into and disappear from this cruel world.

My place that has been a sanctuary of lost, depressed and confused souls is now empty. The phone has long been dead except for calls from a soul mate.

I feel the grip of sadness and I thirst for my old friends and people whose lives I touched and I thought I could count on now that my defenses are at the lowest level.

Many times, I stopped this thought.

Friendships and relationships are just like investment ventures. Sometimes you win and reap huge dividends in return.Sometimes you lose including your shirt at your back. Mine was anchored on the pay forward scheme. So I thought.

But when you are in the middle of storm, you wish for someone to offer you a refuge even an umbrella or an old jacket.

You wish that somebody wrap you in his arms and give the comforting words that it will pass.

Then you get soaked and the blues just won’t get away.

The strong wind must have ripped the fabric of friendship. She does not return your call anymore. She is afraid that you may ask favors that her spouse may not approve--the Spouse who knew that you took care of her when she was ejected from her house after her live-in boyfriend left her for good.

You just want somebody to talk to.

The rain must be too strong that it caused a deluge to the memory of a person who owed you his good education only to advise you to avail of a low cost housing while he enjoys the luxury of a million dollar house in an upscale village.

You are not even hinting that you are looking for a place.

Then there are some who called you in the wee hour of the morning at the first signs of trouble in their lives.

Now, they just shut their cellphones off.

Yes, when it rains, it pours. It must have drenched the hearts of the people whom you have guided like toddlers starting to make their first baby steps . Now they are grown-ups; their backpacks filled with wordly passions and material attachments, false values like pride,vanity and selfishness and excessive ambitions to rake in more millions. They kicked you out of the business when their relatives who did not even believe that the two ventures would take off started dipping their hands in the businesses' kitties.

But there are people whose friendships you would not like to lose. There are relationships that you like to keep. They are like plants that should be placed in a shade away from the storm. Let them blossom and give out love that does not depend on whims and caprices. Let them bring sunshine to your life.

To you, God bless.

The Ca t

Si Pinay at ang Kapitbahay-Karugtong po.

Dear mouse,

Patuloy ang pagbabalik gunita sa buhay ni Pinay.

The Ca t

PG Rated-Totoo po

Dear Mouse,

She is young, talented, beautiful, sexy and sensuous.

A day ago, she wrote:

And yes, I use the batteries for a really important gadget that fills me with delight and propels me into ecstasies.

Note: if you want to see the "uncropped picture"in her profile click this.

Good only until she discovers that I blogged it.

Caution : Not recommended for men with weak hearts.

I could have given her my extra batteries but then I also need them for my gadget.

Flashlight with nine lives.

The Ca t

My Life... Without You

Dear mouse,

Bigla ang pangyayari. Wala man lang akong nakitang pahiwatig na siya ay papanaw.

Ilang beses ko siyang tinangkang buhayin pero wala.

Ibig kong umiyak pero walang luhang pumatak.

Ibig kong sumigaw pero walang tunog na lumabas.

Ibig kong magalit dahil hindi ko man lang nalaman ang dahilan nang kaniyang pagkamatay.

Walang poot na namuo.

Nagpasya akong lumabas. Malayo para hindi ko siya makita sa ganoong kalagayan.

Pinilit kong iwaksi ang kalungkutan unti- unting bumabalot sa aking pagkatao.

Pimasya kong maglakad, walang direksyon.

Sa aking paglalakad, nakita ko ang mga bagay na bagay na nagpapaalala sa magagandang panahong aming pinagsamahan.

Ang aliwin niya ako sa aking mga hilahil. Ang pakinggan ang aking mga hinaing.

Ang tahimik niyang pagdamay sa aking paghihirap ng puso. Kaibigan ko siya habang ang iba ay abala sa kanilang mga sariling buhay. Kaibigan ko siyang matiyagang nakikisama sa aking pagpupuyat at pag-iisip kung ano ang aking magiging kapalaran.

Wala na siya at kailangang harapin ko ang aking katotohanan.

