Wednesday, June 30, 2004

Kung ako si DARNA

Dear Mouse,

Kung ako si Darna, may mga tao akong gustong bigwasan.

Kaliwa, kanan, kaliwa, gitna...sapul

Whooo

Elly V. Pamatong. Kapal ng mukha niya.Pagkatapos ipagmalaki na susunugin ang mga paaralan hanggang magresign si Gloria Arroyo, ngayon may mukha siyang parang tupang ikinakaila na siya ang utak ng nagkalat ng mga pako. Sabi pa niya. TANUNGIN NINYO ANG DIYOS. Susme, pati Diyos sigurong gigil na sa mga panlolokong ginawa niya rito sa Estet ay gagawin pa niyang sinungaling.

Iniimbitahan ni Rodil Rodis ang mga naging biktima ni Pamatong sa kaso nila sa immigration upang magsampa ng kaso sa “international lawyer?” na ito.


Jaworkski

Nang tinanong siya kung bakit may tama ng bala ang sasakyan ng mga YAP, ang sagot niya , Ewan ko, mayaman sila, sila, siguro binaril nila.

Sana nang tinanong din ang mga YAP kung bakit may tama ang anak ni Jaworski,ang sagot sana nila ay, Ewan ko, baka binaril niya ang sarili niya.



Babaeng dala ang kaniyang sanggol sa demonstrasyon

Napanood ko ang rally ng mga supporters ni FPJ. Nagpulasan ang mga tao dahil sa tear gas at sa tubig. Tumatakbo ang babaeng kipkip ang sanggol habang umiiyak. Tinulungan siya ng isang mama na punasan ng tubig ang mukha ng bata. Kung ibig lang niyang matanggap yong limampung pisoses at libreng meryenda para lumahok sa rally, sana man lamang ay iniwan niya ang isang kamag-anak ang sanggol na iyon. Nasaan ang utak niya na kahit walang tear gas o tubig, alam niyang mapanganib ang magsama ng bata lalo na ang sanggol dahil sa karaniwan na ay nauuwi sa batuhan,habulan at balyahan ang mga ganitong klaseng pagpapahayag ng kanilang karapatan.



Kung ito ay isang stratehiya upang umakit ng pansin at awa kagaya ng Babies for Hire ng mga sindikato, puwede ba, tatawagin ko si Dong.


Sinong Dong?

Eh di pinsan ni Ding na ayon kay XP ay ang makakalimuting side kick ni Darna.

O sige Batjay, kunin mo na ang costume mong BAT na walang appendix. Pakisama mo na tuloy yong frog. Baka sakaling maging prinsipe ay maghop hoppily ever after kami. ribitt ribbitt

The Ca t

Tuesday, June 29, 2004

Kung

Dear Mouse,

Kung si Eddie Villanueva ang nanalo sa pagka Presidente

  • 1. Sa Makati ang inauguration.
  • 2. Siya rin kaya ang gagawa ng invocation
  • 3. Ang kakanta ng Pambansang Awit ay baka duet ni Gary V. at Kuh Ledesma.
  • 4. Hindi uulan dahil may praprayer ang kanilang mga kapatid.
  • Kung si Fernando Poe ang nanalo...

  • Sa Mindanao ang inauguration.
  • Ang kakanta ng Pambansang Awit ay si Armida Siquion
  • HIndi uulan dahil gagamitin niya ang kapangyarihan niyang Panday
  • Kayo ano sa palagay ninyo kung nanalo si Eddie Gil. May premyong wig pag malapit sa iniisip ko.

    The CA t

    Dreams

    Dear Mouse,

    Did you have any warning dream ?

    Days before my friend had a car accident in Nevada, he dreamt of driving uphill. It was foggy he could not see the road. Despite the cold weather, he was perspiring inside the car. Then he saw the vision. The car fell into the ravine. He was shouting but no one heard him. He saw a light emanating from above. Then he awoke.

    If you care to read.

    The CA t

    Monday, June 28, 2004

    Speak English please

    Dear Mouse,

    Karamihan sa ating mga peyrents ay gustong matuto tayo ng English sa murang gulang. Kagaya ni Titorolly para sa kaniyang mga anak. Kaya kung minsan,habang bata pa tayo ay ispokening England sila sa atin. Pati na si Yaya Mariya ay napipilitang ilabas ang kanilang kinatago-tagong English galing sa baul.

    "Dirty dirty ha, dirty ha. Yur mama will palo you. "

    O di ba nakakalukreng ? Sila ang mga original na Kris Aquino at mga “My gosh, this place is so baho naman" /hybrid language speaking colegialas.

    Come to think of it, ang mga yaya ang mga first “teachers” ng mga batang are. Tinanong nga minsan ang isang DH sa HK kung paano sila nagkakaintindihan ng kaniyang mga alagang mga Insik. Sabi niya tinuturuan niya ng Tagalog. O nakakabaliw talaga. Kaya sa aking paboritong si Conrado Quiroz, darating ang panahon, lahat ng mga lider sa ibang bansa ay marunong magtagalog, mag Ilocano o kaya mag Bisaya. Dahil sa mga OFW na DH.

    Tingnan mo sa San Francisco. Ang pronunciation ng San Pedro ay San Pidro. Marami kasing Bisaya doon.

    Kung nahirapan ang mga batang mag –English, mahihirapan din ang Pilipinong marunong ng magaling na English sa ibang parte ng Estet kagaya ng Boston kung saan itinakwil nila ang alphabet na R at may sarili silang vocabulary.

    Sa Pilipinas ang tawag sa tren ay LRT or MRT.Sa San Francisco ay BART; sa New York ay subway at sa Boston ay T. ( Maiksi lang di ba ? Ang mahaba ay yong kasunod.)

    It does not run all night. Fah chrysakes, this ain’t Noo Yawk.

    Sa Pilipinas ay garbage can, sa Calif ay Trash bin, sa Boston ay Barrel. (ang layo).

    Sa Pilipinas ay drinking fountain, sa ibang States as water fountain; sa Boston ay bubblah.

    Sa Pilipinas ay wallet, sa ibang States ay purse; sa Boston ay POCKABOOK.

    Sa Pilipinas ay grocery cart, sa ibang States ay shopping cart, sa Boston ay carriage. (nasaan ang kabayo ? hohoho,tigidig tigidig).

    Sa ibang States ay franks, sa Boston ay haht dogs.

    Sa Pilipinas ay police car, sa ibang States ay patrol units or black and whites, sa Boston ay crooza.

    sa Pinas ay bus, sa SF ay Muni at sa Boston ay looza crooza.

    Remember it is not rubber band but elastic.

    It is not a rotunda or a traffic circle but a rotary. (Ano phone ?)

    When you order the "cold tea" in China Town after 2:00 am & you'll get a kettle full of beer.

    If you think, Filipinos are worst drivers, think again

  • Bostonians think that it's their God-given right to cut offsomeone in traffic.
  • Bostonians believe that using your turn signal is a sign ofweakness

  • Always "bang a left" as soon as the light turns green, and oncomingtraffic always expects it.
  • Lastly, they think Rhode Island accents are annoying.Ask my sister who has been a resident of Boston since she migrated to States. She got a funny accent.

    The CA t

    Sunday, June 27, 2004

    Sinong Pete ?

    Dear Mouse,

    Sinong Pete ? Matagal ng tanong na nasa isip ko tuwing maririnig ko ang expression na For Pete’s sake!!!!!. Yong asawang Puti ng aking kaibigan ay sinabi ulit yon, habang nagdidiskusyon kami tungkol sa politics sa Pinas. Oo, Birhinya, pakialamero yong brutong yon sa Philippine current events mula ng ang kanilang TV ay nakatune-in sa TFC maghapon, magdamag. Mas kilala nga niya si Dilangalen kaysa doon sa Kandidato sa US Senate na binuking ng asawa na pinipilit siyang makipag sex sa iba.

    “Sinong Sinumpit ? Tanong ng kaibigan ko, habang pangal ang isang malaking hiwa ng kalderetang kambing.

    “Honey, she meant Pete”. Aha. Away na.

    Pero, hindi pumatol ang kaibigan ko. Busy siyang bunuin yong inihaw na bangus. Ako ang binalingan niya at sabi, "Tanungin mo. Matalino naman yan eh. Yon lang hindi niya alam na kambing pala ang kinakain. niya."

    MweheheheheheL

    Banat ni Puti. "It must have come from same expression, For the love of Mike,,for the love of Pete.

    "And who is that Mike, for Pete’s sake…cough it out, sweetie. "Galing ng aking kaibigang mang-asar. Yong lumpiang shanghai naman na napahaba ang kaniyang pinagkakaabalahan.

    Oo, nga pala bersdey noong kapatid na bunso ng boy-from-hell, kaya nagpapasasa na naman kami sa luto ng Pinoy.

    There’s nothing really in there but a substitution for a blasphemous, for God’s sake…Some attributed it to Michaelangelo when he was painting St. Peter’s. Jesus H. Christ, didn’t they know that he was Italian.

    "O, binanggit na naman niya yong pinsan ni J na may middle initial.. Ano ba ang H na yan." Yong kilawen naman ang hindi pinatawad ang aking kaibigan. hmm kulang sa suka.(Namintas pa.)

    Now there honey, I am sorry, it is a blasphemy even the intent of the people is really to avoid the mention of His name. It is not like saying George H. Bush and George W. Bush.

    Now there, you, blastfamous—blasting famous people blaster.

    Parang lasing na yong kaibigan ko. Hindi sa beer kung hindi doon sa grapes na denekorasyon ko sa center table. Pag nawala yong mga artificial butterfly doon, alam ko kung sino ang pasusukahin ko.

    O di ba nakakalukring ang mga expressions, clichés, aphorisms, sayings, etc. ng mga ‘Mericans. Kagaya ng , It is raining cats and dogs.Kung rich ang imagination mo, biruin mo yong I-visualize mo ang mga aso’t pusa na nahuhulog sa langit. (Ano kayang breed sila?) Kahit gumamit ka pa ng payong,tiyak sira.Dahil kakamultin nila. (not to consider their weights).

    Yon pala galing sa Norse mythology ang kasabihang ito kung saan ang mga Pusa ay pinaniniwalaang may impluwensiya sa weather lalo sa bagyo. Ang pusa raw ang nagdadala ng ulan (bwahahahahaha, hindi ko alam, ganiyan kami kapowerful. Ang alam ko lang ulan na dala ay luha saka yong pag pumupunta ako sa bathroom ugh). Ang aso naman daw ay nagdadala ng hangin.

    Ngayon ibang picture ang nakikita ko---mga pusang nahuhulog sa langit as ulan habang binabalibag tayo mula sa iba’t ibang direksiyon ng mga bulldogs,chiuahua, retriever, poodle at ibp.

    Yong long arm of law ay nagbigay sa akin ng larawan ng mga pulis na ang mga kamay ay stretchable.

    At yong “Cloud nine” ay nakakita ako ng picture ko na nakasakay ako sa ulap na may number nine.

    MARAMI PA kaya lang I am now a happy as a clam sana kaya lang palabas yong pelikula ni FPJ at ni Juday. Parang gusto ko ng tums. Lumapit pa yong Puting nang-aasar, Isn't he the presidential candidate who lost in your electiion.

    Gusto kong batuhin noong leche plan.

    Goodnight.

    The CA t

    Saturday, June 26, 2004

    GUSTO KONG MAGING

    Dear Mouse,

    May magandang diskusyon , si Sassy, Dr.Emer,Tito rolly at si Delata (kilala kaya niya si Abre Lata ?cornikotungkol sa edukasyon.