Umuwi ako na mabigat ang puso. Kailangang hawakan ko siya ulit at alamin kung may buhay pa nga siya.

ALELUYA, Buhay siya. It’s a miracle.

Buhay na naman si NOW WHAT, CA T ?

Aray, bakit naman ninyo binato si Ca t. Nag-eemote lang naman eh. Sensiya kayo, pareho ang sakit namin ni Sassy.

Chopsticks- Challenged ?

Dear Mouse,

Today is the Chinese New Year.

Kung Hei Fat Choi

Despite the 1001 times that I have dined in Chinese restaurants, I cannot brag that I have mastered the use of chopsticks. Yes, this Ca t is chopsticks-challenged.

So I tried to get some tips on how to use the chopsticks. (Note: I am left handed, so the following illustrations are for me and the leftists errmm the lefties).

Use the the index finger, the middle finger, and the thumb to hold the upper chopstick.

The lower chopstick should be placed between the bottom of the thumb and the tip of the ring finger. (don't mind if you don't have a ring. hehehe)

If you cannot get it yet, don't panic while you are waiting for the spoons and sporks that you requested. Take a deep breath, hold the chopsticks with five fingers (holding the chopsticks with five fingers is a bad table manner for Japanese, isn't it Sachiko ?) and make tusok of the meat,fish or make sabit the veggie sa chopsticks.

Next time, bring your own special chopsticks like this.

Me? I have other uses for chopsticks.

Talking of chopticks, I must have misplaced mine. Can't find them.

The Ca t

Pinay at ang Kapitbahay Ahahay

Dear Mouse,

Uriratin ang kapitbahay ni Pinaysaamerika.

Update:

Si Pinay at ang kapitbahay-brown out ulit.

The Ca t

I am sorry, I lied to Jay and Jet

Dear mouse,

I told Jay that I was on a hiatus for six months due to some personal matters that I have to attend to.

It was a lie. The real truth is that I cannot simply go out from where I was staying.

Because of the daring escape I made, a long-time stalker found me again and blackmailed me to have a group picture or else he would see the Mother Superior.

This was the pic, cropped in order to hide the identities of other nuns.

picbypolo

The Mother Superior got wind of my little escapade that she ordered for the suspension of my novitiate.

And I thought SHE is very prayerful.

* hikbi*.

The Ca t

Tips for Dining Out

Dear Mouse,

My ex-boss in the Philippines was workaholic.

His idea of meeting was dining out or his idea of dining out was a conduct of impromptu brainstorming or project evaluation reports.

No transparencies...no reports that are more than three pages and presentations start with the recommendations that answer the hows and the whys.

There were certain guidelines that we strictly follow in dining/cum meeting out .

Discussions stop when waiters are serving the food.

My boss had this paranoia that the waiters’ bowties are outfitted with miniature recording devices to spy on the latest product ideas brainstormed by corporate geniuses over steaming cups of coffees or sparking wine glasses. Talking about corporate spies.

Take aspirins before the first bottle of spirits is consumed.

For hangovers, just in case they forget what moderate means.

Order uncorked bottled drinks only.

There are some food establishments that put more ice and or water to glasses of drinks. More profit you know. One bottle for two customers at a price of two and a cost of one.

Order steamed rice only.

No no for fried rice. Some ingredients in the fried rice may have seen recycling for three generations.

Be friendly/patient to the waiters or food servers.

Remember they handle the food.

Be a generous tipper.

He believed that waiters have the memories of elephants. They remember the stingiest and generous tippers; the worst and the best dressers;the arrogant and the meek and the wives and the mistresses. OOOPs.

Remember to bring home the extra food.

Ask for a doggie bag.Give your neigbor’s dog’s name if you have none.

Remember to keep the receipts for reimbursements.

Accountants hate padding and creativity.

Table knives are for slicing meat or spreading butter.

They are not instruments for settling differences/conflicts that may arise during discussions.

Table napkin is not a good substitute for post-it-note.

Don’t write phone numbers and reminders. Take plenty for office use though.

Don't take spoons and sporks for souvenirs.

Breakages amd losses are not shouldered by the establishments. They are deducted from the poor waiters' take home pays..

The Ca t

Copyitright

Dear Mouse,

Sassy's appeal to fight plagiarism in the internet elicited several responses from fellow bloggers.

Mark (click-mo-mukha-mo) wrote :

Anything you post on the web can and will be stolen by a determined individual. And no, disabling your right click function isn’t much help -

MLQuezon the third wrote:

Please support the Sassy Lawyer's efforts to prevent plagiarism on the internet!

Titorolly wrote:

Claiming somebody else's project as yours is wrong. That is intellectual dishonesty or to be blunt about it, thievery. And it has a name. It's called plagiarism.

The Unlawyer wrote

Today, that malicious spirit is still alive and well, as an esteemed blogger becomes the latest victim of this despicable offense, her generous copyright policies notwithstanding.

English Patis (celia kusinera) wrote:

I don't think anyone would want their labor of love to be copied and not be acknowledged for it.

Watson wrote:

The recipes are freely available for cooking at home. But lifting-off these materials and calling them your own is a shame!

marvin commented on 02-03-05 at 06:46 AM :

Idemanda mo.

bayibhyap commented on 02-03-05 at 06:20 AM :

Plagiarism has no role in any responsible writing. It's purely claiming credit from the work and research done by others for one's own through deceit.

jobert commented on 02-02-05 at 09:53 PM :

Welcome to the Cut and Paste Generation.

BatJay Hardinero commented on 02-02-05 at 08:44 PM :

ano ba yan? tangnenek naman pati ba naman recipe sa bopis ay kinokopya. nawala ata ang hiya ng mga yon.

Ting-aling commented:

Sheezz..you're just claiming back what was stolen from you and you get this kind of response? Can I pick your brain, please Sassy?

Note: The comments were plagiarized OOOPSie errm lifted from the selected bloggers' webpages and from the reactions on Sassy's blog entitled " Ever heard of plagiarism".

The Ca t wrote :

See my sidebar.

The Ca t

Lights, Camera, Cry

Dear Mouse,

A scene from a scene

Beaeh:

Ilang beses ka bang magsisinungaling? Ilang beses pa akong magmamahal? Ilang beses pa akong masasaktan?

.

Piolo:

Bakit ako tatanungin mo, eh ikaw ang nagbibilang.

Direk:

Cut. Bakit ganyan ang bigote mo? hindi pantay. Mag-ahit ka muna. Dududuguin ako sainyo.

The Ca t

The Case of the Missing Ca t-Nakita na ang kidnapper

Dear Mouse,

Dahil po sa sangkaterbang e-mail na natanggap ko dahil wala raw retrato ang kidnapper, kaya heto po ang sequel sa Tagalog pati ang retrato.Huwag iiyak kaagad Apol at Sassy..

Translation in Tagalog at dinagdagan pa.

Para akong hayok na hinalibas ang pagkain sa predyeretor. Narinig ko pa ang malakas na glug glug nang ininom ko ang gatas na nag-expire na ng isang araw.Kahapon lang ako lumabas mula nang ipinasya kong magmongha at magkabanal.(patawarin ninyo po ako sa aking pagsisinungaling). Muli kong nasilayan ang araw. Sabi ko aha, lumabas ka rin. Samantalang ilang araw na ring laging kulimlim.Wari bang nakikihati sa aking hinagpis. Hinagpis na hindi nakakain ng paborito kong mais. Nag-iisip ako. Gagawin ko ba o hindi. Kung oo ay kailangang mag-iba ako ng anyo. Kailangan kong magpaputol ng buhok.

Buhay ka pa, bati sa akin ng hair stylist.

Hanep na tanong yon. Kinapa ko sarili ko. Kinurot. Araaay. @#$% na ...buhay pa naman.

Saan ka ba talaga napunta? tanong nang kakulit na hair stylist.

Sabi ko, huwag mo nang tanungin at aabutin tayo rito ng isang linggo, babaha ang sahig ninyo at makikiiyak ang iyong mga kasama.