    Itong akin ay parang yong sabi ng titser, "Give Exampool.

    Come again, Ma'am?

    Rewind.

    “Gusto kong maging Manicurista..” Shock ang kapit- bahay ko na taga ADB at ang asawa ay Vice- President ng isang advertising agency nang marinig nila sa kanilang anak na maliit . Nakikipag-usap siya sa mga kalaro niya habang nag-uusap kami ng nanay niya sa azotea. Nagbalikbayan ako at mahaba ang aming kuwentuhan.

    “ Ang anak ko. Natatawa siyang nagsalita. Gumagastos ako ng libo sa tuition niya sa Assumption para maging manicurista lang. Nakikita niya siguro pag binibigyan ko ng tip yong aking manicuristang naghohome-service. Kala niya malaki na iyong perang yon.Ha ha ha ha.

    Ay wag niyang isnabin, ang mga manicurists sa Hollywood ay kumikita ng mababa na ang $500 a day. Sa mga karaniwang manicurista lang ay puwede na siguro ang mahigit $ 100. Si Rosemarie na kapatid ng nausyaming First Lady Susan ay manicurista yata sa isa sa siyudad sa California. Pero ang manicurista dito ay licensed. Ano man ang sabihin nila, gusto ko pa rin ang manicure at pedicure Pinoy.

    Rewind ulit.

    Naalala ko tuloy noong ako ay bata.. Daming gusto kong maging. Gusto kong maging titser kagaya ng aking mader. Mga kalaro ko ang aking mga pupils.Kasama rin yong aso, saka pusa. Yong aso interesado. Tumatahol siya pag oras ng recess naming. Humihingi rin ng cookies. Yong pusa, isnabera. Nakaupo nga doon pero bukas-sara lang ang mata.

    Bata pa ako ay kinakitaan na ako nang hilig sa pagdrawing. Lahat ng notebooks ng aking mga kuyakoy na hindi na ginagamit ay pinupuno ko ng drawing. Ang paborito kong Subject sa school ay lahat ng pertaining to Arts . Mahilig din akong manahi at magdekorasyon.

    Nang sinabi ko sa aking mader ang gusto kong kunin sa College, naghyper siya.“Anong gagawin mo pagkatapos mong grumaduate sa kursong may apelyidong ARTS.

    Pag pumunta ka sa Interior Designing, kailangan magkapangalan ka para ikaw ay kumita ng malaki. Pag nagpaint ka naman, mamatay ka muna bago tumaas ang presyo ng painting mo. Ganyan si mader. Practical siyang tao. Pinagnanursing niya ako o abogado. Pag marami na raw akong pera, maaari ko nang gawing hobby ang aking previous interests.

    Hindi ako puwedeng mag-abugado dahil ayaw ko ng memorization. Siguro daming namemorize si Sassy noon.

    Nars na ang aking mga kapatid na babae. May pera nga sila. Engineering ang tapos ng aking mga kapatid na lalaki. May pera ang mga asawa nila. Ako, tagabilang lang pera ng may pera.Himutok.

    Pero hindi ko nakalimutan ang aking GUSTONG MAGING. Kaya pag hindi ako nakaharap sa aking laptop, nagkukutingting naman ako sa bahay.

    Ito ang aking mga ginawa:

    Mula sa hubad at pangit na lampshade na ganito:

    Para sa malaking image. Ito .

    ginawa ko siyang isang malanding lampshade na ganito:

    Para sa malaking image. Click ito.

    materials:

  • 1. ginupit na taas na bahagi ng kurtinang namantsahan sa ibaba.nakakahinayangitapon. (reminder sa akin na huwag pag sasamahin ang puti sa may kulay dum dum).
  • 2. ribbon na hiningi o inagaw sa pamangkin
  • 3. isang pirasong pink na tela para kamison ng kurtina
  • 4. lumang lampshade
  • 5. malaking karayom
  • 6. retrato o pangalan ng isang taong kinaiinisan.

    Kagaya ng taong kinaiinisan niApol.

  • Anong gagawin sa retrato kamo? Di tuwing tusok ng karayom, imaginin ninyong puwet niya ang tinutusok mo. O di ba luffet noon. bwahahaha

    Ito pa. Ginamit ko ay basyong plastic ng isang galong Magnolia, isang putol na katawan ng manika. Marami nyan sainyong nakakalat siguro. Yong mga walang paa. Ito nahila ko lang sa kapitbahay ko.

    Anong silbi nito?Lalagyan ng toilet paper.

    Para sa mas malaking image, click ito.

    Siyanga pala no nga ba ang topic natin? Gulo koh.

    The CA t

    Friday, June 25, 2004

    Vagina Monologues

    Dear Mouse,

    A friend e-mailed the link to this picture.

    She is Eve Ensler, the creator of Vagina Monologues .She has a new one-woman show---The GOOD BODY. Her mission is to empower individual women one personal story, one revelation and one revolution at a time. Be afraid, producers of Extreme Over and the Swan.

    But this is not the reason why this friend sent the link. (Kailangan Tagalog na para hindi maintindihan ng ibang nagbabasa na walang Tagalog-English Dictionary dahil binawi ko.)

    Kamukha mo?

    Bakya siguro talaga ang aking face.

    Hmmm kung totoo ang kaniyang buhok. Kasi sa akin totoo. Pati bangs.Makapal, malago at straight--salamat sa coconut oil na ginagamit kong pang hot-oil treatment noong bata pa ako. Hininto ko na lang yon noong nasa college na ako dahil tanong noong isang SWETOR, "Anong shampoo ang ginagamit mo?"Para daw naamoy niya ang gamot ng kaniyang ina sa kanilang mga pilay, lagnat. HINDI SIYA NAKAFIRST BASE. HUMPHHHH.

    Yong mata definitely, akin yan. Yan ang aking pamatay sa mga sekyo sa mga building na dinadaanan ko papunta sa trabaho ko noon sa financial district. Tanong tuloy noong aking friend,"Bakit sekyo killer ka? "Iba iba pang lahi. Yong isa kapareho ni Brenda Fraser as George of the Jungle.Kaclumsy.Siguro kung mababa lang yong poste ng ilaw, nauntog rin. Humppph.

    Kasi may mata akong palaging parang iiyak. Ang tawag ng isang kakilala ay matang dolorosa.

    Yong ilong, bawasan natin.

    Ang ilong ko ay tamang tama lang. Pag inilubog ako sa tubig na ilong lang nakalabas,meron namang makikita sa ibabaw ng tubig.Pag ang weather ay maganda. Pag choppy ang tubig, kailangan ko na ng oxygen tank.

    Magandang umaga po.

    The CA t

    Near death experience 2 and Benigno Aquino

    Dear Mouse,

    “ I felt myself floating in that room. I could hear the frantic conversations of the doctors and nurses. They were trying to revive me. I felt light and could see the medical team working on a body that seemed to be mine”.

    "In that unconscious state, I saw a very familiar figure, dressed in white. He seemed to be floating too since we were looking down on the doctors and nurses."

    Read on

    The CA t

    Thursday, June 24, 2004

    Your Honor, what the hell…

    Dear Mouse,

    This judge should have read Dr.Emer’s blog about ED (erectile dysfunction) and viagra.

    Blush bushblushblush


    JUNE 24--While seated on the bench, an Oklahoma judge used a male enhancement pump, shaved and oiled his nether region, and pleasured himself, state officials charged yesterday in a petition to remove the jurist. According to the below complaint filed by the Oklahoma Attorney General, Donald D. Thompson, 57, was caught in the act by a clerk, trial witnesses, and his longtime court reporter (these unsettling first-hand accounts will make you wonder what's going on under their black robes).


    Read on:

    The CA t

    Hell

    Dear Mouse,

    Some do not believe that there is hell but Nicolas D. Kristof does, he had been there.

    Click and believe.

    HELL

    Elly Velez Pamatong is going to show us what hell is when he starts burning down schools if GMA does not step down before July 15.

    Altogether now,

    GO TO HELL

    The CA t

    Wednesday, June 23, 2004

    Prayers for Ali Viloria

    Dear Mouse,

    Manny Viloria's little angel is sick of Kawasaki disease.

    May I request the fellow bloggers and readers to say a little prayer for Ali and send words of comfort to Manny and Angel.

    Oh God of the Universe, we commend to your loving care,Ali Viloria. Relieve her pain,guard her from all danger, restore to her/ your gifts of gladness and strength, and raise this child up to a life of service to you. Hear us, we pray, for you dear Name's sake. Amen
    .

    An Act of Love need not be a gesture great and grand A smile can work a miracle and show you understand, being there in time of need trascends a spoken word; a helping hand is simply grand when hearts begin to bleed.

    ---Clay Harrison

    Cathy

    Tuesday, June 22, 2004

    Macapagal Stole Election from Poe-Pimentel

    Dear Mouse

    Ang mga sumusunod ay ang mga nakakalokang binitiwang salita ng mga kilalang pulitiko

  • Ping on FPJ

    “We have never been on the same page in our lifetime and I see no reason why we should be.”

    Mataray. wala akong masabi. Pinaasa-asa nga naman siya na magbibigay si FPJ sa kaniya noong election.

  • Macapagal 'stole' election from Poe -- Pimentel

    Ah sobra na yan. Dati inagaw, ngayon naman ninakaw. hindi ba binili?

  • "I’m optimistic," said Tan who is known for being media-shy. Tan had predicted that because of the country’s crippling weaknesses in governance and political culture, the peso could drop to 100 to the dollar and even to as low as 120 to $1. Yesterday, he said the peso would recover soon. "Fifty to one", he said.

    May kasabihan,old soldiers never die, they just fade away. Ako naman, taipans never die, they just change loyalties.

    Kasama ba siya ni Ping na mag ta-TAN GO.

  • The CA t

    Bullies Bully

    Dear Mouse,

    It is great to have brothers. They shoo away school bullies. The downside is they drive admirers too. You know the puppy love thing. blush.

    But even with four brothers, I was not spared from the scums of the schoolyard.The BULLIES.

    They tease, ridicule, shove, threaten and worst, they beat up kids, girls and boys alike, just like what happened to Sassy's little girl.

    During my time,(feeling old olredi)boys had more manners even if they belonged to this group of browbeating rascals. Their excuse not to hurt girls was: "Kung hindi ka lang babae" tapos aamba ng suntok. I used to react naman…eh ano kung babae, ito gusto mo, sabay pakita ang aking kamao? (I have to confess, I did that only when I was sure a brother was just around the corner).

    When I was in the elementary, I was taunted by those pesky little brats because of my mom. Not really because of her but of what she did. She always put a big ribbon on my hair. The wimps loved pulling the poor big ribbon while they made whirring noises like what flying helicopter sounds.

    I did not tell my mom and my brothers who were enrolled in another school. They also teased me about the ribbons. .BOYS. One time, the trio los bobos(they belonged to the fourth row) managed to get hold of my ribbon and pulled it from my hair. I saw blood. I kicked a shin, two balls and scratched one arm. The three did not know what hit them. I did not have the time to warn them. Being with male siblings, I witnessed how they prepared for what they believed as a rite that would pass. BULLYING. They enrolled in self defense classes during summer. My mom sewed their kimono-like uniforms. I wore them too as oversized bath robe ... Haaa.Putol ang sabon, dumulas pala ooops.