Sige putol na ang aking buhok.

Kaya po gagong gupit ako ngayon.

Tiningnan ko ang relos ko sa dingding na nagkakahalaga ng $ 9.99.... ow may discount pala dahil sale.

Marami pang oras. Makapaligo nga.

Hinubad ko ang aking pajamas. oops. meron pa pala akong suot na mahabang kamiseta. Hinubad ko rin. Ooops meron pala akong thermal para sa lamig. Hinubad ko pa rin. Ooops. O ano ? Ano pang hinihintay ninyong hubarin ko? Masara nga itong pinto ng aking shower room.

Masarap ang tubig. Kung hindi nga lang ako busog ay ininom ko na. Sabong gawa sa papaya ang aking gamit. Kaya tatandaang kong huwag lumapit sa chicken, baka gawin akong tinola.

Pinili ko ang black turtle neck knit top and a purple leg-hugging pants.

Marami kasing gamit ang turtle neck. Puwedeng gamitin mong mask para may nakatabi kang may putok pwedeng pangtakip sa ilong. Puwede ring itaas mo para matakpan ang kalahati ng iyong mukha pag may nakita kang taong iyong pinagkakautangan. Puwede ring gamiting pantakip sa bibig habang natutulog para hindi makita ang tulo...alam ninyo na.Leg-hugging para bumagay sa aking boots na hindi ako magmumukhang cowgirl na nawalang ng kabayo.

Sinuot ko ang aking snake skin jacket.

(OO sachiko totoong jacket ko yon. Kaya ako nagtatago sa mga animal rights advocates kasi sampung ahas din ang nagbuwis ng buhay para masuot ko ang jacket na iyon.(patawarin po ninyo ako sa pagyayabang).

Hindi puno ang teren. Ito ang unang pagkakataon kong sumakay sa teren sa loob ng mahabang panahon na ito ay naitayo. Hindi ko pa alam kung paano ko palalabasin ang ticket doon sa hinayupak na makina. Madali lang pala. Hulog ng papel na dolyares. Doot doot doot. May lumabas ng ticket. May lumapit pa sa aking Itim na ipinagbibili yon kaniyang ticket. Gusto kong maghanap ng salamin at tingnan kung may nakasulat na TANGA ako sa aking noo at sa dibidib ay may nakadikit na pakigawin ngang biktima sa katarantaduhan. Tsee.

Pero kahit walang tatak alam kong tanga ako. Hintay ako ng hintay ng teren, maling plataporma pala ang naakyatan ko.Kaya baba na naman ako.Sus ginoo, walang escalator. Hagdan na matarik ang aking aakyatin. Parang gusto kong kumanta ng Climb every mountain...yon bang sa Sound of Music.

Dumating ang teren. Tiningnan ko ang aking relo. Isang oras pa. Pumasok ako sa teren na mahigpit ang hawak ko sa barandilya. Tiningnan ako ng nasa harapan ko na para bang tinutukso ako na sobrang hawak ko hindi naman ako mawawala.

Bumaba ako sa teren. Sinunod ko ang direksiyon na ibinigay sa akin ng aking kapatid na tinawagan ko para magtanong. Sa second level ang arrivals.

Hindi ibinigay ang airline at flight number. Pero alam ko ang departure date at time. Sa aking research, isang airline lang ang lumilipad ng ganoong oras.

Lumapag na ang eruplano. Marahil nasa immigration na sila. Nagsimulang maglabasan ang mga pasahero galing sa Taipeh. Siyempre karamihan sa kanila Insik.

Nagsimulang maglabasan ang mga Bumbay. Wala naman akong makitang eruplanong galing sa India. Ahaaa.

Lumabas na ang aking hinihintay. Nauunang lumalakad ang lalaki. Sinundan ko si babae at binulungann na huwag sisigaw, kidnap po ito.

Takot ang nakita ko sa mukha ng babae.

Nabigla rin ang lalaki.

Tinitigan niya akong nang matagal at saka sumigaw...