    According to a study conducted, girls seek more vengeance than boys. "In contrast, young boys may react more 'in the moment,"' noted Dr.Cynthia J. Mollen of the Children's Hospital of Philadelphia.

    I disagree your Honor.One thing that I learned was that getting back at them did not stop them from bullying. Habang nasusugatan, lalong tumatapang. Hindi patatalo sa babae.

    I developed a buddy system. Never was I alone negotiating the long road from school to our place. I was afraid all the time. Although our house was a walking distance from school, a lot of things can happen between point A and point B. I could not tell my mom. If I have another sibling who knew what I was going thorugh, he could have gained an extra TV hour viewing during weekdays by making "sumbong". That is why I did not tell a single soul residing in my house.Not even to a mouse. That was a mistake. .Experts recommend that children should be able to tell an adult or a member of a family in order to stop the anguish that they may be undergoing.

    They could not get me. One afternoon while we were preparing to have a recitation, our teacher excused herself and went out.The nasty boys sat two desks away from me.I looked to their direction, curious of what they were doing.They got a small bottle, stuffed dry ice cubes and put back the lid. kablaaaaaaammmmm.

    One classmate of mine got hit on the cheek by the small fragments of the bottle. He got a lot of blood on his face. It was just a small bottle and the impact covered only a small space. About 3 or 4 who were seated near the bottle. I was the target though. The teacher came back and summoned for help. The wounded were brought to the hospital. After the ambulance sped away, a classmate pointed to my shoulder and left arm. I was also bleeding.

    When I came back to school, we got a new teacher. I did not understand the word "terminated" then. The bullies were expelled.

    I believed wherever they went, they remained bullies as long as people would dismiss bullying as a part of growing up. School fights,yes.

    They may be symptoms of abuse at home, retardation just like the boy-in-hell,undue influence and wrong crowd.

    What? waiting for the punchline?

    Oke.Kung FU fighting..yaaah

    The CA t

    Near Death Experiences

    Dear Mouse,

    My choice of my nickname CAT was not because of my love for the felis catus. Cats have nine lives. I used up four of them. But my near death experiences were not like those who have already seen the light. I must not have reached the entrance of the tunnel yet.

    Do you know anybody who has the same story? Read if you must.

    The CA t

    Monday, June 21, 2004

    They all need shrinks and nails

    Dear Mouse,

    According to Sassy,

    "Every person aspiring for public office--elective or appointive--must be subjected to, and pass, such a test. Plus a sound psychological test to prove that he is not, and had no propensity towards, megalomania."

    Not only megalomania, C.

    But also a test to measure their maturity levels. It seemed that most of our candidates have emotional quotients that are lower than their waist lines.

    Just take a look at this news:

    (I got to publish the excerpt in my commentaries para dating intellectual din.)

    Pamatong stops traffic with spikes

    Pamatong, in a radio interview, said he believed scattering metal spikes on major roads in Metro Manila, Baguio, Davao, Cagayan, Bicol and Laguna was for the "good of the country."

    Excuse me ha. Pipigain ko lang itong panyo. Masyadong nabagbag ang aking damdamin sa dakila niyang nasa sa kabutihan ng bansa. Prrrrsss sobra ang iyak ko.

    Parang gusto kong pulutin ang mga pakong iyon at SUMIGAW ng CRUCIFY HIM.

    He clarified that the attack was not meant to kill or hurt anyone, but simply to call the attention of government officials to stop being corrupt.

    Ah ganon? Ah ganon? @#$%^&* siya. Anong magagawa noong mga tsuper na nabutas ang mga gulong dahil sa pako sa pagpuksa ng corruption? Ang nakinabang ay ang mga vulcanizing shops na malapit. (Hindi kaya kinasabwat siya ng mga ito?)

    Pamatong apologized to vehicle owners whose tires were punctured by the metal spikes, and asked them to demand remuneration from the "crooks in government."

    Bitiwan ninyo ako, bitiwan ninyo ako. Pupukpukin ko ng bakya na may pako ang taong ito para matauhan. Sa dami ng crooks, paano nila malalaman ang lalapitan.

    >"I know some people could have met an accident and could have died in the process, but I hope you’ll understand that before I did this I wrote to" Armed Forces of the Philippines (AFP) chief Gen. Narciso Abaya and Philippine National Police (PNP) chief Director General Hermogenes Ebdane Jr., "asking them to... be the protector of the people but they are protecting the crooks and comedians... the aliens controlling the government," he said.

    Si Pamatong na tumira sa Estet ng matagal na ginawang battle cry ang statehood ng Pilipinas.Bumalik o ideneport sa Pilipinas at tatakbo sana sa pagkapresidente na ang plataporma ay gawing American citizen ang lahat ng Pilipino oras na siya'y mahalal.

    EQ= zero.

    LEGARDA

    "The fight is not over yet. It just moved over to the joint Congress," Sen. Loren Legarda told a press forum. Legarda was the running mate of opposition candidate Fernando Poe Jr.

    Why can't they emulate some US politicians who concede and offer to help to administration after the winners are proclaimed.

    We are paying the Senators and Congressmen not to amuse us. That is what entertainment people are for.

    Asked what would happen after Congress had approved the committee's final report, Pimentel said: "Ultimately, the implication is that the majority will have succeeded in ramming down our throats a flawed report that is untrue, which is not based on the truth which we wanted to emerge."

    "We will see how the people will accept that," he said.

    Hello, Mr. Pimentel. If people were disilussioned by the result of the election, their silence and nonparticaption in mass actions indicate that it is not worth fighting for.

    Kaya tayo na lang ay magsama-sama, magkasundo sundo at magsayaw ng ocho ocho ocho. Aray.....

    The CA t

    Saturday, June 19, 2004

    Jose Pidal, Jose Bagal and Jose Rizal

    Dear Mouse,

    The message is also in the form of a Dear ... letter that starts with:

    On June 19, 1861, 143 years ago, a certain Jose was born in Calamba, Laguna. This Jose will become famous and bring honor to his Motherland through his varied accomplishments in science, literature, and his active involvement in the Propaganda Movement.

    He ended it with this:

    Today, I turn 143 years old. I feel old, weary and sad because my name happens to be Jose.

    Signed:

    Fr. Roberto P. Reyes

    The running priest must have thought that the same letter would have been written by the national hero if he were alive today.

    Read the letter.

    The CA t

    The other side of the cutCAT

    I became disturbed when reports of my “apparitions” in the banks, ( I even hoped it was not a robbery case), in the church and even at home were becoming more frequent so that I thought, I was cloned, I have a twin who was separated from me since birth or these people were conspiring to drive me to the edge.

    Do not read, you might believe.

    The CA t

    Friday, June 18, 2004

    Walk out tayo

    Dear Mouse,

    Mahilig akong magwalk out noong istudyent ako. Hindi ko ito dapat ikukuwento para hindi pamarisan pero kung alam ko lang na itutuloy ng mga abugado ni FPJ sana nasabi ko sa kanila na huwag silang magwowalk out kung walang crying ladies and gentlemen. Walang drama. Sabi nga ni MLQ3, the opposition blinked. Dapat, hindi blinked kung hindi wept.

    Ang walk out ng mga computer programmers/operators (hindi ako sure kung ano ang mga titles nila) noong laban nina Marcos at Aquino, ang isa sa mga pangyayaring nakapagpa-init sa mga mamamayan upang lalong masigasig na labanan ang pamahalaan sa anumang paraan.Umiyak ang mga babaeng kapitbahay namin noon. Hindi ko naintindihan bakit.

    Ang walk out ng mga private prosecutors sa impeachment trial ni Erap ay makabagbag damadamin din. Nakahiga ako noong nanood sa aking TFC, tapos nagblinked din ako, nakita ko na lang umiiyak na sa Loren pati si Drilon. Hindi ko rin pala napush yong record button ng aking VCR.Parang gusto kong i-rewind ang TV ko.

    Balik tayo sa walk out ko. Unang walk out ko sa male prof. ko sa Natscie. First day, sabi sa amin noong isang grupo, walk outan namin siya dahil balita nila, kalahati ang ibinabagsak. Unfair pa magbigay ng grade dahil marahil daw nagbubukas lang ng payong, itinatapon pataas ang classcards at kung ano ang kumapit sa payong ay yoon lang ang pasado.Usapan na yon. Unang iksamen ilan lang kaming pumasa. Pasang awa ang sabi niya. Ikalawang iksamen, nagkasundong magwalk out. Sabi ko ready ako. Ang iksamen niya kasi hindi yong nilelecture niya o kaya yong nasa mga nababasa sa references. About politics at current issues. Dumating siya, lumabas ako. Walang sumunod. Nageksam sila.Nag #$%&&* Ako lang pala ang lumabas.

    @#$%^&&****ulit.

    Tinawag niya ako pagkatapos ng eksam. Kinausap. Natawa siya. Bilib raw siya sa akin. May paninin- digan. Kaya lang gullible. Madaling maniwala at madaling magtiwala. Sabi niya kahit binata siya hindi niya ako liligawan. Baka walk-outan ko raw siya sa kasal.Pinapasok niya ako ulit. Nang matapos ang semestre, pinakamataas ang aking marka. Beeeh sa mga kaklase ko.

    The CA t

    Bangungot ng Mundo-World without the Filipinos

    Dear Mouse,

    Rey Rojo who is currently a student in the UK typifies that group of Filipinos who according to Michael Tan are pretty good at putting Filipinos down.

    He must be a frustrated general. His essay about Patronizing Paisanos was full of generalizations. Take this for example and I quote:

    With the US being almost a home turf for transplanting Filipino values in a Western setting, sociologists naively discover the lack of Filipinism in young Filipino-Americans. The multi-cultural diversity and typological youth culture in the modern West is the broad explanation, but these post-modern adventurers practically do not see themselves as owing anything to the land in which their parents were born.

    I want him to know that although he is bloody thousand miles away from bloody New York, will it make him proud to know that for two nights the red, blue and yellow colors of the Philippine flag will flicker from the same tower where a crimson heart had ended Tom Hanks’ ardent search for Meg Ryan in “Sleepless in Seattle”?

    This was not a project of a scholar like him from the Philippines whose observations about the Filipinos may be isolated to his circle of friends and to some local celebrities never heard of in the USA.

    The lighting of Manhattan Building in celebration of the independence of the Philippines earlier was made possible by Esguerra and fellow members of the Collaborative Opportunities for Raising Empowerment, Inc.,an organization of young Filipino professionals.

    He looked at the Filipino value of helping one another as kababayans or paisanos as a way of gaining favor or feeling big and better.

    I do not think this Filamgroup group, the Philippine Forum is helping the Filipinas forced into slavery in the US in order to earn brownie points from him.

    FilAm group unveils drive versus trafficking Rita Villadiego, May 26, 2004 NEW YORK

    Two Filipinas – Elma Manliguez and Mary Jane Lorico, were forced into slavery in the U.S. last year. They were brought from the Philippines and made to work without pay in American homes in New York, in violation of the 13th Amendment, or the anti-slavery law. Through the help of Philippine Forum, the two Filipinas sued their employers.

    Oo Birhinya, kahit ngayong nagkakasapot sapot na ang world wide web, mayroon pang slavery sa Estet.

    According to Rojo:

    There are also Filipino friends here who would rather not mention their origins if only to avoid answering questions about the Marcoses or dog-eaters. Why would one like to explain his connection to a Third World country that exports brains and prostitutes, and produces domestic helpers?

    If he did not hear about Patricia Evangelista's speech that won the nods of the judges of the snobbish United Kingdom, then it is time for him to read Michael Tan's article, World without Filipinos

    I like this one best:

    As they converse, Annan and the Pope agree on one thing: the world has become a quieter place since the Filipinos disappeared. It isn't just the silencing of work and office equipment formerly handled by Filipinos; no, it seems there's much less laughter now that the Filipinos aren't around, both the laughter of the Filipinos and those they served.

    HAHAHAHAHA

    The CA t

    Demonstrasyon-Ano ang Isinusulong?

    Dear Mouse,

    Ang mga demonstrador ngayon ay hinaharap lamang ang hose.

    Utang na loob,kung gusto ninyong maligo, magdala kayo ng sabon.. OOOps.

    Ang mga demonstrador noon ay hinaharap ang mga nguso ng armalites.

    May mga malaking kaibahan na ngayon ang demonstrasyon. And demonstrasyon noong panahon ni Marcos ay pakikibaka sa isang diktaduryal na pamahalaan sa tulong ng mapanikil na dayuhan. Isang paniniwalang hindi isinusulong ang interes ng isang indibidwal.

    Ngayon ang demonstrasyon ay isang pakikibaka para sa kapakanan ng isang tao at mga taong nasa likod niya.Mga Pikon.

    Sinisira nila ng legasiya ng mga kabataang nabuwal sa dilim sa paghahanap ng kalayaan hindi lang para sa kanila kung hindi sa mga isisilang pang Pilipino. Ayaw nilang danasin ng kanilang mga anak ang kanilang dinanas na may busal sa bibig.

    Mahiya ang mga pekeng demonstrador na ito. Wag nilang bigyan ng masamang alaala ang mga Kabataang tunay na may idelohiya.

    The CA t

    Thursday, June 17, 2004

    The Pact

    Dear Mouse,

    Supernatural phenomenon leaves you a believer as it happens.When it is over, doubt arises. That is a nature’s way of keeping the balance of the two worlds, the known and the unknown. I just happened to see them both. Perhaps.

    Do not read. Do not tell me I did not warn you.

    The CA t

    Si Putin -Utang na loob

    Dear Mouse,

    Si Putin, hindi mo man siputin ay si Putin pa rin.

    Yan ang sabi ng lolo ko pag napag-uusapan ang kaibigan niyang ang pangalan ay Putin. Short for Rasputin. Madalas niyang sabihin, “ Put…na bleep,bleep hindi na naman sumipot si Putin”sasabihin niya pag siya ay naindiyan sa kanilang drinking session.

    Ang sinasabi kong Putin ay si Vladimir Putin, that vlady President of Russia.

    Katulad ng mga pangulo ng ibang bansa kasama ang Pilipinas,si Putin ay nailagay sa kapangyarihan dahil sa kayamanan ng mga bagong oligarchs sa Russia. Oo Birhinya, samantalang pinag-iinitan ni Quiroz ang mga katulad naming mga sell out,

    Aniya:

    We do it at the first sign of trouble. I have said this countless times, but it remains true. Our national dream is our national tragedy: It is to live abroad.Specifically, it is to live in America

    Aray,pisa ang kalyoko.

    si Esposo naman ay sinisisi rin ang mga oligarchs.

    Aniya:

    If the majority of Filipinos who are poor knew how the exploitation operates, how the oligarchs control the levers of economic and political power through their proxies in the executive, legislative and judicial branches of government - then a real people's party would have evolved by now and with the majority vote that they represent, they can take over the powers of the state
    .

    Ngayon ay nagdeklara ng giyera si Putin laban sa mga Russian Oligarchs na mga ito, kasama ang tumulong sa kaniya para siya mahalal, si Berezovsky. Wala siyang UTANG NA LOOB.

    Utang-na-loob-Birhinya, ang utang na loob ay uso lang sa Pilipino. Ang ibang mamamayan ng Mundo ay ni hindi marunong magtenk yu. Tayo ay magiging habang buhay na alipin ng isang tao na nakatulong sa atin sa panahon ng ating pangangailangan. Did somebody mention the name, RENE SAGUISAG?

    Pakilakas hindi ko MARINIG. Ano kanyo Lopez?

    Ang ibinigay ni Putin na dahilan sa kaniyang pakikibaka ay ang kinatatakutan niyang pagkontrol ng mga oligarchs na ito sa ekonomiya ng bansa at sa pulitika.

    Ang sabi nga sa balita:

    But all shared a common thirst for money and power, the latter of which included establishing -- or maintaining -- connections to the political elite in Russia, a country where the rule of law is still sometimes trumped by the rule of in-laws.

    Kaya sila ay isa-isa niyang kinakasuhan ng tax evasion, money laundering at marami pang kaso na baka kasama pa ang pagkakaroon ng biyenan na pakialamera.

    Parang bumabalik sila sa kapanahunan ni Marcos sa atin kung saan nakipagbaka rin siya sa mga oligarchs.Isa-isa silang bumagsak maliban sa kaniyang mga cronies.

    Ngayon, balik ang mga oligarchs natin. Kaniya kaniyang kandidato. Sisiputin kaya tayo ng isang PUTIN na makikilaban sa mga oligarchs na ito hindi dahil sa ayaw nila ng kakumpetensiya. Pahinog kayo. Kumain na lang kayo ng mangga ni Anp at hintayin ninyong magpaliposuction ang ating mga pulitiko ng kanilang mga utak. Di ba Doc. Emer?

    Canned laughter….delatang tawa. Hak hak hak.

    The CA t

    Wednesday, June 16, 2004

    Whose Line is it?

    Dear Mouse,

    The cast of the show Whose Line is it have to be creative, spontaneous and funny.

    Some of our celebrities can tickle our bones without really trying.

    Whose line is this ?

    "All our lives, President Ferdinand Marcos and I were so deeply committed to God, country, the truth and the Filipino people, but were portrayed by the unauthorized ‘Imelda’ documentary with malice, inaccuracies and innuendoes."

    Canned laughter…HA HA HA HA HA

    He admonished Pangilinan not to bang gavel very hard, fearing that what had just happened was a bad omen.

    "Hindi po nabali... nakalas lang. Naibalik na,"

    Bottled laughter. Huk huk huk huk huk

    The CA t

    Magkano ang dalawang bilyoneses?

    Dear Mouse,

    Bakit kailangan pa ang certificate of good moral character para kay Bolante galing sa mga fellow Rotarians para pasubalian na siya ay naanggihan sa 50 per cent commission sa GMA funds para sa mga magsasaka.

    Hindi ko sinasabing siya ay humingi ng saklolo sa kaniyang mga kabarangay. Hindi ko naman sinasabing sayang naman ang kalahating milyon ginastos niya para i-blow out ang mga fellow Rotarians niya. For all we know baka fellow Rotarian din niya ang nagleak noong balitang mala –Imeldang pagcelebrate ng pananalo .Hindi ko sinasabing ang dahilan kaya kailangang sumali ka sa mga organisasyon, para may kakampi ka na ay para masabing ikaw ay hindi kagulang-gulang na negosyante.? HINDI KO SIYA INAAKUSAHAN. Si Chavez ang umaakusa sa kaniya.

    Kung ang networth niya ay 270 milyoneses, magkano dito ang kinita niya noong hindi pa siya kunektadosa gobyerno at magkano ang idinagdag noong siya ay isa ng opisyales. Simple lang makuha yon. Tingnan ang itinubo ng kaniyang ari-arian ng walang fertilizer. Phulease, huwag nila akong sabihan na hindi niya kailangan ang posisyong yaon. Hindi naman niya linya ang Agriculture o kaya ang kaniyang negosyo naman ay para sa mga patay, bakit siya pumasok sa departmentong yan ? Phlease, huwag nilang sabihing may pera siya at hindi niya kailangan ang pera. Bakit sina Jamby, Enrile atbp ay magpupumilit maging Senador ?

    Si Villar at asawa niya ay mga milyonaryo rin pero ayaw nilang bitiwan ang Las Pinas.

    At please ang dalawang bilyoneses ay di hamak na malaki kaysa 270 milyoneses. Subukan ninyong bilangin sa daliri ninyo. Isama na ninyo ang paa. O diba malaki?

    TheCAt

    Wiki at bagong Recipe ni Sassy at ni Manny V.

    Dear Mouse,

    Pagkatapos ng blog, may bagong pakulo na ang tawag nila ay Wiki.

    Veni, Vidi ...Wiki?

    By Erika Brown

    Just when you thought you figured out what a blog is, here comes the latest Silicon Valley idea intriguing enough to attract some venture capital. It's a wiki (from the word for "fast" in Hawaiian). A wiki is a kind of communal Web site that allows nontechies to create and edit Web pages. If a blog is one person's rant, a wiki is a blog for, and by, many.

    Si Sassy ay may bagong Recipe para sa mga bloggers.Gagawa siya ng bagong journal na parang menu. Ang nasa menu ay mga pangalan ng bloggers at ang maiksing panimula ng kanilang blog.Ang maganda sa grupo ay iba-iba ang kanilang kaalaman. May doctor na paborito ang Lakers,may mga batang-batang progresibo na ang pag-iisip, may mga guro, may mga abugado, mga pinoy at pinay expats,mga OFW,mga inhenyero,mga programmers, at may pusa.(ngiyaw).Abangan.

    Maganda rin ang proyekto ni Manuel V.Mga bata naman ang ibig niyang bigyan ng community blog. Hmmmmm,bata,,puwederinaakoditoah.'ray.

    The CA t

    Google,Yahoo,pinakialaman

    Dear Mouse,

    Kahapon, natuliro kami ni Sassy nang hindi namin maacess ang google at yahoo. SBC Yahoo dsl ang gamit ko kaya pinagpawisan ako ng malapot. Ilang oras bago nangyari ay may napuna akong kakaiba. Dati-dati pagtinype ko ang cathcath sa google, number one ang now what cat.May sabotahe. ahem... kasi yong number one at number 2 ay mga retrato lang na may cathcath na caption. Tapos tuluyang nawala na ang google. Nakakagooglegigil.Ang tinamaan ng kulog, nahack pala ang Akamai.

    NEW YORK (Reuters) - A hacker attack on Internet services company Akamai Technologies Inc. disrupted access to large Web sites including those run by Yahoo Inc. (Nasdaq:YHOO - news), Google, and Microsoft for up to 2 hours early on Tuesday, according to Web tracker Keynote Systems Inc.

    Sino man ang o mga hackers na yon, pawisan sana kayo ng munggo pag umupo kayo sa trono ngayon. Ipagsisindi ko kayoo ng kandilang itim.

    The CA t

    Tuesday, June 15, 2004

    Tatay na Nanay pa

    Dear Mouse,

    Naisulat ko nang minsan na ang aking paboritong hairdresser ay ang nasirang si Jun Encarnacion. Tuwing pumupunta ako sa kaniyang beauty saloon( yong orig),naikukuwento sa akin ng kaniyang mga goirls niya na nasa Estet ang kaniyang asawa at anak.

    Kagabi,nakita ko si Trystan ang kaniyang anak na tinalakay ang masalimuot na buhay niya noong siya ay lumalaki at nalaman niya ang tunay na pagkatao ng kaniyang ama. Napalapit lang siyang muli sa ama nang malaman niyang mayroon itong kanser at ilang buwan na lamang ang itatagal ng buhay.

    Sumunod ay ang kuwento ng isang bakla rin na nagpupumilit maging isang mabuting ama, ina at asawa kahit ang kaniyang anyo ay sa isang babae na maganda pa sa kaniyang asawa.