Cath-napper. bwahahaha.

Bakit ganoon, nakilala kaagad nila ako, meron naman akong shades?

The Ca t

The Case of the Missing Ca t and Chicken

Dear Mouse,

Hunger overcame her. She has not eaten her dinner the previous night. She was shaky and weak- kneed. Yesterday was her first time to enjoy the sunshine after months of hiatus. She went to her favorite hair stylist to get the needed hair cut to make her feel like a new person.

She raided the refrigerator and without bothering to make a sandwich, she made a bite of this and that and she concluded the late breakfast by washing it down with a glass of half and half milk.

She glanced at the wall clock. There was enough time for whatever she decided to do this morning. She could do it, she assured herself.

She stripped out of the flannel pajamas and stepped in the bath tub for a quick shower. The water was wonderfully hot. She worked up a heavy lather with the liguid soap until the bathroom was laden with clouds of steam with floral scent.

From her walk-in closet, she chose the black turtle knit top and a purple leg-hugging pants.

It felt good when she topped it with her snake skin jacket.

The train was not crowded. This was her first to take the train and she wasted 15 minutes of her time waiting in a wrong platform.

She could have herself brought to her destination but the thought that this was an adventure of travelling alone in a public transport was revitalizing.

She congratulated herself when she exited to the right gate.No precious minutes wasted. She took a look at the arrivals information. The plane has landed 20 minutes ago.

All she has to do is to wait.

She peeked at her purse and felt the metallic cover of the gadget that she refused to use for months.

I will take them by surprise that even the other passengers would not know what's going on, she told herself in whispers.

The targeted duo emerged from the exit. She hastily moved in order to walk behind the woman.

With a soft voice, she warned the lady not to scream as she put her hands on her back.

She saw the terror in her face. Although surprised, the man with her did not show panic.

For that terrible moment,the couple thought that they were going to be made as a hostage by a deranged terrorist.

Moments passed and a loud shout was heard that reverberated in the hall.

CATHY walang hiya ka, tinakot mo kami.

aieiaieieieieieieieieeeee

After renting a car, the couple went calmly with the kidnapper and over a plate of chichen chowmien with a missing chicken

and spareribs without ribs, they started talking about the berks.

Here is the picture of kidnapper and the kidnapped couple.

The Ca t

Radical Chef's Cheap Copy Cats

Dear Mouse,

I am going to blog about a recipe of chicken adobo.

Ingredients

one whole chicken

1 tbsp pepper

1 tbsp salt

1 cup vegetable oil

1 cup white vinegar

1 head garlic (crushed)

one cup flour

Preparation

Place the chicken cut into pieces, salt, pepper garlic and vinegar in a large saucepan.Let it simmer until the chicken is tender.Add water as needed. When the chicken meat is already tender, add the oil and stir fry until brown.

Servings: 4

SO??

SO??

If the cheap copy cats are going to steal this recipe to post in their own website.. AHAAAA sila.

Only those who know how to cook will spot what's wrong with the recipe.

Others who merely copy and paste are those who do not know how to cook at walang karapatang magbigay ng resipeng hindi pa nila subok by cooking it themselves.

Kaya yong mga nangongopya ng recipe kay sassy, sana sinabi na lang ninyo na bumili kayo kay Aling Gare ng bopis at tinanong ninyo kung paano pagluto. Ngayon sinarhan ninyo ang karinderia ninyo.

O, Ting, ito ang pic.

The Ca t

Deep Sea Creatures after Tsunami

Dear Mouse,

Although the people who found and released the giant turtle that was stranded in Quezon declared that the poor thing just lost its way and had nothing to do with the tsunami that struck the Asian nations, I personally made a reservation.

Next came the news about the 22 pilot whales that beached temselves in Carolina, 17 of which died.

Then this news about giant squid.

NEWPORT BEACH, Calif. — Hundreds of giant squid are washing up on Orange County beaches, creating a scene more akin to "20,000 Leagues Under the Sea" than "The O.C."

Just a few days ago, a big whale was found in a beach in the Philippines.