    Dalawang propesor ko noon ang nasa ikatlong kasarian. Pareho silang may-asawa at pareho silang normal kung tingnan. Napalapit ako pareho sa kanila dahil siguro ako ang may personalidad na kung hindi mortal na kaaway ng mga prof. ay isa namang dakilang sipsip.

    Yong unang propesor ay mapinong kumilos. Ang asawa naman niya ay mas mukhang macho sa kaniya. Ang anak niya noon ay nandito sa Estet at hindi bumalik sa Pinas pagkatapos grumaduate sa isang MBA school.

    Yong ikalawa kog propesor ay may kagarapalan.. Boses lalaki siya kung makipag-usap sa kaniyang asawa na isa ring propesor. Nguni't kung maraming guwapo, makikita mo ang kaniyang anyo na para bang gumigiring tandang. Charing.

    Dito sa Estet, ang nag-aasawang dalawang lalaki ay parehong nasa ikatlong kasarian. Ayaw ng tunay na lalaki na makisama sa isang may pusong babae kahit ito pa ay nagpapalit ng anyo at ng iba pang parte ng katawan. Ilang taong lang ang nakaraan nang, isang labimpitong taon ang pinatay dahil ito ay isang bading. Kamakailan lamang,isang tinedyer na Pilipinoang pinatay dahil hindi raw niya sinabi ang tunay niyang pagkatao bago sila nagtalik.

    Ang Massachussets ay bingiyan na nang karapatan ang mga taong pareho ng kasarian upang magpakasal. Ang San Francisco na pinaniniwalaan na liberal ay hindi pa pinaintulutan ang ganitong uri ng kasal. Hanggang awit na lamang sila...I left my heart in San Francisco...isang awit para sa minamahal na lalaki mula sa isang nagmamahal na kabaro.

    The CA t

    Moment in time

    Dear Mouse,

    Attention: XP

    Moment of truth din (titorolly has his momenttoo)

    KRIS

    "It’s been five years, Kuya Boy (Abunda), I should move on. Cristina is still in love with Ipe". This was blurted out by Kris Aquino when Boy Abunda tried hard to get her reaction on the video clips that had shown her ex-lover Philip Salvador with his new wife. The wife looked like a victim of the pinking scissors of a cosmetic surgeon (sabi ni Apol…lufffettt). Kris is much, much prettier.

    The truth is I had a crush on Philip noon. WALANG TATAWA. WALANG TATAWA OO, Birhinya, may moments din na hibang ako. Siguro kamukha lang niya yong totoong crush ko kaya he reminded me of him. (hhhhhhmmmm palusot pa eh.)

    Pimentel

    Pimentel told a journalist that it took him years to build his credibility. It's a pity that it took only a small fraction of that time to waste away his reputation.He was one of the politicians I admired until the impeachment of Estrada. I sensed that there was a part of him who wanted to save the beleaguered ex-President (utang-na-loob sa pagkakapasok sa anak niya sa isang bangko?) and there was a part of him who wanted to dispense justice . Ngayon wala na rin yong crush ko sa kaniya.hrrrmph

    Ang crush ko na lang si Brad Pitt.

    The CA t

    Monday, June 14, 2004

    Imelda Romualdez-Marcos-the movie

    Dear Mouse,

    According to Webster, cinematography is the art or science of motion-picture photography.

    Britannica’s more detailed description of the term says that cinematography is the art and technology of motion-picture photography. It involves such techniques as the general composition of a scene; the lighting of the set or location; the choice of cameras, lenses, filters ...

    So if Ramona Diaz won that award; it is not because of Imelda who according to XP "truly embodies the beautiful and the truly ridiculous" but rather it was the talent of Diaz as the film’s producer who won the raves of the judges.

    Imelda claimed that she is just a simple person so "why make her as a problem".

    If every person who ordered the closing of big department stores in the US so she and her jet setting friends could shop until they dropped then everyone would wish for a simple life.

    The CA t

    Sunday, June 13, 2004

    Was it a dream?

    Dear Mouse,

    Some people do not believe in ghosts. I do.

    My eyes must had remained closed for a few minutes. It struck me when I opened my eyes that someone was standing in front of me. I froze and remained motionless for God, I did not know how long.

    It was him. He was talking but I could not hear his voice. His mouth was open but it was more of a smile. I heard him said that I should love his family and understand his other daughter. He knew something too. He said he was not going to leave me. He would be forever in my life, my heart and by my side.

    Then the nurse came. She said I could make use of hot coffee. She said that I was white as sheet, as if I had seen a ghost. Did I or was it just a dream?

    Read more...

    The CA t

    She bangs

    Dear Mouse,

    She bangs, she bangs…Yang ang kanta ni William Hung erm Ricki Martin na inulit-ulit naming kagabi kasama ang mga background dancers (moi and two friends). Ang kumanta ay bayaw ng kaibigan ko. Isa siyang computer programmer na aking inuurirat kung ano ang bibilhin ko para gawing wifi ang aking laptop. Oo, Birhinya, gusto kong madala sa bathroom, sa laundry room ang aking Toshiba notebook.

    Isang kaibigang abugado ang nagmimic kay William at isang kaibigang webdesigner ang taga Palakpak. Mas sipsip sa kumakanta ang magic mike ng aking kaibigan. Naka 99 per cent ako sa kinanta kong Sana’y Wala Nang Wakas ni Sharon Cuneta at Duet sa isang bisitang babae ng Borderline ni Madonna. May kasama pang sayaw yan. (walang alak sa party. kaya hindi kami lasing). Birthday party ng anak ng isa sa mga barkada. Kawawang bata, nakatingin siya sa kaniyang mga magulang at mga ninang at ninong na tila ba nagtatanong ng: WHO ARE YOU PEOPLE?

    Rare occasions lang ito(ooops may b-day na naman palang darating.) Ito ang panahon na sinasamantala naming na “magwala”. Ito ang mga pagkakataong kumakain kami ng mga pagkaing Pilipino katulad ng lechon. (yong mansanas nasa puwetan. Hindi kasi bumuka ang bunganga), ubeng haleya, suman, pitsy pitsy, puto, kutsinta at saka mangga.

    Kasama ko ang kaibigan kong programmer na may website para sa mga “singles” ngunit hanggang ngayon ay binata pa. Ang dailan niya kung bakit hindi pa siya nakakita ng pakakasalan ay nangangailangan pa ng isang artikulo.

    The CA t

    "Marcos pa rin"-I vague your pardon"

    Dear Mouse,

    Ako ay patron ng Art of Being Vague.

    Yon bang I VAGUE YOUR PARDON and your point is?

    Kaya babala sa mga nagbabasa, kung minsan ang mga isinusulat ko ay mas magandang basahin pag pagbaligtad. PUN INTENDED.

    Nakatanggap ako ng mga e-mail na nagtatanong kung bakit naniniwala ako na foreign investments lang ang makakatulong sa bansang naghihirap.Hindi marahil siya nakatulog.

    Ang sabi ko yata ay may mga bansang wala ng kapabilidad na gamitin ang kanilang sariling yaman ay napipilitang tanggapin ang mga alok ng mga banyagang kumpaniya upang sila ang tumulong sa pagtayo ng mga infrastactura na nangangailangan ng malaking salapi. Ang lupain ng Tsina ay halos bugbog na sa mga pagtatanim nang mga hindi lang dekada kung hindi mga nakaraang daang taon na para pakainin ang bilyong populasyon.Anumang fertilizer ang ilagay sa lupa ay hindi na magbibigay ng masaganang tanim.Katulad din ito ng iba nating lupain na minabuting gawin na lang subdibisyon dahil ang mga tanim na lumalalabas ay bansot pa kay "Presyus".

    Wala na silang ikatatakot na mapagsasamantalahan ang kanilang likas na kayamanan ng mga banyagang magdadala ng kapital.Katulad ng kapanahunan ni Marcos, ang kanilang pang-akit sa mga investors ay ang mababang suweldo sa manggagawa,walang demonstrasyon laban sa mga multinationals,walang mga piket ,walang union, mga tax holidays at mga tax incentives.

    Pero ang kaibahan ng kapanahunan ni Marcos ay ang
    pag bibigay ng karapatan ng diktador sa mga Puti upang gamitin ang ating sariling likas-yaman nang pinahaba pa niya ang bisa ng Parity Rights.

    ANaniniwala ba kayo na kaya pinayagan ni Marcos ang mga multinationals na ito ay dahil ibig niyang iahon ang ekonomiya ng bansa? Saan kaya nanggaling ang malaking kayamanang naiwan nila sa Switzerland ?

    Marami pang “Marcos” sa ating kasalukuyang pamahalaan. Bawa't isa ay gustong makihati sa "pie".Ito ang legasiya na iniwan sa atin ang yumaman sa masamang paraan at manatiling hindi nakakakulong at ibiniboto pa ng maraming kababayan.

    Ang Singapore ay walanng ikakatakot na mawawalang likas
    yaman ngunit ang kanilang atraksiyon sa mga banyaga ay malinis
    na bansa, walang opisyales na hihingi ng commission para
    maisakatuparan ang isang proyekto at walang ikakatakot na
    makikidnap ang mga expats.

    The CA t

    Saturday, June 12, 2004

    Freelance Philippines

    Dear Mouse,

    If you want to make use of your talents as freelance graphic designers,art directors, programmers, writers and editors then it is time to join the new project

    FREELANCE PHILIPPINES.

    For more information, here is the link.

    Click now or you are going to regret that you didn't. (Hoping I will get FREE LUNCH for this promo. Arekup, bibiro lang).

    networking tip:write to organizations /associations whose members may pool their resources in order to have their own website.

    Directories of the organizations of professionals and small and medium scale services-oriented businesses like travel agencies, etc., are great sources of potential clients.

    The CA t

    Araw ng Kalayaan?

    Dear Mouse,

    Ibig ko sanang tumula ngayong araw ng kalayaan.
    Hindi ko magawa dahil marami akong di maunawaan.
    Kalayaan ba ang isang republikang diktatoryal,
    Pati pirma ng kalihim ni Dewey ay nasa kasulatan?

    (kung gusto ninyong makita ang Declaration of inde- pendence noong 1898, basahin si mlq3).

    Sabi ni Rizal,ayaw niya ang kalayaan,
    Kung ito ay manggagaling sa himagsikan,
    Dahil ang diktadurya ay malilipat lamang,
    Sa kamay ng banyaga at sa maghaharing militar.

    Kalayaan din ba ang ibinigay sa atin?
    Noong Hulyo,isang libo,siyamnaraan at apatnapung anim.
    Kalayaan nga ba itong maituturing,
    Sariling likas yaman, ay hindi lubos atin.

    Ayaw kong tumula, hindi ako makata.
    Ayaw kong tumula dahil ako ay di natutuwa,
    Ayaw kong tumula, ayaw kong mapagod ang aking dila,
    Pero Pilipino ako,isang bansa, isang diwa ...

    erase...erase..erase, partido ni Eddie Gil yon.

    Mabuhay ang Pilipinas. Hindi mabuhay ang mga pulitikong ang isip lang ay magpayaman. Hindi ko sinabing mamatay sila.

    Magtae sana sila.

    The CA t

    Friday, June 11, 2004

    Economics SIX o TO

    Dear Mouse,
    Isa sa mga mabuting paraan para maiwasan ang maagang Alzheimer's ay e-exercise ang utak araw-araw.

    Si XP ay hindi lang pinaexercise ang aking utak, pinagTaebo, pilate at pinagbriskwalking pa.Pinabasa niya ang usapan ng aking "paboritong" columnista at isang magaling na ekonomista, si Sixto Roxas.


    Ani Roxas:

    Enough of this business of luring foreign investments and restoring (foreign) investor confidence.

    Cat: I agree 110 per cent as long as we do not sound like we are sourgraping because most of the foreign investors are joining the exodus to China. It is the politics s…

    Ani Roxas:

    No country in history has yet developed through foreign investments, not anywhere, not in the past, not in the present. All the developed countries today have developed from native ingenuity and boldness.

    Cat: I still have to check the history of Singapore, It is a country that has no natural resources, with its strategic location as its only competitive advantage. Prime Minster Lee Kuan Yew practically “begged” the foreign companies to invest in Singapore. When HK residents were looking for countries where they can move when Mainland China takes over HK,Singapore granted them citizenship for a minimum of one million Singaporean dollar- investments.

    Ani XP: If it were more doable and not too idealistic, that is.

    Here is Roxas’ model as explained by Bishop Labayen:

    It is not just that it redefines development from the perspective of the community rather than the investors, it redefines development as the handiwork of people rather than of capital. It sees the people as the makers of development. It transforms them from mere labor, to be hired as needed, to entrepreneurs, to create as is their birthright. It makes entrepreneurship a collective rather than an individual initiative, one that benefits the community in general in wellbeing rather than the investor in particular in profit.

    Cat: Why do I have a feeling that it is just a stale bagel that is dipped in a melted butter and sugar and presented as a new doughnut.

    After China’s failure of improving the economy of the most populous nation of the Earth by killing the feudal lords and distributing the thousands of lands to farmers, they changed to collectivization to counter the effects of the so-called inefficiency of small-scale ownership and the capitalistic propensities of small individual owners.

    The collectivization or what they called mutual –aid teams pool tables-labor and land where members merely held “shares” in proportion to the values which they brought to the CORPORATIVE. Large-scale mechanization , producers’ cooperatives and the plentiful country’s manpower—the coolies and the “ reformed” laborers increased output but not enough to solve the shortage of food and famine.

    So they invited foreign investors. They have no more virgin lands to cultivate. In Economics, there is such as a principle as law of diminishing returns. Theirs, is a law of no more returns . The construction of dam that will prevent the inundation of several villages of Yangtze River destroyed acres of arable lands and thousands of factories.

    Tapping the hydroelectric power of the Yangtze River cannot be done by the corporative. It is where the foreign intervention is no longer a supplement but a main course in order to make the country well and safe.

    Ani Roxas

    When the GNP is deemed to increase each time a community gets devastated by a storm or an earthquake because of the sudden frenetic activity in the area, characterized by the flow of goods and emergency employment. A loss in real life becomes a gain on paper.

    CA t: To be more specific, I suggest that he uses GDP instead of GNP. Malaking diperensiya. Yong isa N, yong isa D. DI ba magkaiba?

    Yong N National,kasama pati yong padala ng mga “sellouts”. Ang sabi niya mga emergency employment lang daw dahil sa calamidad. Di dapat DOMESTIC lang (GDP).Sabi ng propesor ko yan na apostoles ni Bernardo Villegas.

    Ani Roxas;

    The wisdom of a community-based and people-centered development is not unproven.

    Cat:Explain then in not more than 100 words why China is back to capitalism although they do not admit the truth.

    Ani Quiroz:

    I heard English is going to be prescribed as the national language, or at least as the medium of instruction in schools, because that is presumably the only way we can communicate with tourists, multinational executives, and potential employers abroad. It distorts the whole concept of language altogether. A language is not something a people need to communicate with others, it is something they need to communicate with them.

    Ca t : A country should have at least two languages; a foreign language that enables them to access several networks, and new opportunities in business, academia and culture while the native language help us learn and appreciate our history and cultural identity. During this time when school is virtually borderless, it is stupidity to adhere to the idea that speaking the native tongue is a virtue of nationalism.

    The CA t

    See Sassy

    Dear Mouse,

    Who sez Sassy the Filipino Lawyer, mother, wife and Radical Chef cannot be bought?

    Buy TODAY newspaper and go to the food guide(6/11/04). Mas malinaw siguro ang picture niya kaysa dito.

    The CA t

    Somali ka-t

    Dear Mouse,
    Si Ususera, hindi nakatiis kung ano ang anyo ng Somali Cats kung saan kasama niya si jobert, at si xp. Ito ang nakuha niya. Ang kumpletong characteristics ng pusa ay mababasa ninyo sa kaniyang pah-ina.

    eh sino naman ito?

    The CA t

    Thursday, June 10, 2004

    Brenda is back at iba pa

    Dear Mouse,

    Miriam (the Brenda) is back. She advised Pimentel to write memoirs on his sex life.

    CAt to Pimentel: Welcome to blogging world. Ililink ko kaagad siya.

    The Cardinal is also back. He called Pimentel to stop filibustering.

    Ca t: Padre Damaso, shut up.

    Mrs. Marcos wanted to attend the funeral of her friend, ex-President Reagan. The Reagans are her family friends, according to her.So were Chairman Mao and Jiang Quing, the Cliburns, the Hamiltons,the Fords and the Qadafis. Many of her friends enjoyed Filipinos' hospitality at the expense of the Filipino people. Who can refuse her extravagant lifestyle of buying friends.

    Ca t: Sabi nga ni Resty, Imelda is Imelda and not Jackie or Evita. She has never changed a bit. Among her expensive collections of paintings, you will find expensive reproductions;among her expensive diamond collections there will always be cubic zirconias and among her expensive crystals, there will always be puwet ng basong na binili sa 99 cents store.

    Tigil na SISA

    The CA t

    Negative endorphin

    Dear Mouse,

    Nasa ospital ang aking boarder. Triple bypass. Sabi ng kaniyang matandang boyfriend, dahil daw sa mga gamot na iniinom niya para sa diabetes. Clog ang arteries ng 97 per cent.

    Hindi siya naninigarilyo, hindi kumakain ng baboy kasi high blood din. Hndi siya nagtatrabaho. May pensiyon siyang tinatanggap galing sa asawa niyang retired Navy.Madalas yayain niya akong sumama sa mga sayawang pinupuntahan niya sa mga senior center,kahit iniinsist niya na hindi pa siya senior citizen. hehehe Hindi niya maintindihan kung ano ang ginagawa ko sa harap ng aking laptop. Grade 4 lang ang tinapos niya kaya medyo mababa ang kaniyang pang-unawa. Parang bata ang kaniyang mentalidad. Para akong may anak na inaalagaan na kailangang paalalahanan sa maraming bagay-bagay.

    Nasaan ang kaniyang pamilya? Ang kaniyang mga anak ay nandito sa America pero walang makaalala sa kaniya. Ang mga apong inalagaan niya ay di man lang siya madalaw. Nagtrabaho siyang caregiver hanggang sa siya ay magkasakit. Madalas siyang umiyak.Talagang palahaw.

    Ang buong buhay niya ay umiikot lang sa boyfriend niyang 78 years old. Pag sila ay magkagalit, para siyang mamatay sa sama ng loob.

    Dito ko naalala ang pelikulang About Schmidt --pelikula ni Jack Nicholson tungkol sa pagtanda at paghanap ng atensiyon galing sa mga anak. Pinakamalaking negative endorphin yata yong isiping wala ng goal para mabuhay. At palagay ko yon ang nagpalala sa kaniyang sakit sa puso.

    Tahimik ang bahay, pero masaya na rin akong nabalitaan na dinalaw siya ng kaniyang mga anak at mga apo. Bakit kailangan pang lumala ang kaniyang kalagayan para maalala ng mga anak niyang pinalaki niya. Sabi nga ni Jack Nicholson, why not remember us when we are still alive?

    The CA t

    Wednesday, June 09, 2004

    Endorphins

    Dear Mouse,
    Known to be the natural painkillers, the major calming effect of endorphins to the central nervous system, muscles and a host of hormonal glands is the reason why mind-controlling cults can attract troubled potential followers.

    Researchers hypothesized that the human brain produces an opioid substance very similar to opium.

    These endorphins account for the pleasant feeling we experience while watching the sun slowly disappears from the horizon; watching a calm blue ocean or listening to the beautiful music.

    They are believed to block the transmission of pain-carrying brain chemical substance that produces pain.

    Researchers agreed that certain situations can prompt the production of these chemicals.

    A pastor of healing ministry makes autosuggestions that the sick person in the audience or the one that is being prayed over is getting healed. The sick person's brain is stimulated to produce the chemical that numb their pain and get the feeling of comfort. Sometimes the effect makes the person euphoric that he praises the Lord and puts more money in the envelop.

    It is not for me to judge the motivation/inspiration of these people who make money from their ministry. They have overhead to pay and more luxuries to enjoy. Let us get real, according to them.

    Fountains that give soothing sounds became hot gift items for stressed superiors.

    A good laugh stimulates endorphins too. A doctor said that most recent researh showed that blood samples taken from people lol-ing to funny and corny stories contain higher ratio of endorphins than stress-related hormones. So whenever I want to be opiated, I try to induce my brain to produce endorphins.

    To the boy-from-hell however, the sound is not soothing. He goes to the bathroom everytime he comes near the Buddha fountain. I do not know what he does inside.

    The CA t

    Trojan and decision-making

    Dear Mouse,

    Decisions, great and small have to made every hour of our life.

    We know that when we goof, there is a high price to pay. If the Trojans did not decide to receive the huge horse from the Greeks as an offering of peace, there could have no Trojan downloader Virus. Woooops. Nor a movie entitled TROY.double oops

    It is early morning and I already have to make a decision or perish. These guys are asking me...

    How do you like your eggs?

    The CA t

    Venusian President

    I called it one plus one equals Demetriou.

    The Enquirer editorial today dated 6/10/04 bannered it as Harriet’s number trick.

    Whoever wins between Poe and Macapagal,
    Venusians like me are assured that there will
    be a lady president.

    Gloria

    or Susan.

    Did you not notice that Susan does the yakking for Martian Ronnie Poe nowadays.

    Hail to the CSHIES.

    The CA t

    Tuesday, June 08, 2004

    Death threats and ewwww

    Dear Mouse,

    Pinanood ko sa balita yong first day of class sa Pinas.Babait ng mga bata.

    Kabaligtaran dito sa Estet. Basahin ninyo si Durgas at ang mala Miriam Santiago niyang experience ng pagkain ng death threat mula sa istudyante niyang 10 years old.

    Ewwww

    Ayaw ko sanang isulat ito.

    Alas dos ng hapon. Naglalakad ako sa downtown nang mapansin ko ang mga taong nasa tapat ng hotel ay nakatuon sa direksiyon kung saan ako patungo. Hindi naman siguro first time nilang makakita ng magandang pusa.(arekup, nambatok naman kaagad eh).

    Sinundan ko ang tingin at dahil suot ko ay yong aking shades, malabo ang aking mata. Calll it vanity. May kumot. Gumugulong ang kumot. Wala namang hangin. Ususera, tiningngnan ko kung ano ang nasa kumot. Dalawang tao. Isang babae at lalaki. @#$%^&&& Censorcensorcensorcensor.Ewwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww Napatakbo ako. Tawanan nang mga nasa kabilang kalye. Malayo na ako nang makita ko ang police car. Ewwwww pa rin.