Today, I received an e-mail from a brother with picture attachments of these sea creatures.

As everyone knows, the tsunami in Southeast Asia was devastating both in the loss of life and economically to the region. However now that the clean up is underway in the region, deep sea creatures that live too deep to be studied are being found scattered throughout the wreckage. These creatures were washed up on shore when the waves hit.

Amazing what lives so far below the surface isn't it?

See some of them.

The Ca t

Donald Trump and his bad hair dayforever

Dear Mouse,

Remember Dolphy and his combover before he stumbled on the miracle of hair transplant ?

It is expensive to have one's scalp planted with hair follicles. My former officemate was spending US$300 a month until his bald forehead was covered with thick and healthy hair.

Donald Trump can afford very well to say goodbye to his ughhhh ugly,ugly hair combed toward the forehead, swirl to the right or left and swept to the back again but he was confident that hair does not matter much to ensnare wife number three.

What about the folks who do not have bulging pockets?

I heard from guy thing gossips of male friends that Dolphy's secret was bulging front empty pocket.

(erase,erase,erase...my site is unrated).

Donald Trumps' bulges come from his billions. No lady could afford to refuse his proposition for marriage, bad hair or not, prenup or not.

Guys whose foreheads are starting to shine and the heads are showing more skin than hair, here are the beauty tips for hair care.

The hair products have specific functions that keep the hair looking healthy and shiny.

Shampoo cleans the scalp and loosens the dirt.

Conditioner prevents the hair from drying out and becoming too brittle that lead to breakage.

Rinse cleans the hair thoroughly.

Tips in washing hair

Pour the shampoo in your hand and not in your scalp.

Use a small amount only and repeat the process.

Massage into the scalp to remove all dirt.

Dry the hair gently by blotting instead of rubbing the hair with towel.

Use wide-toothed hair for wet hair.

Commercial shampoos are made from water and detergent. Yep, you read it right. Detergent as in sabong panlaba. Oils are added for shiny effect and fragrance for the smell. Salt makes it thick and pearlized while acid is added in order to make the solutions mixed together.

HOW DO I KNOW?

Beauty care products were the products that we produced and sold as part of our major project in our entrepreneurial class.

Here are shampoo formulas that are inexpensive and have more natural ingredients.

Simple Simon Shampoo

Ingredients

1/4 cup water

1/4 cup liquid soap specifically one for sensitive skin

1/2 teaspoon light vegetable oil

Mix together and pour into an empty shampoo bottle.

To make the mixture thick, add 1/4 cup of borax powder and 1/2 cup glycerine.

Our chefs/bloggers can make egg shampoo by omitting one egg from their food recipe that requires eggs.

Humpty Dumpty Shampoo

Here is the formula for Eggo Shampoo.

Mix one raw egg with the simple simon shampoo as discussed above.

Tanggero(Drinking Buddy) Shampoo

Our tanggeros (drinking buddies)can supply us with a stale beer or uncold beer for our shampoo that gives body to the hair.

Beer used to be a favorite of the beauty counsellors to make the hair firm ala Imelda Marcos hairdo.

Ingredients

One cup beer

One cup of Simple simon Shampoo

Boil the beer in a saucepan until it is reduced to half the cup.Mix it with the simple simon shampoo and stir well.

Rinse very well after using or else they might think that you have just been to a beer house.mwehehehe.

Dehins Goli Shampoo

Those who are afraid of water or are too sick to take a bath, here are dry shampoos to clean the hair and make it smell good.

Bibingka Dry shampoo

I labeled it such because of the ingredients, namely; 1/2 cup rice flour; 1 teaspoon baking soda and 1 tablespoon borax.

Mix the ingredients together. Then massage the powder into the scalp and hair. Let it stay for fifteen minutes before vigorously brushing the powder out.

Caution:Don't go near an oven. You might become bibingka. mewejjjee

Aside from rice flour, you can also use cornmeal and salt.

Here is the result of using the dry shampoo.

Parang Donald Trump din ang dating.

The Ca t