    The CA t

    Hiddenwealth ni Sassy sa Switzerland

    Dear Mouse,

    Tinanong ako ni Sassy kung may pic ang brader ko sa kaniyang travel gallery ng bank account ni Macoy. Wala akong nakita pero ito ang aking discovery.

    Hidden wealth ni Sassy sa Houseonahill in Switzerland

    View her houseonahill.

    Ito siguro kamag-anak namin.Nagpapatawa eh.

    Kamag-anak?

    Tagal mag-isip ni Dr.Emer at Tito Rolly.

    Chess anyone?

    Naalala ninyo ang Little Quiapo ?

    Nasa London na siya. Sellout din. OFR.Overseas Foreign Restaurant .

    Little Quiapo

    Kung hinanap ninyo ang brader ko kung nasaan.

    ito siya.

    Oops mali.

    Ito pala.

    The CA t

    One plus one=three pigs(a)

    Dear Mouse,

    Much as I do not favor the logic twisting of Demetriou, I do not also subscribe to the honest error theory of Macalintal. One plus one does not make three. He could just have stick to his own gun of materiality principle that an inisignificant mistake will not necessarily invalidate the total results. Then he could make use of the accepted procedure of the number crunchers that an error can be written off if the amount is not so material that looking for such an error will be costlier for the company.

    They have their own theories and I have also mine. The theory of pigsa. Boil for you. If you find a pigsa, most likely it is not an orphan. Try to look for some more.It may not be an ordinary skin eruption. It may be a symptom of a more serious ailment.(Tanungin ninyo si Dr. Emer).

    Do pigs(a)fly. Yes they do. Even voters did last election. Didn't they?

    If you cannot understand my theory and its relevance to the “honest error" of one plus one, then you may have not the misfortune of having a pigsa.

    The CA t

    Monday, June 07, 2004

    One plus one equals Demetriou

    Dear Mouse,

    Hate ko ang Math at Algebra. Kaya ang trabaho ko deals with numbers. Ikanga, deal with your fears. Ayaw kong masabi ni Math at ni AL na natalo nila ako. May mga scientific calculators naman na puwedeng gamitin para malaman kung ano ang halaga ng milyon mo ngayon sa susunod na sampung taon at ang mga software ngayon ay ginagawang mas bobo kaming mga number crunchers.

    Pero hindi pa ganiyan ka kumplikado ang pagbibilang ng boto. Simpleng math lang ang kailangan. One plus one equals two. Two minus one equals one. Sa mga utak na matatalino, ito ay maaring gamitin para palabasin ang isang bagay ay may katotohanan. Kagaya ni Demetriou.

    I am not for any candidate. I just feel betrayed when bitter partisanship reduces a brilliant lawyer/judge such as Demetriou to a mathematically/logically challenged mouthpiece of a loser/candidate.

    Demet’s logic

    T=X+Y

    X=1662

    T=5475, then Y should be 4048

    Since Y is 4146, does it necessarily follow that it is Y that is padded ? There is also variable x which comprised of three components. It is also logical to conclude that any of these three may have been padded.

    Oh well, she is working for FPJ and she is known to be a staunch supporter Of Erap. Up to now, I haven’t have a clue why this lady sided with Erap, who as a crime czar at that time almost bailed Sanchez out by accusing an innocent UP student.

    Will she follow the footsteps of the ass- licking Rene S. who apparently does not mind if he suffer from intellectual hemorrhaging as long as he can defend his friend?

    The CA t

    Travel photos

    Dear Mouse,

    Ang brader ko sa Europe ang pinakatahimik sa magkakapatid. Ang kaniyang bisyo ay:

  • 1. mag-aral
  • 2. maglakbay
  • 3. kumuha ng pics
  • Lahat yata kaming magkakapatid ay may sixth sense---sense of humor. Tingnan ninyo ang mga pics niyang kinuha sa travel niya sa Europe.

    Sa Rome-tawag niya smart car. Won't you agree?

    Meron namang mga direction na legally blonde.

    Sa London, dito lang siya nagtanong ng direction.

    Smart birds. Kaniya-kaniya silang direction

    Ito namang mga ducks ay puwedeng magpose ng libre sa mga tourists kahit sila shy.

    Sa Switzerland, dito niya dinala ang pinakamamahal niyang Swiss knife. Meron pala sila doong clinic.

    The CA t

    Kasalan pa rin-walang spoon and sporks

    Dear Mouse,

    Maraming venues dito ng kasalan sa Estet. Puwedeng restaurant, puwedeng hotel, sa bahay o kaya umupa ng hall at ipacater ang pagkain.

    Sa mga lugar na "liblibin" ibig sabihin ay dalawang oras and driving mula sa siyudad, sa bahay o sa hall na narerenta sa simbahan o sa local government ang madalas gamitin para sa wedding reception.

    Ang imbitasyon ay hindi limitado sa dalawa. Kasama ang mga bata at sino pa mang nakatira sa bahay. Kaya ang imbitasyong 1 ay nangangahulugan ng 3 o lima.

    Kung single naman ang imbitado,may kasama rin siyang isa dahil sa layo ng lugar, dapat may tagatingin ng mapa o roadsigns para hindi mapunta sa exit na exit sa highway. AKO YONG TAGATINGIN NG MAPA, kaya ako isinama sa kasalang yaon na hindi ko naman kilala ang mga ikakasal.

    Linggo, narating naming ang lugar ng ala-una ng hapon.Dumating ang mga ikinasal galing sa simbahan ng alas dos.

    Alas dos medya, kainan na raw, bago ang seremonyas. Tenk yu. Malapit nang maging cannibal ang aking malaking bituka. Mangani-nganing agawin ko yong mansanas doon sa lechon na nakadapa sa gitna ng buffet table.

    Walang caterer, marahil pot luck ng mga kamag-anak, kasi hindi magkakakilala ang putahe. May kanin, mashed potatos,lengua,dinuguan?pansit,eggroll, inihaw na tilapia, tahong, oysters,hipon,pakbet? lechon at saka maja blanca,leche flan,cassava cake, ube, etc.May punch.(pintasera ko 'noh?)

    Walang spoon and "sporks". Akala namin nasa kabilang lamesa lang. Pero wala talaga,pati drinking cup.

    Nagpanic ang tiya ng bride. Nasa likod daw ng kotse ng isang kamag-anak na iniuwi muna ang asawang sumama ang pakiramdam. Walang cell phone para mapabalik. Walang bukas na store. Walang kutsara at tinidor.

    Nawala pati ang mga malalaking serving spoon sa lamesa.Kinuha ng ibang guests na katulad ko ay gutom na. Lumaki sana ang kanilang bibig.

    Ang tao pag gutom, nawawala ang pagkasibilisado. Ako, na tagahanga ni Mc Gyver ay alam ko ang gagawin ko sa sitwasyong yaon.Kumuha ako ng tahong, kinain ko ang laman, mayroon na akong kutsara. Wala pang limang minuto, ubos ang tahong.Wala na namang kutsara. Problema na nila yon, basta ako busog na. burppp.

    Hiyang hiya ang mag-asawa ,pero ganiyan talaga yan. Karamihan naman sa bisita,hindi nila kilala. Kagaya ko.Pagkaapos ng handaan, kanya- kanyang balot ang mga bisita na para bang binabawi ang kanilang ginastos sa regalo.Sabi ng aking kaibigan pag siya ang ikinasal, bibigyan niya ng name tags ang bisita. Kaya lang wala raw siyang balak magpakain ng maraming tao. Babae ang gumagastos dito sa kasal. Remember, Father of the Bride? .

    The CA t

    Canadian citizenship

    Dear Mouse,

    Pakisabi kay Pimentel na sa Canada, recognized ang dual citizenship. Puwede kang maging Canadian citizen na hindi naman kailangang i-rinounce ang Filipino citizenship.

    Kung ako naman kay Luz, aaminin ko na kung siya ay Canadian citizen.

    Ang kaso ni Imee ay special accommodation sa mga corrupt na taong magdadala ng pera sa banko ng bansa.Pag gumamit ka ng passport ng ibang bansa,ibig sabihin noon ay citizen ka na. Hindi ko alam pero dapat alam ni Pimentel yon. Masyado yatang naapek- tuhan siya ng laman ng bote. Sayang, dati idol ko siya.

    Gagastos na naman kayo ng pera niyan sa walang kalatoy-latoy na issue. Magtrabaho na kasi. Katabi ko ngayon black wolf.

    The CA t

    Sunday, June 06, 2004

    Ronald Reagan, Erap, FPJ and Imelda

    Dear mouse,

    Reagan and Erap

  • They were both former B movie actors.
  • They both became Presidents.

  • Reagan married twice while Erap married once but have several mistresses
  • Reagan was faithful to his wife of 60 years while Erap is faithful to his image of being a womanizer.
  • Reagan was reelected while Erap was ousted.
  • Reagan was a son of a poor alcoholic father who struggled to become a movie actor from a pop corn vendor in football games and later as a President of the United States while Erap was a son of a well-to-do-family,schooled in a Jesuit-run university; dropped out of college not because of financial reason; became a popular actor after producing his own movie; he could have remained just a bit-player had he not bankrolled his movies.
  • Reagan delivered witty lines while Erap inspired no-brainer jokes.
  • An example was after surviving the assasination attempt, Reagan told his wife Sorry, honey, i forgot to duck.

    On his family background and having lived in Home along the Riles: Our family did not come from the wrong side of the tracks but we were certainly within the sound of the train whistles.

    Reagan and FPJ

  • They were both actors
  • They both run for the highest position; Reagan won twice while FPJ seemed to have failed in his first attempt
  • Reagan graduated with Bachelor's degree in Economics and Sociology by working as lifeguard and being a dishwasher while FPJ claimed that he dropped out from school when his rich father died and he had to support the family.
  • Personal Note: That was crap.There is no tall mountain that you can not climb and no deep ocean that you can not swim if you really value education.

  • Reagan was a good communicator because he believed that facing the camera and telling the people the truth as you see and feel was the best way to reach the people while FPJ never spoke a single decent statement with eyes focused on the camera.
  • Shy? No. Just a simple guy with nothing to say.

  • While Reagan had already joined every organizations that would save the world and had actively participated on issues affecting student body in his own school; FPJ has no record about his involvement on national issues. He was too busy saving his movie outfit from bankruptcy; regularly attending to his vice of horse racing and getting his movie starlets, pregnant.
  • Reagan ang Imelda

    According to Katherine Ellison, the author of Imelda the Steel Butterfly, when Governor Reagan and his wife Nancy were sent by the Nixon administration to show US support, Imelda would have been happier with someone with higher rank. Later, she would capitalize on this visit to gain friends and admirers.An ambassador observed that Imelda who put huge stock into symbols of personal connections was fond of hauling out her photo album of Reagans and told the visiting dignitaries that they were more than personal family friends.

    Imelda once again boasted about her friendship with the Reagans; Nancy, the first lady who donated Marcos' gifts to the museum on the belief that it was morally wrong to receive such expensive gifts; Ronald Reagan who ordered Laxalt to cut and cut cleanly. in order to end the era of two-Presidents after the snap election in 1986.

    There is only statement that I would like to remember Reagan and that was the value inculcated to him by his alcoholic father...No diploma is needed for kindness.

    If I may add, compassion too does not need diploma, money and power. It is just the desire to help others to make a difference in their lives.

    The CA t

    Tear down this wall-Reagan

    Dear mouse,

    A few minutes before I read about President Reagan's death, I came across an article written by one of his speech writers, Peter Robinson --a young man of 26 who wrote the speech that was chosen by Reagan among those that were presented to him because of the passage-about tearing down the wall of Berlin.

    When the speech was circulated to the State Department and National Security Council , they tried to tone down the call to tear down the wall. In other drafts, they totally eliminated the statement.

    On June 12, 1987, Reagan did what he thought was the right thing to do, despite another draft of speech submitted to him, hours before meeting Gorbachev.

    He delivered the line without euphimism. He was just saying the truth. Mr.Gorbachev,tear down this wall .

    The CA t

    Saturday, June 05, 2004

    Ronald Reagan PASSED AWAY

    Dear mouse

    Ronald Wilson Reagan,the actor who became president, helped end the Cold War and brought generations of Americans into the conservative fold, died Saturday after a decade-long struggle with the Alzheimer's disease that entered the final years of his storybook life.

    The CA t

    June-Kasalan pa rin 3

    Dear Mouse,

    Hindi siya naging maswerte sa kaniyang unang boyfriend. Iniwan siya nang makakita ng nurse dito sa Estet. Nasaktan siya nang malabis. Matagal din siyang tumira sa akin. Mayroon siyang sariling lugar pero, minabuti niyang iwanan nag bahay na iyon at humanap na lamang ng isang kuwarto. Pero sa akin pa rin siya umuuwi sa gabi dahil naaliw siyang makipag-usap sa amin ng aking roommate. Sa gabi ay umiiyak siya. Minsan ay ginawa ko ang hindi nararapat. Pinagtagpo ko sila sa aking tahanan para sa huling pagkakataon ay magkausap sila. Lumayo kasi yong boyfriend niya na isang sulat lamang ang iniwanan. Sa table napkin pa nakasulat. Ang cheap niya. Buti na lang hindi ko naipangpunas sa lamesa noong inabot sa akin ng aking kaibigan na may luha sa mata. Akala ko gagamitin ko ring pampunas ng luha. Yon pala ay nandoon yong paglalahad niya ng goodbye.

    Nagkita nga sila sa lugar ko. Pumayag ang boyfriend dahil may papeles siyang dapat kunin.Strategy ko yon sa aking pakikialam sa kanilang love storey. Gusto ko sanang magpatugtog ng kanta ni Basil Valdez, Ngayon at Kailanman pero minabuti kong umakyat para magkasarilinan sila. Baka pumalahaw din ako ng iyak. Kailangan ko ng kleenex. Di ako kagaya noong boyfriend na cheap.

    Wala pang limang minuto,umakyat na rin ang aking kaibigan. Sa tingin ko sa mata niya ay mauulit ang eksena sa Perfect Storm. Gusto kong habulin ang boyfriend niya at bugbugin. Gusto kong sabihin sa kaniya ang sakripisyo ng aking kaibigan para lang matulungan siyang makarating dito sa Estet. Kung may vodoo doll lang ako, siguro nagutay sa dami ng karayom na isaksak ko sa manika.

    Tanong ninyo eh sinong ikinasal? Maghintay kasi. Makalipas ang isang taon ay ikinasal ang aking kaibigan sa isang manliligaw na dati ay dinusta-dusta niya.Sabi niya: "Kahit na siya ang natitirang lalaki sa mundo ay di ko siya pakakasalan." Yang ang sinasabing huwag magsasalita ng tapos.

    Pero in fairness sa kaniyang naging husband, mabait ito at biningyan siya ng engrandeng kasal. Ang aking roommate ay maid of honor.Ayaw niya akong gawing secondary sponsor lang. Kailangan daw nasa presidential table ako. Wala siyang kamag-anak na dumalo maliban sa isang tiyahin na first time niyang nameet sa kasal niya.Lahat ng kamag-anak niya ay nasa Pinas.

    Mga eksena:

    Isang ninong na kilalang manunulat: Ikaw pala ang kapartner ko. Kamag-anak ka ba ng bride. (Read: Bakit nakasama ka sa listahan ng mga principal sponsors. Ano ang credentials mo?)

    Isang ninong na naging mataas na opisyal daw sa isang estado ng Estet: how long have you known the bride? (read:Bakit katabi kita sa presidential table?)

    Isang ninang na kilalang isang lider sa pulitika; So what do you do ?

    (Read: Tell me what we have in common so I know what qualifies you to become a ninang).

    Wedding coodinator assigned to show the tables assigned to the guests: I cannot find your name in any table.

    Me: I must be in the presidential table.

    Wedding coordinator: Oh yes. Sorry po kasi hindi po kayo nakaterno. akala ko po hindi kayo ninang.

    Me: Utang na loob, huwag ninyo akong pagsuotin ng terno. Madadapa ako.

    Okay ang pagkain. Kaya lang ang bilis ng mga waiter na kunin ang mga pinggan. Kalahati pa lang ang nakakain ko ay kinuha na ang plato. Humingi ako ng panibago mula sa lamesang may bakanteng upuan. Tinakpan ko ng invitation nang tumayo ako at kumuha ng drinks. Wala akong pantali.Ang waiter na lumapit ay pupukpukin ko ng aking sapatos na mataas ang takong.

    May videong ipinakita. May money dance. Buti na lang nagdala ako ng maraming dolar. Magandang raket yon.Sino man ang isayaw mo ay sasabitan mo ng pera.

    Oras na nang bigayan ng envelop ng mga ninong at ninang. Nahihiya ako sa ibinigay ko dahil bigatin ang mga katuwang ko sa kasal. Ang mabigat lang sa akin ay ang aking bag na puno ng pinagibihisan ko para magenjoy kami sa sayaw ng aming barkada. Pati yong groom ay kasama namin sa dance floor na nagwawala.

    Kinabukasan, tinawagan ako ng aking kaibigan/inaanak sa kasal para pasalamatan. Pinakamalaki raw ang aking pakimkim. huh? Pwede bang refund? Arekup, Mabuhay ang bagong kasal.

    The CA t

    June-Kasalan pa rin

    Dear Mouse,

    Hindi karamihang kasalan ang nadaluhan ko sa Estet. Isa yong sa aking dating roommate na may-anak na ngayong pinangalanan kong the the-boy-from-hell, ikalawa, yong kasal ng isang kaibigan na ginawa akong ninang dahil lahat na ng barkada ay may kaniya-kaniya ng papel sa entourage at marahil dahil sa aking role sa kaniyang malungkot na buhay na sinapit sa pag-iwan sa kaniya ng kaniyang dating @#$%^^& boyfriend. Ikatlo ay ang dinaluhan naming kasal an hindi ko man lang kilala ang kinasal.

    Ang aking roommate ay ikinasal lamang sa huwes. Wala kaming kasama kung hindi ang kaniyang ina, ang kaniyang pakakasalan na kagagaling lang sa Pinas at ang baby na isang buwang gulang.

    Isang kaibigan na napakiusapan namang idrive kami sa City Hall ang ginawa naming ninong, samantalang ako naman ay witness na parang ninang na rin. AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHhh

    Wala silang preparasyon sa kasal. Kailangang mapakasal sa loob ng 90 days at maayos lahat ang papeles.Wala rin akong tulog;hindi dahil sa abala ako sa paghanda. Isang buwan lang ang baby at maligalig. Kagaya ng naging karanasan ni Bikoy, hindi namin alam kung paano patatahanin ang pag-iyak ng baby. Yong pala kabag din. Para rin akong may baby,kasi pag-iyak, nagdudusa din ako--sa ingay. Noong dinala namin siya sa doctor, inalo ang baby ng doctor na huwag daw niyang bigyan ng eyebag ang kaniyang auntie (ako pala yong tinutukoy niya. Yong eyebag ko kasi sa walang tulog ay puwede ko nang ipagbili ng por kilo). salbaheng doktor. urhmp. Balik sa kasalan. Matanda na yong judge. Yon na lang yata ang kaniyang gawa. Pagkatapos niyang pangaralan ang bagong asawa, inutusan niya akong kumuha ng pictures. Sus, ginoo, ninang na ako--photographer, yaya kung minsan---at linebre ko pa sila sa isang burger house parang yong ang kanilang handa. Pasen siya sila, yon lang ang malapit sa City Hall at kailangang maiuwi na namin ang baby'ng nagpapalahaw na ng iyak.

    Pagdating sa bahay, lumapit sa akin ang aking kaibigan at sabi niya. Salamat sa mga tulong mo-- ninang.

    Sampalin ko kaya siya. :) Nakangiti rin sa akin ang baby. awww.

    The CA t

    June

    Dear Mouse,

    June. Buwan ng kasalan. Hanggang ngayon, wala pang makapagpaliwanag sa akin kung bakit ito ang buwang pinipili ng mga magsing-irog para mag- patali sa (kanilang leeg?).

    Nabasa ko ang blog ni Bikoy, tungkol sa kasalan sa Bulacan at naalala ko ang mga kasalang aking dinaluhan.

    Kung inaakala ninyong mas mahal ang maghanda sa hotel o kaya sa restawran, nagkakamali kayo dahil ang darating lang sainyo ay ang mga nag RSVP(ed)sainyong invitation. Okay,okay meron ding nakakalusot pero kaunti lang yon kumpara sa probins na buong baryo ang iyong pakakainin. Kung minsan pati pa ang kalapit baryo ay nakaka sama.

    Kaya kulang ang isang bakang itutumba(buti kong itutumba lang tapos patatayuin). Pati ang mga baboy na tahimik na pinatataba para sa anumang okasyon ay nabibigyan ng hatol ng kamatayan.

    Marami ka ngang kawaksi pag- asikaso, pero kung gaano kadami ang kawaksing yaon, ay ganoon din kadami ang kilo mg mga karneng nababawas saiyong handa.

    Ganito yon. Pinapatay ang mga baboy mismo doon sa bahay ng ikakasal. Habang hinihiwa yaon, ay unti-unti silang naipadadala sa mga kusina ng mga sinasabing "volunteers" para sa kasalan.Hindi ko sinasabing ninakaw nila yon. Wala kasi silang oras mamalengke at walang pagkain sa bahay, kaya tawag nila si Dayunyor at sabay sigaw...hoy bata ka ito, ipaluto mo sa Ate mo. Samahan mo na tuloy ng kamatis at sibuyas. O di ba, ginawang public market yong bahay ng ikakasal.

    Yong iba naman ay hindi nila ginagawa ang pamamalengke, pero nagbabalot sila pagkatapos makaluto at bago ang handaan. Dahil abala ang ikakasal sa kanilang paghahanda, aakalain lang nila na kaya kinulang ang pagkain ay dahil sa maraming bisita.Pagkatapos ng kasal,maari kayong pumunta sa kapitbahay at makikain ng pagkaing galing sainyong handa.

    Sa oras ng handaan, kailangang mabilis ka sa pagkuha ng pagkain kung hindi gutom ang aabutin mo.

    Minsan sa iang kasalan sa probins, isang kutsara ko pa lang doon sa isang pagkain, maraming dakot na ang nagawa noong isang pamilyang kasama ko sa lamesa.Hindi pa mang nakalayo ang usok ng pagkain, ang pinggan ay nalimas na sa kahulihulihang buto at sabaw. Sus ginoo, pagkatapos ng kasalan, naghanap ako ng isang pinakamalapit na restawran kung saan hindi ako mukhang hayok na mauubusan. Pero dahil yata sa trauma, pinuno ko rin ang aking pinggan ng pagkain na para bang wala ng bukas. ahem. Tiningnan ako noong waiter.Wala akong tip na ibinigay. Burppp. Susunod, kasalan sa Estet... Abangan.

    CA t